Category: Restaurant Reviews

Did I do it again or did I do it again????? I reviewed this overpriced restaurant giving it a 1.7 out of 5. Everything was all kinds of bad here, from the tables and chairs still stacked up, to the absence of a menu, to food quality. The phony looking hanging sign inside displaying their name didn’t exactly inspire confidence.

Well I went by the joint a week ago, and it was dark inside, at 12:30 mind you, heart of lunch time. Actually, there was a man working inside, he identified himself as the alarm installer. But no workers to be found, not really a surprise. I walked by the place again today, and they are permanently closed, I guess when there is a pandemic and folks aren’t allowed to leave their homes, overpriced, poor quality food is not the answer. Who knew?

Oh, check out their Yelp reviews, looks like they were universally bad.

So yes, they are permanently closed. Johnnie Does claims another scalp, (no offense to The Chief is intended by this remark). I have done more damage to poor/bad businesses in a few short months than The Chief has ever done. And frankly he needs to change his name, it’s very offensive, maybe indigenous blogger would be a better fit?

Just remember restaurants, Johnnie Does is always lurking about. You can try to hide, but if he gains entry, he can elevate you to the next level, or he can shut you down. Side Burn BBQ and Gordito’s have been shut down by Johnnie Does.

Keep your head on a swivel.

Johnnie Does

Bloggers note: Johnnie Does is apparently channeling his inner James Carville as he was so hot, he almost spontaneously combusted because of his lunch visit. Below is his account.

I visited Rubio’s on Bruceville Road on Friday 6/7 for lunch. Rubio’s is a chain, known for their fish tacos. The menu is a little pricy but that’s ok as they are known for quality. They operate as a fast-casual place, meaning you order at the counter, take a place at a table, and the food is brought to you.

I ordered a bacon and shrimp burrito. It comes with rice, beans, the aforementioned (great word by the way) shrimp and bacon as well as guacamole, which I declined. As the Blog Father can attest, I never order sour cream or guacamole as I am severely allergic. Yes, as in it could kill me; apparently, I had a health episode as a kid and have never touched it since. I even say no guacamole or sour cream even when the entrée doesn’t come with it just to make a point of my major food allergy. To continue, I placed my order and found an empty table. It was filthy, not with food remnants, but dirt and grime. Wasn’t this place closed for 11 weeks?

Continuing onward; I waited for about 20 minutes. I don’t mind waiting because I would rather that my food be fresh and made to order as opposed to a fast food, quick serve place where they have it precooked. As the lady brought the burrito out, I had a feeling something was wrong; especially when a side of guacamole in a small cup was accompanying it. She set the burrito down in front of me, to which I inquired… “is that guacamole?” pointing to the top of the burrito at a green, ¼ inch thick coating. She responded affirmative. I told her I am deathly allergic and asked for it to be left off. She said they would remake it, but only after checking my order ticket. I knew there was a problem here…. customer is allegedly always right, why the checking of the ticket?

So, the young lady promised to have it re-made After a 10-minute wait (again not a big deal), she came right back to the table… with the exact same burrito just face down. The same guacamole conveniently located now on the downside. When I pointed that out, the young lady apologized saying they would make it a third time…. funny she said third because it was never re-made.

Look, I know kitchens are reluctant to remake or scrape off, margins are thin as it is, but when a food allergy is involved… it was their error.

I declined a third attempt as I have a schedule to keep at work, one must earn a living you know. She told me it would take her 1 minute. Again, I declined. It was 1:22 and my lunch is over at 1:30. She insisted. I kept saying I have to get to work, let’s just refund the transaction, I never blamed her. She said she didn’t want me to leave without food, it’s a nice gesture but it was too late. I told her I had to go. She said, let me write your name down and come back later to a free entrée…. keep in mind I already paid for one that was never made correctly. I told her I would not likely be back for dinner, to which she offered just come to the counter your name will be written down whenever you want, like some sort of will call. When I declined, (let’s face it, Johnnie used to be a common name) I don’t want some other jamoke to grab a free entrée because they are a namesake.

This is when it got odd, they would not refund me my money. I used a valid credit card; it should have been easy. She kept insisting on this will call thing, which I was not interested in. I was told no refunds, but I could charge back my credit purchase. Funny, this is likely due to places of business being “protected” when charges are under $25. This means the business does not lose the revenue, yet I am made full.

