August 2018 – Page 3 – Really Right

Johnnie Does Drug Addiction

By Johnnie Does…

Addiction is a horrible thing, it changes people right in front of your very eyes. This is a real life account of 2 friends I’ve had to say goodbye to in the last 5 months. By saying goodbye, I don’t mean they are no longer with us, quite the contrary, but they may not be with us much longer if they continue following the same trajectory they are on now. I’ve had a relationship with the Blog Father for about a decade now, and he can attest first hand I am by no means perfect, and share his traits of being a slower learner, I am also very trusting, which led to my downfall.

The first is a former girlfriend of mine. We dated for over a year and a half, including her living in my house. We got along great and shared many similar beliefs. It was almost too good to be true…because it was.

I made clear when we began dating that I have a zero tolerance policy on any type of drug. I don’t care if California says it’s legal. She claimed to understand. Things were great at first and then things got weird after she broke her foot. She instantly dropped her two night college classes and took a semester of unpaid leave from her job working at an elementary school.

This seemed pretty drastic as the Blog Father or myself would be expected to report to work within hours of the cast being set. I felt bad for her and let her sleep in the other bedroom on a futon and have her own bathroom. I screwed up.

One day I was cleaning my house and was going to clean her bathroom next. Once she understood my intention, she got off the couch, ran by me using speed that would make a prospective college football recruit jealous and declared her bathroom off limits to me. Whoa! That’s Weird! I relented, blaming myself saying I should have asked. I figured that it could have been a feminine thing she was worried about me finding…again I was wrong.

One night I was up late doing laundry (my laundry closet is located next to her bathroom) when my eyes started burning and I was pretty much sobbing uncontrollably. I thought I might be going blind but it turned out to be nothing. A few days later I came home from dinner with a friend, and with bladder at maximum capacity, I used her bathroom. I noticed a pink pipe and marijuana on my counter, in my house! She declared it was her mothers and produced a text message saying as much. Her mother wanted her to buy product off a co-worker. Sounded plausible, and her mother told me she was known to crank the hoon every so often, I mistakenly believed her.

One night I returned home from work late (9 pm) and was greeted to a locked garage door and when I obtained access via my key, the front door flung open and someone ran out, it was her. She claimed she had to put something in her car, looking back on it, likely weed. In her haste, she left her journal out on the table open faced that night and I decided if it’s open then the perception of privacy is gone. I was stunned at what I read. The comments were primarily about doing weed brownies, edibles, smoking, and vaping, pretty much everything I said no to at the beginning of our relationship. It was like a pre-pubescent rebellious teenager only she was 27.

I called her out and she denied everything saying its things she desired. Again she reiterated that she has never done any of that since we dated. I believed what she said in spite of the evidence. And yeah that’s like strike 9 for me. Again, I’m a self-admitted slow learner. Well things continued to get worse and she finally walked out.

A couple weeks after she moved out, my mother was helping me get my house in order. She began cleaning the bathroom used by my ex when suddenly, mom screamed. I ran in to see what had distressed her and she said, “What is this pile behind the toilet?” It was a pile of weed, likely 6 inches in height, and a foot in diameter. Liar.

While gathering the debris left behind by the ex from my house, I picked up a box of feminine napkins and as I set it down I heard a clank; yep, a glass pipe found inside. Never smoked huh? I undertook a painting project later and painted the spare bedroom she used for a few months. When moving the bed, I found a large pile of ashes from her smoking weed. Literally, feet from carpet, and highly flammable bedding, also feet from a CA required smoke detector, conveniently located in each bedroom. Yes that is right, she was cranking the hoon just feet from a device specifically designed to detect said smoking. Then the big one was this past weekend, I cut my finger on a mirror and reached for a band aid, and found a vape pen. My trust had cost me, I was a fool, unreal.

Commentary: concerning my ex
You could have a great future; but you need to get your life’s priorities in order. You have no money after the 20th of each month due to your addiction. You had no bills or obligations while living here. You even shared in your journal that you crank the hoon with your co-workers at lunch. Hopefully this isn’t true because if it is you are felony stupid. That behavior is still illegal around schools and your dream of being a teacher will go up in flames faster than your next joint. You are living a lie and are in need of a reality check. You possess no degree or full time work, this is due to your own laziness and addiction. I know you read this blog and I will now tell you something that should upset you far more than anything else. You wanted to get married and that dream was going to become a reality. I was set to speak to the Blog Father during lunch together somewhere (I consider him a spiritual and personal mentor) and ask his guidance. If he signed off, I was fully ready to ask your father for his approval and then ask for your hand in marriage. You made the job easy, congrats. Quit cranking the hoon, grab a book, maybe read it.

The second example involves a friend of mine closer to 80 than 60. We met through church and are both in a religious group. I have known him for 15 years, maybe more. He has a serious drinking problem, specifically the grape. I would be remiss to say I didn’t share a few nights having more then I probably should but for this guy it’s a way of life. Things for him have deteriorated quickly over the last few months. He had to have serious leg surgery and thankfully he didn’t lose his leg, but he was rendered pretty immobile and unable to work. So I helped out, even going as far as going across town to get him food with nary a thank you or sign of gratitude.

