Category: Restaurant Reviews

Palermo has been around for forever in my hometown.  I never think about it when it comes to Italian food, even though I have been there 3 times prior.  It is a family-owned restaurant that clams to make Italian food from scratch.  Let’s get to the review!

Blogger Note: on this trip we were in a party of 5 and were seated at 7 pm in a mostly empty restaurant.

Ambiance:  It is a small, quaint restaurant, definitely an Italian  vibe.  Décor was pretty cool.  The owner was the host, he sat us.  He kissed each lady (2) on the hand and shook hands with the men (3).  I thought that was a little odd, my mother is a sucker for things like that, she loved the attention.  We were seated away from the other two occupied tables witch I liked; it could be more intimate.  The weird thing was the Spanish-like techno music being played from the speaker system above…odd.  4.5/5

Service:  Yikes.  We were seated and after about 9 minutes our server came by to announce the bread was in the oven baking fresh for us and walked away.  After about 7 more minutes, she returned to announce yet again the bread was baking fresh for us, and turned and left.  No chance to order drinks.  15 minutes in, and they have made $0 on a table of 5.  The bread finally came out and our server took our order, drinks and food.  While piping hot, the bread was definitely not made in house; it’s premade for certain.  It is the same exact bread served at most locations, you know the Dutch crunch looking bread.  Maybe he meant freshly delivered off the Sysco truck?  2.1/5

Food:  The menu is your typical Italian faire, pasta, salads, assorted proteins (chicken parm, veal, lamb etc.)  Also, your classic appetizers and desserts.  It is your basic Italian place.  The only surprising thing, no bruschetta on the menu. I have been warned by other Italian places that if bruschetta is not on the menu beware, it’s likely a “frozen food” place.  I decided on Penne Siracusa, it’s a penne pasta with sausage and vegetables.  My folks got the lasagna, the portion is big enough to serve 3-4, you cannot order a smaller amount.  Our company ordered their two dishes.  It took about 30 minutes (I am not going to mark down for this, as the vibe the place gave off was “do not be in a hurry, nothing is from a can”).  Our company’s dishes came out first.  Then…. Nothing for a solid 7 minutes.  Our dishes finally came out. This is a big deal to me, tells me your kitchen forgot about the other dishes, likely mine, and threw mine in the blast oven. After the food arrived, we were offered cheese. The owner’s wife had a bowl of parmesan and if you said, “yes,” she fired a spoonful onto your dish and asked “more?”.  This seemed odd, but oh well.  My dish? Sad looking.  Big time sad looking.  It was barely warm.  The pasta was so overcooked I could not stab it with my fork; I needed to essentially scoop it into my mouth.  The dish tasted like nothing, I mean it was flavor less.  The sausage amount was about ¼ of a dinner sausage sliced up, barely anything.  Make no mistake, this dish was not “scratch” made, it was sauce out of a can, and ingredients pre portioned out and bagged to be boiled later.  Tasteless and barely warm, if we didn’t have company I would have sent it back and said “no thanks” to a remake.  It was that bad.  Oh, the lasagna?  It’s cheap thrills.  Sure, it is huge, its 9 layers, it would look great on social media.  But again, it tasted like nothing. I had a small carving off one side and it is bland.  I would describe it as hospital food; it really has no taste.  Again, cheap thrills impress my folks, and yeah, this lasagna is Instagram worthy, but again zero taste.  One of the others in our party tried the lasagna and agreed with me, no taste.  0/5 yeah it was that bad.

Overall: I hate to hate on a family owned joint, I really do.  The restaurant is nice inside, I think the family does try to do its best.  I just think they are stuck in a different era, and the Italian food business has past them by.  The service missed badly, they had a chance at a second round of four drinks but passed. The bread was not worth waiting for, order drinks and let’s get going!  Kill that Spanish techno music, I have no clue what that is about.  Bring the food out all at once, get your timing down!  The lasagna is obviously premade, my dish was obviously out of a bag, the other dishes as well.  You made 3 people watch 2 people eat and then made 2 people watch 3 people eat.  Ouch.  1.5/5 Skip this place.