Rubio’s, I will never visit your weak-kneed establishment again. Twitter followers pin this and retweet as I am in disbelief. They may have messed up on my order, but to re-serve it face down knowing someone could potentially get very sick and/or die from a food allergy is a wild move. To add, seems like your location has several cockroaches there, and I am not talking about just your kitchen, I’m talking about in your bathrooms.

Gross.

Avoid.

Johnnie Does

We have all seen the ads and heard the hype, Wendy’s–for the octillionth time–is making a run at the breakfast crowd. Since we are under house arrest unless you are going to work, school, the grocery store, the pharmacy, getting alcohol, or getting take-out so I figured I would try Wendy’s. I checked online to peruse the options, and most of the items looked pretty good!

Ambiance: Well it was take-out only, so, it’s going to be a low score. Damn the Chinese and their BAT SOUP!!!!!!! But actually, the inside of this newly renovated Wendy’s was actually quite nice. We’re talking close to a Starbucks type vibe here. I could see myself…well not really hanging out here for a long length of time. Still 3.3/5, its actually pretty nice inside.

Food: The menu had a nice selection; biscuits, sandwiches, a burrito (weird for a place headquartered in Ohio). After careful consideration, I settled on the Breakfast Baconator Combo, consisting of a burger bun, 6 strips of bacon, a sausage patty, 2 slices of cheese, an egg and Swiss cheese sauce. It came with potato wedges, coffee, and a free Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. So, I get all 2,000 calories for breakfast, wow. Price point was a little high for my liking but that’s ok when you account for the free sandwich. The honey butter chicken biscuit was outstanding, like on par with Chick-fil-A. Actually, really good. Also, the potato wedges were seasoned perfect, again very good, coffee is coffee. The Breakfast Baconator though, was way too much, everything competed. The sausage was over seasoned, so it fought the bacon, and the egg, the burger bun was wild and out of place, and the Swiss cheese sauce was overkill. I would go 3.5 on the breakfast; I would order the biscuit and the wedges for sure.

Overall: It’s a fast food joint, so it’s graded on a lower end curve. The place was nice, the people were surprisingly friendly. The food came out way too quick for my liking, almost like it was sitting from earlier. (I was there at 6:45, I ordered to go from inside). I really liked that biscuit though. 3.4/5, I think the menu is here to stay, and it’s not bad.

Johnnie Does

MacQue’s is a local family owned BBQ joint which recently expanded into Elk Grove, from their humble beginnings in South Sacramento. The joint is located right by a freeway, so it has prime real estate. Being born in the Deep South, I am a big BBQ guy. Frankly I consider BBQ a basic food group. I’ve previously reviewed two BBQ places on this blog during my employment here, just to remind you, one of which is no longer with us. William said the first lady, and child went and weren’t impressed. I figured that was why my reimbursement request was denied for this place…alas here goes.

Ambiance: This place really isn’t that big. If memory serves correct, it was a former Mexican restaurant and florist which was reconstituted to be an Arby’s/MacQue’s, and Golden 1 ATM. It had some nice flare to it, a little homage to BBQ, but not much about their local roots. This was puzzling to me because younger folks have shunned chain places and a growing number of people are willing to pay a little more for a local joint, especially a family owned one! You order at the counter similar to a fast-casual joint, and it was a disorganized mess. 1.2/5

Food: Typical BBQ faire, ham, pork, tri-tip, brisket, chicken, ribs, and homemade links. It reminded me of Dickey’s or Side Burn (RIP), because you could order combo’s, sandwiches, etc. The sides were consistent with any other BBQ joint. I asked the cashier, who doubled as the owner, what the best thing on the menu was, he stated the “Link Trio.” It was priced at $14.99. He claimed the links were all made in house from a special recipe and I could choose 3! I obliged. He said it comes with a chicken Louisiana link, a hot link, and a house made link. When I asked what choice, I got…he responded you want the house made link to be mild or hot…. I ordered hot. He recommended I try the house made kettle chips, and the mac n cheese, I obliged. You pay, take a seat and wait…. wait…. wait…. wait… and guess what? More waiting.