On my last visit he stated he needed food and was hungry. I told him I’ll have Safeway deliver groceries and said I would even pay. I asked, “What do you want?” He answered negatively. I didn’t quite understand this. He insisted on me picking him up on my lunch break and taking him to Safeway. Keep in mind the closest Safeway to him is 20 minutes away, his house is 25 minutes from where I work and I have one hour for lunch. The math doesn’t work out.

It was during this time that I found out who I was in his life, the errand boy, also known as another term for a female dog. I told him “No” so he found some other sucker to do the job; this person also is a friend of mine. My friend drove him to Foods Co 30 minutes from his house, to get 3 items, yeah you read that right 3 items.

Around July 4th our church was having a fundraiser selling a hot dog, chips, and a soda for $5 to benefit the church. Sure as the sky is blue he called me and said “shut up and listen” Whoa! That’s Weird! “Get me 10 hot dogs, no buns, chips, and a couple sodas. Tell them it’s free for me.” Yep, next level arrogance there. Keep in mind I attend service at 7:30, nowhere near 12:00 when said BBQ was going to be going on. He knows this. But like anyone with an addiction issue, it did not deter him. He called me later that night. I sent the call to voicemail. I was done with him. He started “crying” on the phone saying “I’m hungry, and you need to help a fellow brother in need” “Where are the hot dogs? I need food.” Yeah, I never retrieved said hot dogs. It was a fundraiser not a take advantage of us opportunity. Sorry dude. No pay, no play.

He called me the following Friday during my lunch, leaving a voicemail, saying you need to leave work early, get me food and just explain it later to my boss. Yeah I would get terminated instantly for cause, all for what? He saw me at a meeting (a church one) and had an ear to ear grin, saying hey dude, I want some of that good wine (I’m the head bartender at our events) I poured him a glass, and told him leave me alone and to get bent. He didn’t like this one bit.

Some background on this guy. He rents a house and sublets a bedroom. He has gone through no fewer than 10 roommates in the last decade, getting along with none of them.

He called me later that night, and again the following 2 Sundays leaving voicemails each time. I finally decided to call him and extend a little courtesy, so I did. He answered saying he went to church and asked God for forgiveness and that I should forgive him as a result, keep in mind no apology or change in behavior on his part. Then he claimed he was joking when he called me about the hot dogs. Yeah I told him no he wasn’t. He claimed he was drunk when he called me saying to leave work early, the voicemail is time stamped 12:15pm, that’s starting very early, by anyone’s standards. He then changed his story and said he has been on medication. Ummmm that’s a felony stupid reason to drink.

Realizing he was going to get nowhere with me he has decided to do what any bully tries to do, force me out via proxy. He has contacted some leadership in our group and is trying to convince them I’m not worthy to lead. That’s right, I own a house and recently cut a deal to be a part owner of a small business. Yes I’m the one with no leadership skills. His biggest accomplishment in the last 10 years is his recording 2 DUI’s, demonstrating that he has as much credibility on the leadership issue as Geoffrey the Giraffe. Here is his “chief issue” with getting me removed, I hold the #3 leadership position in this group and sadly for him I am universally loved by all members of this 257 member group, including our 2 priests. The leadership is 100% behind me, and I don’t think anyone really likes him.

Commentary: Concerning grape man
The book has pretty much been written about you already. You are in your last chapters of life. Put down the grape. If you lack the willpower to do that at least don’t start before 4 PM. It’s made you a shell of your former self. You would rather get ripped than just have a good time. You need serious help.

We went to a BBQ and you proceeded to grab 6 samples of hokee poke ahi tuna off a sample platter. Dude, take 1 or maybe 2, but 6? At the same BBQ you demanded your burger be cooked medium rare. It was a frozen patty. Dude I’m pretty sure that’s impossible and then you barked at the poor guy grilling like you were a drill sergeant. God bless him, I would have thrown the burger in your face and told you to eat poop.

As for your demand to get 10 hot dogs, just think about that for a minute……maybe a minute more. Yeah super unreasonable and to do it through proxy nonetheless. Letting the messenger look bad not the source, classic bully move. Rebuild your life. It won’t be the same but learn to accept people for who and what they are. Telling someone to leave work early because I’m hungry or saying I asked God for forgiveness so you need to forgive me is behavior straight out of the Devil’s playbook. I tend to be suspicious of folks that claim to know what God’s will for my life is especially when they didn’t get the beam out of their own eye first.

Learn these words, “I screwed up. I’m sorry. What can I do to correct this?”

Most importantly come to grips with this: you have gotten at least 2 DUI’s in the last 10 years. At your stage in life, you should be a wise and honored person in our congregation but the master you serve is on tap, you know better. You need to own-up to your problems and deal with them. You behave more like a Pharisee than a follower.

Final Thoughts
Addiction is bad, really bad. The Blog Father will second my motion saying legalizing “the hoon” was a big mistake in California. We will look back on this one day as the opening of Pandora’s Box. This will lead to the destruction of many lives. My advice to people who have loved ones who struggle with substance abuse, try to be there, but it’s not your job to ensure sobriety. Most of all, understand you need to let go. You cannot change people with substance abuse issues and don’t let them guilt trip you otherwise. Walk out of their lives like I did with my friend. Or maybe consider the health effects. Hey ex, you mentioned having kids was very important to you, have you looked at the direct link between cranking the hoon and infertility? Your eggs may not be fertile.