Johnnie Does

Oh, I never thought I would say this.  In my hometown, if you asked me for Italian rankings, I would go like this; (bottom to top) Old Spaghetti Factory, Olive Garden, Brickhouse.  I would slot this place below Old Spaghetti Factory, it really is that bad.  If you want to pay 5-star prices for 2-star food, be my guest.

Subway, the sandwich shop, is the largest franchise by store count.  I believe McDonalds is larger by revenue, but I digress.  Back in my college days in 2008, Subway was my go to when the cafeteria food was bad.  The sandwich was just that a sandwich, the cost was $5 as the 5-dollar footlong was running. 

Bloggers Note: by no means am I saying the $5 footlong promotion should still be going on.  $16.50 minimum wage in California, plus inflation, rent etc. makes it impossible to sling a sub for $5.

1.  Price.  First of all, Subway sandwiches (footlong) are about $15.  Subway is more of a value sandwich in my opinion; this is a premium price.  Jersey Mikes and Firehouse subs near me are similarly priced and far better quality.
2. Quality of product.  Boy this was stunning.  The meat was awful, the Chicken Bacon ranch sandwich didn’t have any taste, it was shredded chicken and bacon, how does it taste like nothing?  It seemed to me the 90-day guy types started sourcing the meat from Turkmenistan or Azerbaijan to save $.10 a pound. Some online reports claim some Subway products are not even really meat, based on how this tasted, the claim might have some credibility.
3. The vegetables were on their last days.  I am not a health inspector, nor do I play one on TV, but my goodness, the lettuce was browning, the tomatoes didn’t look great, and the onions looked odd.  Outside of the jalapenos and banana peppers it looked bad. The general impression was that the franchisee was too cheap to take a loss.
4. The amount of sauce, yikes!  Peppercorn ranch and baja chipotle.  There was enough that came out of the back of the sub on to the wrapper that could cover William and his Girl’s sandwich with some to spare.  Again, speaks to a low quality meat, you are trying to cover it up with loads of sauce.
5. No couponing.  This is a big one for me.  We have a lot of Subway’s near me, only 1 took the coupon online.  $6.99 footlong just the sandwich.  Yeah, the local store took it, but after, no dice.  It seems odd that of the about 9 local Subway’s, none took the coupon.  Odd.  They come in the mail, btw waste of advertising money by corporate.
6. Inject Jersey Mikes or Firehouse Subs right into my veins!

Johnnie Does

I am overseas for the next two months. In honor of the occasion, I will randomly be presenting reviews of stuff that I experienced. My goal is to inform people about what I’m up to without angering my family or others that think they know what’s best for my life.

First up, is The Big Taco.

The Big Taco has intrigued me since I learned that our old hangout, Good Burrito, closed a few months after my last visit. Both restaurants are located in Lapu Lapu City, Cebu, Philippines. Finding a Mexican themed restaurant on the Asian side of the Pacific is an interesting proposition. Generally, Mexican food is a safe bet for dining out, but does that hold true here?

I learned of The Big Taco via a search on the Internet and began to follow their Facebook page many months ago. I vowed to try it when I visit the area next time. The other night we took the long drive to get to that side of the Island.

The first thing that struck me was the operating hours. My recollection is that they are open from 7 AM to 1 AM. The restaurant is a small storefront. It could probably seat 16 to 18 people. Upon entering, we noticed that there were random shopping bags on one side of the room with a motorcycle helmet prominently protruding from one. There were two female workers in the place that acted as reception and seating. Some of the tables had dirty dishes on them and were in need of bussing. The table locations were random and scattered about. We were the only customers. The seats that we chose were wet. We learned later that was the result of condensation dripping from the roof. Music was playing on a big screen television in the restaurant. It was dance club themed stuff that I had never heard before. It was loud enough to cancel-out the noise of motorcycles driving up and down the busy street.

We were each brought two menus, one for food and the other for drinks. I picked what I thought was a variety of items on the menu; however, it was pick one of three entrée choices; Taco, Burrito, Quesadilla. Then two sides. Side choice number one was nachos or French fries. Side choice two was salsa or garlic sauce. I picked the burrito entrée and chicken for the meat. For the sides I ordered nachos and choice two was salsa. In addition, I bought one each of chicken, beef, and pork tacos. This was more food than we needed but I wanted a sample of what they had to offer.