About 20 minutes later the food was out. I figured it has to be good…. nope. The Mac wasn’t bad, mostly because, as William said in his review, it was not drowning in cheese. The kettle chips were very stale, like expired 3 weeks ago stale, even though the owner claimed they were being freshly cooked…yikes. But wait it gets worse. The homemade links…. literally trash. They had a vinegar and pasty-like dry taste. Sausage shouldn’t taste this way, all three were awful, like I threw away half of it. 0.5/5

Overall: Yikes, this was horrible. I guess there is a reason it shares a parking lot with an Arby’s and a Big Lots, it was awful. Actually, KFC may be the best food in the shopping center which isn’t saying much. First get your employees to grab a bag of Kettle Brand Chips, hit ’em with some seasoning and claim they are yours own, at least they would suck a little less. The sausage…woof, drop from menu, it tasted like the rations provided by the government called Soylent Green. Trust me your sausage is just like that movie…straight to DVD. 0.7/5

For a far better use of your money, light it on fire, or flush down nearest toilet.

And OMG the waste. I literally filled up a dumpster with all the plastic that came with my meal…. the folks in Davis and Berkeley have never been so triggered.

Johnnie Does

A brand new place, Sunshine BBQ Express, opened not far from my office that rivals the L&L Hawaiian BBQ joint I loved so much. To refresh you, its Hawaiian style BBQ and rice, macaroni salad etc. Johnnie Does has quite an established palette and has grown to enjoy Hawaiian BBQ. As all the loyal readers know, Johnnie Does can show no mercy if he doesn’t like your food, or he could serve as a springboard going forward.

Ambiance: This place is very small and may hold about 35 people inside. It’s your typical order at the counter and your food will be brought to you place. It’s quaint and has some cool décor on the walls. There was a bar type area to sit at that appeared out of place, as no liquor was on the menu. The owner said they had been open a month and they tried out a chipotle type cafeteria concept at first, which they later removed and put all cooking back in the kitchen as opposed to cafeteria style. 4.1/5

Food: It’s a very similar concept to L&L. They offer BBQ beef, short ribs, chicken, shrimp, fish products and spam. They also have a house special soup. The plates come with a scoop of white rice (not sure if brown was available as a sub) and a scoop of macaroni salad. I had something catch my eye, island fire shrimp, so I had to have it. It was a very generous portion, usually priced around $9.95, there had to have been about 20 some odd small shrimp, cooked with onions, a sweet and hot sauce and some broccoli and cabbage in addition to the rice and mac salad. This dish was amazing! The spicy sauce was a great pairing with the creamy, cool mac salad! 4.9/5

Overall: Prices are on point. It is a very small joint. I’m happy they transformed to a “cook after ordered” as opposed to a cafeteria style joint. The menu is a little hard to read on the wall, but the staff was great and the owner was working! I’m going to be a regular here and I’m looking for big things going forward! 4.75/5

Only drawback, it shares a parking lot with Foods Co. That shopping center often has a clientele that leaves a LOT to be desired. The address is 7501 W. Stockton Blvd across from Consumnes River College.

Johnnie Does

The moment you have all been waiting for is finally here….no Trump was not impeached; it is the best chicken sandwich award. With Popeye’s introducing their own delicacy and claiming to be better than Chick-fil-A, only one man could decide for all Americans, and as a result the Blog Father sent Johnnie Does out and about for this mission critical challenge. (Sadly, the Blog Father did not provide the funding to Johnnie Does to perform this vital public service, so this resulted in a delay in finishing my survey. OK, that and I must watch my sodium intake.)

The challengers: Chick-fil-A, Popeye’s, Jack in the Box, McDonalds, Carl’s Jr, Burger King, and Wendy’s.

Results are as follows:

Jack in the Box is vile trash, likely only viewed as a delicacy by the homeless.

McDonalds was just slightly better; however, they are releasing a new sandwich this year so who knows? Meanwhile, I would avoid both of those spots.

Burger King was not exactly great, but the chicken with the mayo, lettuce, and tomato was a decent call.

Wendy’s was pretty good, especially the spicy chicken sandwich… and I would most definitely recommend it.

Carl’s Jr was the best of this lot, and I feel it’s because it was prepared after being ordered…the others gave off a hint of being pre-prepared.

But let’s not kid ourselves this challenge was between Chick-fil-A the “greatest of all time” and the new kid on the block Popeye’s. Some said WWI was the war to end all wars…I think this was an allegation by Popeye’s to divide families. Alas a champion was crowned.

For starters; both are served in an envelope to keep the sandwich nice and warm…as opposed to the competition just wrapping them in “paper.” Both sandwiches are served as a boneless, skinless chicken breast fillet, with pickles on a steamed bun. This is where the similarities end, Popeye’s comes with either regular or spicy mayo, and thick cut deli pickles. Chick-fil-A has thin cut pickles and does not come with mayo; however, in true southern fashion, they butter the roll. Popeye’s chicken is fried more traditionally and has a “popcorn like” breading whereas Chick-fil-A has no breading at all.