Maybe if you’re a junkie, or know one and you’re reading this blog, google Shaun Weiss arrest, he played Goldberg, the goalie, in the mighty ducks a movie from my childhood. He was around my age in that movie, Take a gander folks, he is 48 going on like 88.

Johnnie Does………out

Panic sets in for Ohio Democrats

Democrats were so certain they would win the special election in Ohio last night they even opted to unfreeze Jimmy Carter to make a couple victory laps on TV earlier in the day. Liberal pundits thought they had this in the bag, similar to a political nemesis of the Clintons. The coverage was strong Tuesday morning, MSLSD’s Joe Scarborough “allegedly” a former GOP congressman claimed victory saying it was the start of a blue wave this election year. His wife and co-host of “Morning Joe” was out of town, and strangely I hadn’t seen Joe this aroused in a long while coincidence? I noticed an abnormal number of commercial breaks and was later able to confirm Joe needed to change his undergarments far more than usual, again the whole aroused thing. Good thing “Morning Joe” has only one viewer, no word on if its Joe’s mommy, but nonetheless “The Chief” doubled this morning’s audience. Anderson Cooper was no better, he actually cracked a smile several times, leading me to believe he may have come back to the straight side last night…likely wishful thinking. Chris Hayes, again of MSLSD, was foaming at the mouth during his show, might have been a health issue, possibly the disease called liberalism. Hayes for those of you who don’t know looks like he physically, mentally, and morally peaked in elementary school, imagine a 5th grader frozen and in an adults body.

Rachael Maddow was a complete and total dumpster fire, literally saying there is no way Rep. Troy Balderson could win. Maybe she had inside information? If so she better find a new bookie because Balderson is going to win, leading by 1% with 100% of the vote counted. The Chief has decided Maddow likely has the IQ of a plastic bottle, because when you throw her around she always gets beaten out of shape. Additionally Rev. Al Sharpton added his commentary saying he “hoped the black man would win this election because blacks need equal representation” there was no black person on the ballot, legally “allegedly.” No word from Paul Begala and James Carville, but word has it they started their own radio show, two ugly white guys, mostly to compete with sitcom/reality TV show Two Broke Girls.

The point of this troll blog is to highlight a couple points. First the Democrats are running on nothing except Trump hate, they have no ideas. They remind me of the Republican leadership under President Obama saying he is no good, vote for us…..why you ask? Well we’re not as bad as him. This isn’t anything to run under, its bad policy. Problem is the Democrats were up to their usual tricks Tuesday, just like any other election, word is the local cemetery had over 100% voter turnout. This was actually a low number usually it’s around 150%. As I tell friends of mine, I lost both grandfathers of mine over the last few years, they voted Republican until they died, now they vote straight ticket Democrat. I’m still mystified, if the democrat O’Connor was up by the same 1% the “associated press”( whatever the heck that means) would have already called the race, went home had a warm bottle of milk and gone to bed already; but nope. The evil, white supremacist, angry white male won so yeah we’re not calling it tonight. “Allegedly” the drill bit used to drill a hole thorough the “O’Conner” spot on the ballot needed to be changed, so those ballots found late tonight will be counted later when said drill bit is working again. (Unless the put the hole in the wrong spot and voted for pat Buchannan.) Additionally, we heard Mr. Balderson is required to answer a 2 AM phone call to test his worthiness for said congressman job (maybe we should change the name congressman seems sexist). The 2 AM phone call is a big thing as you may remember Hillary Clinton answered the call and sent in our military when Benghazi was under attack……or maybe she slept through it, but oh well.

The Chief has seen enough, Balderson won.

FYI Their rematch is in 90 days.

Fake Justice

Lest you thought Fake News was your only concern, how about Fake Justice?

Like every other institution in our society, the courts tend to replace “justice” with “process”. Thus if you “get process” or “go thru the system” then it is assumed that you have arrived at a just outcome. Clearly this is not always the case. We have a colorful history in our country of judicial nullification that has occasionally happened when juries ignore stupid laws and rule that the law itself is unjust.

Grand Juries are convened as a way to bring an indictment against an individual. This is another path that law enforcement can use when perhaps a district attorney is not sure if the evidence warrants pressing charges. Grand Juries also have special investigative rights and can even publish findings of wrong doing.

On the other hand, I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that “a good lawyer can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich”.

Today I read about a grand jury that handed down 900 indictments in one day. They took an average of 39 seconds per indictment.

Not a single case was no billed in June — meaning all 904 cases went forward against the accused.

The average time per indictment was 39 seconds in June, meaning there is no way that grand jurors could have properly considered each case, the lawyers said.

Grand jury averaged 39 seconds per case; York County lawyers want 900 indictments tossed

I agree that that doesn’t pass the Tom Sullivan “smell test”. I think it takes more than 39 seconds to order a ham sandwich at your local Subway. How can enough evidence even be heard to decide if a person can be charged with a crime?

Imagine how these proceedings were conducted.

Bob is charged with being ugly in public.

Here is his photo.

Ok, let’s vote.

All in favor say “Aye.”

Next case.

I See Dead People

“I see dead people walking around like regular people”
Haley Joel Osmen
The Sixth Sense

At work, occasionally I see dead people too.

The State Agency for which I work is carrying debts owed by former state employees that have gone to their eternal reward; often, their demise can create an accounting legacy that lasts for years. You see, we have no ability to go after the estate of decedents to collect on the debt but we also have no way to write-off such debts even when we know we cannot collect them.