Please note that after we were seated, nobody brought us any chips and salsa. Also, it was never offered to us. Our drinks were brought to the table before the food. I don’t recall ever being asked about any refills. Service was not really anything outstanding. The girls were more interested in watching music videos on YouTube; the same ones we got to watch at a high decibel level on the big screen.

The food arrived at the same time. The combo plate and then three plates, one for each taco. The combo plate was a burrito wrapped in foil that was neatly cut in half; also on the plate was a small quantity of chips circled around a cup of salsa. We never saw any nachos, only the chips and salsa we should have been served when we were seated.

Neither the burrito nor any of the tacos had anything resembling Mexica seasoning or spice. The meat was uniformly bland and overwhelmed with a stewed pinto bean concoction that overcame everything else. The taco was presented nicely, and the contents were pleasing to the eye. Also, strangely lacking was any cheese. Sorry kids, but spicy meat, cheese, lettuce, onion, and tomato are the centerpiece of the taco. Cilantro is also a good ingredient on tacos but it too was absent.  The tortilla was a nice sized one and easy to pick up, partially because it was not stuffed with much food.

We tried the burrito and then some of each of the tacos. My girlfriend, who loved the food at Good Burrito, said several times that she didn’t like the food at The Big Taco and that she never wanted to return. The pinto beans and associated juice simply overwhelmed everything else on the plate. The chips and salsa were good, the pinto beans on the burrito were ok since they didn’t use refried beans in anything we were served; however, it was a deal killer on the tacos.

Frankly, if they had just copied Del Taco’s food, it would have been better. The Big Taco makes the salsa bars in Elk Grove look like Michelin Star dining.

Per the Internet, there is a bar and karaoke area, but it is not attached to the dining area. It is a stairwell on the left-hand side of the restaurant entrance.

I would give The Big Taco two of five stars. Pinto beans are a side dish, especially for tacos, not a main ingredient of a taco.

Noticed the price of fast food lately?  Wonder why it is so expensive?  Wonder what happened to portion sizes?  Wonder why Chili’s and Applebee’s can sling a cheaper meal and they are full service?

Well strap in, it’s going to be a rough ride!

While this blog is mostly based out of California, I am sure in your local town that you have noticed similar issues.

Quick history lesson, about 2 years ago the People’s Republic of California agreed to raise the minimum wage for fast food workers to $20 an hour.  Keep in mind the minimum wage for other workers is currently $16.50 per hour.  Fast food is hard to define in a sense, I would say any quick service restaurant with the large portion of their locations having a drive thru.  I say large portion because we have 1 Chipotle and 2 Panda Express stores that have drive thru’s but the lion’s share of them do not. 

This caused some issues for both types of stores; fast food and fast/casual eateries.  First of all, most fast/casual think Chipotle and Chili’s types likely didn’t start at $20 an hour, their fast-food counterparts did.  So, they had to work through some staffing issues. 

Now a couple of years later, we can see where the carnage from this law is laid.

I am checking the KFC website right now, and an 8-piece bucket, no sides or beverage is running $25.  Actually $24.59 but I digress.  My colleague and I used a coupon where the same 8-piece bucket is $13.99.  As you can see it’s now quite expensive, oh and the pieces of chicken are small, I could have knocked off all 8 on my own. 

(Editor’s Note: occasionally, KFC coupon prices on their bulk mail fliers are actually more than the regular price they charge at their store.)

Let us compare KFC to the Chili’s located just down the road from my office.  Here at Chili’s, they are willing to do a burger, fries, soda, and either a salad or chips and salsa for $11.  Chili’s is a sit-down place, so I know tax and tip will be added but it’s a far cry from KFC.  Oh, the chips and salsa are bottomless and they even insisted I leave with a bagof chips and a pint of salsa!  Oh, Red Robin has a similar deal of a burger, soda, and unlimited fries.  Again, it’s a sit-down place.  No coupon required by the way!

So how can Chili’s/Red Robin do it you ask?  Their stores are bigger, have a full kitchen. and lot’s of waitstaff!

Several factors actually. 