The winner: Chick-fil-A… mostly for one reason, Popeye’s puts an alarmingly high amount of mayo on the sandwich, even if you request light mayo, its wild. I enjoyed the Popeye’s sandwich, but the amount of mayo was very off-putting.

So, there you have it, the greatest of all time retains the title belt!

Johnnie Does

Loyal readers, I have heard it all during my short couple years here at the blog as a restaurant critic. I’m too harsh, not harsh enough, we even had a comment from a local franchisee trying to defend his now defunct chain of BBQ joints. I have driven up sales at a local Mediterranean place, and driven one place completely out of business, let’s just say, do not mess with me or take me lightly.

I want to re-visit my last review of a new Mexican place, Gorditos! To update you, they now have a sign so they appear quasi legitimate, and while the décor is still completely lacking, and the chairs are still stacked in the corner, the fact they were still open for business as of today is an accomplishment. Either that or the landlord hasn’t had enough time to legally change the locks for non-payment yet.

Now to the point of this article, I checked out Gorditos’ reviews on Yelp. While I am aware that Yelp can be manipulated, and you are far more likely to write a bad review then a good one, but take a gander.

Yep, just look at those reviews.

Confused ••• this was the Freebirds building, .. but now its Gorditos? which still has all of the Freebirds decor and food? Except the standard dropped way lower? Whoever the new owner Is needs to reevaluate. Everything feels dead in there. The vibe and customer service is completely gone. only some of the food options, the building is tore up and just isnt welcoming, Oh and not to mention the awkward silence of having no music. Alo they have a huge beyond meat sign on there window but yet they dont serve beyond meat? Im completely at a loss for words that our beloved Freebirds is gone and that THIS was supposed to be its replacement…its a joke. Not recommended.

Yeah um the second I walked in it was bleak and the environment is no fun at all. It would be fine tho if my food was good. Spoiler alert! It wasn’t. The steak was burnt. They scraped the hard as hell rice into my burrito. The guacamole was brown. My tortilla wasn’t even cooked all the way!! It was disgusting. I was starving so I ate a third of it but couldn’t even finish. This will make great dog food for my puppy though. I feel like my soul has been sucked out of me after being in there just one of the most draining experiences of my life. And there was literally no one in the restaurant! So how are you running out of product when you have nothing to do?! Absolutely perplexing. 0mg now my stomach is starting to ache after eating that thing. Yeah don’t go here. Run!

This was my first time dining here or should I say attempting to dine here. I was shocked by how expensive everything on the menu was but I still decided to try it out. The restaurant was completely out of white rice two hours before closing and the little steak they did have looked charred and over cooked. I decided to pass on eating here. The friend I came with however, did order a burrito. She said the rice was hard, the meat was burnt, and that she didn’t know you could mess up a burrito. I will not be returning to Gorditos.

They are harsh and mirror my experience to a point; however, I didn’t think the food was that bad. Vindication is greatly appreciated and should lend credence to a lot of my reviews on this blog in the future.

Looks like I might be killing off another very below average establishment.

Johnnie Does

I’m back after a short hiatus and am doing restaurant reviews again. The promised chicken sandwich review is coming soon. In the meantime, last Thursday I visited a place not too far from my office. The review came about as I was going to visit Freebird’s (it’s a fast casual Chipotle style place) the Monday prior to Thanksgiving.

As I approached the store, a man was standing in front saying they were closed for remodeling and would re-open after Thanksgiving…odd. So I returned, and I noticed not much difference…the sign was gone, replaced by a hanging banner “Gorditos.”

I assumed this was a name change. An “open” neon sign was lit, apparently saying the shop was open for commerce. I entered the business and was shocked, chairs and tables stacked in a corner, and all Freebird’s signage gone. Actually it was somewhat eerie, no music, no signs, no vibe at all. Ambiance 0/5.

I was stunned to know they had been open a week already, there were 2 employees both clad in shirts saying “Gorditos” but you never would have known if they were seasoned employees or folks off the street.

Food: it’s the same as a Chipotle, but on steroids. They have several additional toppings, and at Freebird’s they made everything in house (more on this in a bit). They serve burritos, burrito bowls, nachos, tacos and quesadillas. I pushed my way down the line, and peered into the kitchen…everything is from a can! Literally, everything…from a can. The brand was First Street, a store brand sold by Smart and Final…I won’t knock this but most foodservice is handled by Sysco or US Foods, it just looked/felt forced; like a business whose franchisee walks away and a couple loyal workers were trying hard to keep things going. That being said my nachos were quite tasty, so 3.1/5.