Back in the day, this was called a Mexican Stand-off (somehow, I think the plastic bag straw police will decide to make this term politically incorrect soon).

If you die before we tell you that you own the State money due to overpayment, then our legal department determined that you were not notified in a timely manner and we can write-off the debt. This risky and brilliant legal determination was committed to writing just last year. Note to readers, our unit has been dealing with this issue since 2011; thus it took six years to extract this legal opinion.

However, if we notified you prior to your passing then welcome to purgatory. Much like the infamous Hotel California, you may be checked-out but your debt may never leave.

We have no guidance on what to do in such cases. Managers are so risk-averse that they are fearful to put the debt out of its misery. The usual reason stated eventually goes to having proper documentation to withstand the dreaded accounting audit.

For those not familiar with accounting, the function of the auditor is to come in after the battle and bayonet the wounded. ( -:

Example, one guy met his maker in 2012 and the debt which is less than $500 is still on the books in 2018. We have had a copy of the obituary in our office for four years now. In fairness, last month we came up with a way to write-off the debt but as of this writing, it is still in limbo.

Eventually these uncollectible accounting items will be laid to rest but whether they stay buried is out of my control. Should they be uncovered by the dreaded auditors then it may require more silver nitrate, garlic, salt, stakes, or other assorted remedies for fighting the undead than we can muster.

Yeah, the way government accounting rolls they may be back but hopefully not on my watch.

Urban “Oscar” Meyer Strikes Again!

Editor’s note: The Chief is an avid sports fan but when the sports page turns into the crime blotter, The Chief goes on the warpath. Buckle-up because today’s story has more twists and turns than an Agatha Christie novel. As you will see, many folks deserve to be scalped for their participation and subsequent cover-up.

If you are unaware, Urban Meyer is the head football coach at The Ohio State University, and by default the highest paid government worker in the state! Well suffice it to say the last 24 hours have been nothing short of disaster for both University and the Meyer family.

Zach Smith—the former wide receivers coach at the university and a friend and confidant of Meyer since his early coaching days at University of Florida—was terminated back on July 24th after a judge issued a protective order not allowing Smith to come within 500 feet of his ex-wife. Smith has also been charged with criminal trespassing in May of this year; again with his ex-wife being involved. Gotta respect a man for being persistent…never take no for an answer cuz!

Wife beater and general scumbag Zack Smith

The filing of the protective order followed an incident in May in which Smith was charged with criminal trespass after driving his car into his ex-wife’s driveway during a custody exchange of their 13-year-old son.

URL Urban Meyer explains Zach Smith firing, knew about 2009 allegations

Back in 2009 while both were at the State run latrine called University of Florida at Gainesville, Smith was investigated for a dispute, again with his now ex-wife.

Ohio State coach Urban Meyer said Tuesday he was aware of domestic abuse allegations against former receivers coach Zach Smith in 2009, when Smith was a graduate assistant on Meyer’s staff at Florida.

URL Urban Meyer explains Zach Smith firing, knew about 2009 allegations

Fast forward to 2015 and Smith was actually arrested on domestic violence charges in Powell, Ohio.

Meyer being the literal wiener he is, did nothing. Or did he?

Interestingly enough, when reached for comment this past Tuesday, Powell Ohio Police Department said they had no arrest records for Smith, however later in the day they walked it back saying they had found the arrest records and 2 additional visits to the Smith residence by the department.

The Chief needs clarification, so they “found” these records later? Is this like the Democrat party finding millions of uncounted votes long after the election? Did Ol’ Oscar Meyer call in a favor with the local P.D.? Arrest records are usually given out on demand. Most may doubt The Chief here but these college football coaches; especially Meyer who has won 3 National Championships, carry ungodly amounts of clout. More on that later.

Meyer said it was “a very tough call” to fire his longtime assistant. Sounds like it.

Meyer fired Smith on Monday after a report from Brett McMurphy revealed details of an incident in 2009 in Florida in which Smith was arrested for shoving his then-pregnant wife against a wall during an altercation.

URL Urban Meyer explains Zach Smith firing, knew about 2009 allegations

This dude (Coach Smith) made more contact with the opposite sex than John Edwards did in the last nine years and it was a “tough call” to fire him. Coach Smith, as you will see, is a hands-on sort of guy.

Here are more disturbing developments about Smith. “…police responding to a call in 2015 at the Smith residence were told by Smith’s wife,’a domestic incident happened last night at her home and that she has been a victim of sustained physical abuse by the suspect.’ ”

URL Urban Meyer knew of 2009 abuse allegations involving fired Ohio State assistant Zach Smith

Two weeks later, the second visit was “menace by stalking.” Strangely enough neither of the two above incidents led to Smith’s firing. Instead, Smith was let go due to the 2009 claim…being brought forward again earlier this year. This finally resulted in a charge from the 2009 incident bringing down this low life bum.

Coach Meyer—when reached for comment by ESPN (More on this later)—said his support staff had no information regarding these allegations. Hmmm strange how that happens. Ask anyone, get into a minor arrest if you work at a school and the HR department usually finds out rather quickly. But I digress. When you win football games and bring in big $$$ for said school, interesting how things get swept under the rug.

Here is where things take yet another turn. Back in 2009, Meyer’s wife—who was friends with Smith’s wife—actually got involved with his arrest. She consulted with Urban, and Urban said he made the decision simply going to counseling was enough.

May I add that in 2009, Smith brought home a different woman—who happened to be a co-worker—back to his house intending carnal relations with her with said wife present, sounds like a winner. I am aware of a movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, I guess Smith was going for the record of 10 minutes or less.

An argument ensued…that’s to be expected, I don’t think many women take kindly to said husband sleeping with another women in your bed unless your last name is Clinton, Kennedy, or Edwards. Then Mr. Smith put his hands on his wife and hit her, heck yeah boss, hitting women is such an alpha move! Hopefully you taught that broad a lesson, I mean if you want to be in an open relationship go for it. Nothing says manliness like beating up a pregnant woman, I mean they’re almost as strong as men!

Here is just how much the firing of Smith affected the football team this upcoming season “It was a devastating loss for us, it’s not something you expect, especially at a time like this, when you’re only a week out [from the start of training camp],” Buckeyes wideout Parris Campbell said. “But I think the main focus and the main goal is to lean on one another. We need one another in a moment like this. It’s a huge loss, but we’ll move forward.”

URL Parris Campbell on Zach Smith firing: ‘It was devastating’

Yeah, I love to harken back to simpler times when Ray Rice beat the living crap out of his wife on camera and was only suspended a couple games. Was this termination necessary? I need answers? Who will coach wide receivers this year? Oh My God? How will we win the Heisman Trophy now?

Well this blogger doesn’t know if Smith will be wide in jail, but he will be a receiver! From what I hear, hitting women sounds like it is frowned upon in our penal institutions!

Oh, I mentioned things taking a turn earlier for Coach Meyers. Smith’s wife—in an interview with Brett McMurphy, who was fired by ESPN last year—said every coach on Meyer’s staff knew of the abuse she went through in 2015. Smith was not fired for anything that happened in 2015, with Coach Meyer denying any knowledge of these charges. Meyer’s reaction was basically, “Beats me”.

Maybe Coach Meyer and his wife are not on speaking terms but here is yet another revelation in this sordid tale, Meyer’s wife is a registered nurse and a professor in the nursing department at Ohio State. Due to the nature of Shelley Meyer’s job, she is a mandatory reporter under Title 9. (Sorry The Chief doesn’t do roman numerals, the Romans are gone.) This puts both Meyers in big predicaments. Did Shelley tell her superiors? Did she tell her husband? Did Oscar Meyer crush these reports, because this could get his wife terminated?

Here is another good one. A reporter in Columbus, Ohio, home to the Ohio State University, did a freedom of information act request on Smith’s personnel records three weeks ago, he has been stonewalled by the University.

Here are another couple of pure gold quotes by Smith’s former wife “All the [coaches’] wives knew,” Smith told McMurphy. “They all did. Every single one.” Well that’s ok right, because no chance Urban Meyer could have known right? Again, let’s quote Smith’s ex-wife

“I do believe he knew and instead he chose to help the abuser, enable the abuser, and believe whatever stories Zach was telling everybody,” Courtney said.
Courtney (Smith) also went into detail about the alleged beatings, which led her to eventually divorce Zach Smith in 2016 and file a domestic violence civil protection order against him on July 20. The filing of that document, and the revelation of the years of abuse, led to Zach’s immediate firing from the program last week.

URL ‘He chose to help the abuser’: Axed Ohio State football coach’s ex-wife says she believes head coach Urban Meyer knew she was being beaten — and did nothing

Whoa, boom that sounds like a flame grilled wiener!

College football coaches, especially the really good ones such as Meyer wield great influence over people. As mentioned earlier, not one to let that power go to waste, Meyer not only knew what Smith had done, he sent in his goons after Mrs. Smith in 2009. Hiram DeFries, who is the special assistant to the head coach at Ohio State and has been a confidant of Urban Meyer for years, told her in 2009 not to pursue charges against Zach Smith after the incident in Florida. Meyer was the Florida Gators’ head coach at the time; Smith was an intern on his staff. Hiram DeFries sounds like a typical wannabe mob goon, but like Smith, is just a low life scum. Not to go unnoticed is this gem DeFries unleashed as well. “[DeFries] said, ‘If you don’t drop the charges, Zach will never coach again,’” Smith told McMurphy. “‘He’s never hit you before. He was drinking. He’ll probably never do it again. You should think about giving him a second chance.’” Yes history says men who hit women won’t do it again, give him a second chance.

Hiram DeFries makes Courtney Smith an offer she can’t refuse

Here’s yet another bombshell dropped today, “She did not press charges in 2009. Zach Smith was investigated in 2015 for suspicion of felony domestic violence after an incident that resulted in unspecified injuries and showed evidence of sustained abuse. In the Powell, Ohio, police report regarding that incident, Courtney Smith said she had been a victim of habitual domestic abuse. Cleveland.com on Wednesday identified nine reports from Powell police involving domestic disputes between the couple from 2012 to 2018.” Habitual domestic violence, as in like more than one time. Again Oscar Meyer denied he knew any of this.