Overall: A few things going on now here and we will kind of grade on a curve. The place had the ambiance of a morgue, and seemed thrown together. The story was the company was bought out and sold to a new investor. Makes sense because the name change seems odd. The prices were absolutely out of whack; $12.50 for a burrito is nuts, my nachos were $9 so it’s on the very high end for a lunch with no drink included. Those prices will not be well received. The place was empty and it’s very much a work in progress. Overall I give it 1.7/5, but I may do a follow up review in a few months.

Johnnie Does

I wanted to take a break from reviewing food joints for a bit to get my salt content back to a reasonable levels. Instead, I wanted to discuss a current event that occurred at a Panera Bread outlet and subsequently went viral. A young women “cook,” videoed herself taking a frozen packet of mac and cheese and placing it into a pot of boiling water….removing minutes later, plating it, and commenting “this is how we make mac and cheese at Panera.” The chef was terminated for making the video. Panera went full law office on this incident, basically saying they would need to add a bunch of preservatives to the mac if they made it fresh etc. etc. etc. This has been the talk of the town lately and for good reason, Panera Bread claims to be chemical free, and fresh-made in house… kinda. The number of people in disbelief is astounding. Allow me to explain.

No quick serve, fast food, fast casual, or chain restaurant does scratch cooking anymore. They haven’t in a decade or more. The reasons for this make a lot of sense if you stop and think about it. Jack in the Box had an E.coli scare, Chipotle same deal, I believe Burger King had a scare…those incidents cost major $$$. In a world where corporations report earnings every 90 days and consumers are very fickle with their hard earned dollars, this cannot happen! So a couple things happened, corporations innovated and found ways to cut a metric ton of costs and raise profit margins tenfold. They found ways to cook everything in a factory in a centralized environment. To be clear, it’s not cooked to doneness, it’s essentially flash cooked, and vacuum sealed, and frozen. Food is then shipped to the store in a convenient portion-sized baggie and all the kitchen staff has to do is drop it in a pot of boiling water… just like the girl at Panera.

This creates a “consistent customer experience” buzz words used all the time in business now. The portions are the same size, same doneness, and the same price, effectively removing any customer complaints about the food. Better yet it’s the same at every store. I have been to BJ’s Brewhouse locations in Elk Grove, Folsom, and in Southern California. The pizza I had at each was identical, down to the same number of pepperonis on each.

It works for the customer since they like the continuity, but it didn’t work out so great for the kitchen staff. The cook at a restaurant like that never made a ton of money, but since the food used to be fairly scratch made, the money was equal to a modest middle class salary. Now however, no more need for a chef or the salary that goes with it, actually the skilled kitchen staff were not needed either…all were let go. Let’s face it, you do not need a degree to drop fries in a fryer or place a bag in of boiling water, set a timer, and when it goes off, plate it according to a picture. The money saved on salary and preparing all food remotely amounts to millions annually.

Link: Panera Bread girl fired

Think about it; food borne illness risk is very low, the experience is the same across locations, and customers are fooled. It’s a “can’t lose” business model. Such businesses find it a lot easier to pay their kitchen staff to resuscitate frozen food and cut up some additions, to be added to soups and sides, to make them appear fresh. In all honesty, do you really think their kitchen is capable of cranking out that many different entrees at light speed? Have you seen a menu at one of these places lately? Fish, steaks, chicken, shrimp, pizza, salad, different soups, wow! How many cooks in the kitchen would be needed? My point is, this girl shared with the world what many have known for years, corporate profits and uniform customer experience are far more important than making a product from scratch.

Sorry to disappoint you but the 90 day guys have made quite a few people naïve on this. Notice nowhere here did I take a shot at food quality, I am just trying to bring to light the fact that your food isn’t being made in that kitchen. The typical restaurant kitchen is an assembly area enforcing the corporation’s standards of uniform food quality. Do take notice that the jobs that used to pay half decent have been exchanged for those not paying much above minimum wage. It used to be a resume enhancer to say you were a cook at Applebee’s or Chili’s; but not anymore. I would say be a server, at least the tips are nice.

Johnnie Does

PS the chicken sandwich challenge is on hold until Popeye’s finally gets their act together and starts making it again.