Luckily, Smith—who makes more than $500k a year of taxpayer money—was able to hire a lawyer to fight these charges. Listen to his attorney comment on these charges. Bradley Koffel, an attorney representing Zach Smith, told ESPN: “Zach Smith wants to be as transparent and honest as possible but it is not going to be done today through the media. It will only be after he and his ex-wife are sworn in to testify. Once he gets his chance to tell his side of events, don’t be surprised when it is corroborated by every police who ever responded to Ms. Smith’s calls.” Well thank goodness he will be transparent down the line, that’s what I need in these turbulent times. Let me guess it was a simple game of patty cake gone wrong, or better yet your wife launched her head into your fist. Koffel sounds like someone who has the IQ of a piece of meat, meaning you leave him out to long he spoils.

This tale is not over yet, here is something really sick. Smith was fired July 24th, on the 25th of July, Meyer was at the Big 10 Conference media days and claimed he had no idea of any of Smith’s 2015 arrest records. So why did you suddenly fire Smith for something that happened almost a decade ago you low life?
Here is why, Urban Meyer is a coward. Similar to a politician (or a chameleon), while at Florida he found a gem in future Pope Timothy Tebow and claimed to hold a saintly moniker, claiming he read the Bible daily and no one was holier than him. Excuse me while I go barf.

Ok I’m, back.

Let’s take a long look at some of the outstanding athletes to pass through Gainesville and Columbus under the tutelage of St. Meyer.

The University of Florida
Aaron Hernandez – murdered at least 1 person, likely as high as 3, never suspended
Janoris Jenkins – finally kicked out of Florida after 5 failed drug tests (Meyer had left) Jenkins had an A+ quote “If Coach Meyer were still coaching, I’d still be playing for the Gators,” he was quoted as saying. “Coach Meyer knows what it takes to win.” Sounds like Meyer was quite the disciplinarian. By the way just recently Jenkins brother was arrested for “allegedly” killed a man, and hiding the body in Janoris house in New York. Hmmmmmmm
Chris Rainey – Felony aggravated stalking, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again?
Riley Cooper – resisting arrest, and failure to comply with fire department orders, what the hell do fire fighters know anyways?
Cam Newton – Felony burglary, larceny, obstruction of justice. Not a banker, bank robber!
Matt Elam – DUI
Carlos Dunlap – DUI
Frankie Hammond – DUI
Jamar Hornsby – felony criminal mischief
Jermaine Cunningham – misdemeanor battery, he threw cups at a Jimmy Johns employee. When a man wants his roast beef hot!
Tony Joiner – Felony theft, I guess he was pulling an OJ Simpson
Ronnie Wilson – assault and battery, also use of a concealed weapon. Applying to be a US Marshall?
We will just stop here, there are at least 30 more during his short tenure at Florida.

Now at Ohio State:
Adolphus Washington – soliciting a prostitute that happened to be a cop. As the chief has mentioned, if it has teeth it’s a cop……..face smash
Gareon Conley – rape, got off, I guess in more ways than one
Kirk Barton – former player arrested for hitting bar patrons, likely putting Smiths training to use
JT Barrett – Dui – he wasn’t as think as you drunk he was

Likely there were scores more, but Meyer wielded his influence and got the charges dropped. Meyer has a very interesting history, he got to Florida, won a couple championships, St. Tebow went pro, and then he suddenly had a heart attack the following year. He took a few years off, working for ESPN, only to take the Ohio State job once it came open 2 years later. Now after winning a championship, I think it’s time for a visit to the cardiologist, because it doesn’t look good.
Meyer was suspended today (with pay) until the investigation is over. I think Meyer better find another gig soon, it doesn’t look good.
As the tale is now told, back in 2009 Meyer and his wife tried to do an intervention with the Smith’s. Mrs. Smith as you recall was in a family way at the time of her spousal smackdown.

At this sad time for these hapless coaches, The Chief can only channel his inner Don Corleone and dispense this advice.

• First, Urban Meyer to act like a man!

• Second, Zack Smith if you didn’t want a child with said wife, put a bag over your pepperoni, what’s the matter with you!

More news has come out of Columbus with assistant coach Ryan Day, (that’s actually someone’s name by the way) interim head coach, and placed Meyer on timeout while they determine how much they should pay that low life. Two coaches on staff were previously head coaches elsewhere but were not named interim coach, this is somewhat surprising until you see the backgrounds of said assistants. One was Greg Schiano, who for some reason looks very similar to Bobby from King of the Hill, this oversized ogre is best known for covering up rape at Penn State by former “ass” istant coach Jerry Sandusky, and lying under oath.

Greg Schiano feels his future slipping from his fingers

The other coach is Kevin Wilson, formerly at Indiana University whose tenure includes being fired for ignoring trainers regarding injuries and repeated run ins with the administration after being warned about his antics. Looks like these two losers will also be going down with the ship, no word on if Schiano knows which way is down.

Perhaps the University of Ohio will let these guys rest with the fishes. Look for an offer that they can’t refuse.

My final observation is one bit of odd information or the lack thereof; coaches get fired annually—it’s kind of a rite of passage. Every time a coach gets fired, even if it’s something really egregious, former co-workers or players come out and say he was a great guy, coach, mentor etc. Nothing but radio silence so far on Mr. Smith. Let that sink in. Additionally The Chief tells Mr. Smith to assume the position. I’m sure this won’t hurt a bit.

Burn in the opposite of heaven you wife beater!

For further reading

URL Protection Order Filed Against Zach Smith

URL Brett McMurphy #2 July 23 @ 2:54 PM

URL Brett McMurphy #1 July 23 @ 5:05 AM

URL Courtney Smith On Abuse Allegations And What Urban Meyer Knew

CRA in Dire Straits

Dropping membership, declining relevance, uninspiring candidates running for President, what could possibly be worse?

No, its not the Democrats, it’s the CRA.

Well, here’s the scoop…..

Anointed CRA leader and Texas resident Ted Cruz is in serious peril for his re-election. The latest poll shows him leading something called a Beto O’Rourke by just 2 points. President Thomas N Hudson has called for all CRA members to “pull a DNC, and leave the state of California, and re-register in Texas” for the sake of the country.

So, CRA members do what you must do. If Ted were to lose his Senate seat, there is no way he can beat totalitarian (your group’s words not ours) leader Donald J Trump in the 2020 primary.

Say you live with someone—like your parents or whatever—but hear the plea to help Ted. You must answer for the sake of the country. Thankfully Texas has early voting, so you could cast you ballot in the Lone Star State 30 days before the election and be back in time to vote for Gavin Newsom come November. If you happen to be on the fence or think this could be construed as voter fraud, remember, God wills it! Besides the membership list used by CRA is from last year or the year before so you’ll never be missed. Above all else, God wills it! Do not let Ted die in vain, answer the call!

Johnnie Does Jury Duty

By Johnnie Does…

Our “Johnnie does” segment depicts real life blogging of a correspondent wishing to maintain anonymity. He was given permission by the Blog Father to chronicle his exploits as long as content doesn’t turn into Johnnie Does Debbie or any female (or male) named herein; what follows is his account of jury duty.

I was called to “service” aka Jury Duty this past week. On Tuesday my group had to report, so I fired up the ole vehicle and made the trek to the Gordon Schraber Courthouse in Sacramento. (If you wish to avoid your own legal entanglements with parking enforcement, arriving early is essential.) I made my way to the juror parking lot, found a space, parked the car, and walked to the Courthouse.

As I approached the Courthouse steps, I was curious what sort of people that I might encounter during my visit. I kind of knew that the shifty and suspicious characters here to answer for their crimes entered the courthouse via a separate entrance; however, I was hoping to encounter attorneys or witnesses. I wondered whether they might try to influence their case by making me an offer that I couldn’t refuse. I’ve been known to be susceptible to the whiles of beautiful women in trouble or huge wads of cash but I found no one seeking to tip the scales of justice. Alone and somewhat disappointed, I entered the courthouse.

Gordon Schraber Courthouse in Sacramento

Upon entering, those of us reporting for our civic duty were herded like cattle through metal detectors at the security checkpoint. As I was about to enter, the guy in front of me made the machine beep. He then proceeded to take out his phone, it beeped again, then removed his belt; beeped again, then his spare change….(For a minute here I thought perhaps the “Chief Blogger” was in front of me.) Again the machine beeped, and the man said “oh my wallet”; finally, the machine didn’t beep anymore and he was admitted. Clearly this guy thought he was exempt from the signs instructing people to remove all said crap listed above from their pockets and place in a tray so it could be run separately thru the x-ray machine. In contrast, I passed right through and made my way to the jury room.

I check in with the clerk at the window and was told to wait and enjoy a movie that would start playing shortly. I was hoping the movie would be accompanied by a snack and complimentary beverage but sadly this was not the case. After seeing the prices marked on the nearby vending machines, I was hoping the person that came up with the prices would be on trial today for theft.

At around 9:30, they put on an old Sandra Bullock film (is it my age or aren’t all of her films old). Anyway, I had seen enough. I was ready to make an offer to the older lady sitting next to me….$50 to stay here and check me out at day’s end; I couldn’t take it anymore! Shortly thereafter I looked at my watch, I was convinced a few hours had passed and it had to be close to lunch time…it was 9:35.

About the time my sanity was threatening to leave me, a voice interrupted the movie. The announcement was made that they needed a jury and they began called names. I was one of the first ones called so I proceeded to Department 23 as instructed. (Each courtroom is called a department and has its own number.) I was lucky to be moving out of the accursed waiting room. It was time for the real entertainment to begin. I could now sit back and watch a few people get thrown off the jury and once they had a jury picked then I could be excused and sent home. My master plan was in motion!

Upon my arrival at the appointed room; however, reality saw to it that I had no such luck. I was called to sit in the jury box in seat 11, pretty much font and center! The judge read off a couple of preliminary items, saying because the defendant was black didn’t mean he was guilty, etc., etc. We were then asked if we knew any of the other jurors, the judge or defense or prosecutors, I answered, “No”. We took a 30 minute break at 10:30 with instructions to be back at 11; in what became a recurring theme during my time served, 11 turned into 11:30.

The judge very slowly and methodically began asking various canned questions to each of us on the panel. These questions included inquiring as to whether we had a family member convicted of a crime? A few of us raised our hands and the judge called on us individually. I had to state what happened with a family member, to which the judge asked if I knew any of the officers being called as witnesses. I responded, “No”. He then asked if I could put aside any bias I may have for a couple days I answered, “Yes”. He asked a few more follow ups to the panel, then excused us for 2 hours for lunch. I asked myself, 2 hours for lunch, can this be a professional gig?

We returned at 2:00 and waited. We were not called back into the court room until 2:20. From here the two attorneys took over, and I was again under attack. I was asked if someone was pulled over going 66 in a 65 zone if that was considered breaking the law, I replied, “Yes”. The female defense attorney had a follow up saying she was deeply disturbed by my answer to which I replied, saying posted speed limits should be adhered to at all times but occasionally circumstances warrant someone’s speed to fluctuate over and under the speed limit. She went as far as saying she had no witness list and solely planned to rebut everything the prosecutor brought up during trial. She finished up and the prosecutor took over, asking another juror some follow ups. To my amazement, the defense attorney then trained her fire on me once again asking what my thoughts were on being pulled over for only going a mile over, I answered than I believed it was the officer’s discretion. At this point I figured the defendant had been pulled over for something fairly ticky-tack then attacked and assaulted the three police officers at the scene, one being a women. At roughly 3 pm the judge said someone had to be somewhere in 30 minutes and we were going to stop here for the day. No one had been thrown off, and just a few questions so far had been asked of the prospective jurors. Our day was over, but our “service” was not; we were required to report back tomorrow at 9 am.

I reported back the following day and waited outside the court room doors. The other jurors began showing up and we waited until around 10:30 when the doors opened. Everyone took their respective seats and the judge began to address the group. He said he will take the blame for today’s goings on but we could not proceed because the defense attorney was sick. As a result, we had to return the following day at 1:30. He said he had a delta tunnels hearing in the AM. Frustration began to set in with the jury pool. One young lady said her boss was forcing her to take off work while attending jury duty, another works night shifts and is essentially unable to sleep during this charade. You could tell on the way out of the courthouse there was unrest brewing among the natives.

I returned yet again the following afternoon and boarded the elevator, the defense attorney got on next to me. I asked if she felt better and she said yes. I said well I’m sure it was no big deal you were absent yesterday. As we approached the courtroom I boasted to the fellow jurors “hey she isn’t sick anymore, she’s here!” To which she turned red as a tomato from all the clapping from us jurors. I think at this point she came to the realization that most prospective jurors while leaning toward being more than fair had turned on her and her client. As a group, we were sick of the delays and non-stop hurry up and wait mentality.

At 2:30 they called us into the courtroom again, and the judge said there was a resolution, the accused had pled guilty. The judge addressed us for about 30 minutes saying he was glad for our service and that we shouldn’t view this as a waste of time at all. He talked about the new courthouse being built soon at the cost of 400 million and how this building was deficient and so on so forth. He said something about us getting paid, I’ll believe that when I see it. We had to go back to the jury room and get a sheet of paper saying we served 3 days, presumably to give to our employer so they wouldn’t have an excuse to fire us. Then we could go.

My commentary:
This was the ugly underbelly of our justice system, which frankly I believe is rotten to its core. There were many people in that court room whose life was inconvenienced over 3 days in the name of this defendant. One lady drove all the way from Isleton for this, that’s more drive time than court room time for all you home gamers. More frustrating was that we as jurors were the ones constantly in flux. It’s somewhat stressful finding parking, then you had to factor in getting to the right floor, then wait for the court to open. Additionally there was no phone call saying no jury was needed since the defense attorney was sick.

However I would be remiss if I didn’t say this was a very good learning experience. At first I was flummoxed the judge didn’t seem to allow anyone’s excuse to stand. He had a very calm demeanor and usually asked you a question where your answer meant you shouldn’t be excluded. It wasn’t until after the jury duty was over I understood what was going on.

The judge was basically telling the attorneys this is going to be your only pool by which to pick from so of the 40 or so in this room try to find 18. (The jury is composed of twelve jurors plus some alternates.) I think he knew several of us were bound to get thrown off and as a result wanted both attorneys to use their 10 “challenges” as opposed to him throwing people off. Additionally I believe that before the jurors were set to be readmitted to court, the judge told both parties I think we can have resolution now, then boom, a plea deal was reached. I cannot definitely say justice was done because I was not there the day of the arrest for the crime, but I do think the defendant, by holding out until the last possible second, got the best deal possible.

Honestly the case was going to be nearly insurmountable for the defense to win, regardless of whether the initial traffic stop was legal. The biggest hurdle to overcome was that the defendant was accused of assaulting 3 badges (police officers)—one being a female. I say insurmountable because as a male, it would be very hard to acquit or even attempt to hang the jury when a male hits a female. Hopefully he got a fair deal, as I’m sure jail time was on the table. However if it would have gone to trial, I would be remiss to say I wouldn’t have wanted to be a fly on the wall hearing the defense attorney argue a case with no witnesses, videos, or her client taking the stand.

Now on to the judge, Kevin Culhane. I thought initially he was long winded, slow and deliberate, and at one point seemed as if he was intentionally wasting time.

To the contrary, Judge Culhane is a very distinguished civil court trial judge who has presided over a ton of civil suits. In retrospect, it makes sense that he was very deliberate, and tried to make the prospective jurors feel at ease even though some of us were talking about some very uncomfortable things either in ours or our families’ past. He always made it clear what the next steps were and apologized profusely for the defense attorney being sick and inconveniencing us. He spoke to us at length prior to dismissing us, and told us he was appointed by the governor to address the 6 year backlog of criminal cases at the court, and to put together a strategic plan to get a new court house built. He accomplished both of these, the new courthouse will be shovel ready in a couple months! All in all not a bad experience at all.

Johnnie Does San Francisco is next!