First, fast-food places do not serve alcohol, this is a huge advantage as chances to upsell a more expensive drink add a massive advantage!  Your typical alcoholic beverage is $10 give or take, so in essence your ticket doubled.  Bringing to point #2.  The longer you linger in the booth, the more dessert starts to look good.  Ah, now let us add the chocolate brownie at about $9.  Your lunch just became $30.  But I digress, as most likely do not do this!  #3 is the menu is far more complex at the sit-down restaurant.  Sure, you went in there for the loss leader, but you spied that steak, or pile of nachos that look better.  Well, that’s not part of the meal deal and thus more expensive ticket.

At fast food, the upsell chances are minimal.  Sure, offer me the meal deal of fries and a coke for an extra $7, not going to happen when you want $25 for 8 pieces chicken.  At that price, I’m washing it down with water from the tap.  The other massive disadvantage is fast food is supposed to be… well fast.  I do not want to linger in the drive thru, get me my meal so I can get back on the road.  This is another issue as we waited nearly 12 minutes at KFC to get our order in the drive thru.  Fast is key, whereas at Chilis I am not in a big hurry.

Fast food, having to be offered as cheap as possible, is another way they are behind the eight ball.  As a result, they must walk a fine line on who they hire/how many they hire, again fast food is supposed to be cheap!  Quality of product, as I mentioned, the pieces of chicken resembled a pigeon more than a chicken.  Wendy’s has since switched to cheap shredded lettuce rather than leaf lettuce.  Most places charge for sauces now.  Last time I was at Burger King, my Whopper was gray, it almost appeared boiled or microwaved.  It didn’t taste like much.  Oh, and the Whopper, fries, and drink “meal” was about $18.

In business school they teach you, quality, price, service…. Pick 2/3.  As it’s impossible to hit on all 3.  The problem here is, they have now made it very hard to hit on even 1.  $18 for a meal deal is a ton of money…. Oh, and in my opinion, horrific quality to boot.  $25 for 8 pieces chicken that really cannot even be shared by 2 is bad as well.  Fast food used to be an asset, a light and quick way, to sling a meal on the cheap.  It’s the opposite now.  Our Governor and the older generation of bleeding hearts, want fast food to be a career, as such, the food is priced how it is.  Oh, and the minimum wage for fast food went up to, I believe, $20.70, so your meal just got more expensive.  As such, the operators have tried to hold the line on price, but have resorted to cheap quality food, or very slow service.

It will not get better, actually it’s gotten far worse.

Wendy’s recently announced the closure of 350 stores this coming year.  Jack in the Box closing 150-200.  The carnage has started. They simply cannot compete.  If you supported the fast-food minimum wage hike and relied on them for your food to boot, you reap what you sow!

Johnnie Does

On the Hook is a traveling food truck that has been stopping here about once a month. Based on their phone number’s area code, they are based out of Wyoming. Oh, on the side of their vehicle it says, “Truck 26”. I’m sure your first thought when you think Wyoming is fresh cod fish, but not mine. I’m thinking of fossils and cowboys.

Anyway, I caught up with them yesterday. Last time they were in town, I went to Super1 Grocery, but they were nowhere to be found. Yesterday, they were in the parking lot of Grocery Outlet.

Their vehicle was larger than most food trucks that I have frequented. I saw at least three people working inside. There easily could have been another person or two in it.

The menu was basic and designed for production. Fish and chips with a few add-ons.

I bought fish and chips with added coleslaw. With the tip, I was out just over $26. I waited about 12 to 15 minutes for the order. Oh, waiting outside in 39-degree weather without a jacket was cold to say the least.

When my name was called, I was given a box with the order of fish and chips and a small round container with coleslaw. I asked for a fork for the coleslaw and two minutes later I was given one. I also was not given any napkins.

I took everything back to my car to eat it. In the car I had a good supply of napkins, hand wipes, my drink which I brought from home, and climate control (i.e. heater).

The box contained three long fish sticks, fries, two containers of tartar sauce with On the Hook branding and about 7 catsup packets. The coleslaw was dry veggies and a small container of oriental style dressing in the round container. The packaging was nice looking, but I really wanted the traditional white dressing for the coleslaw.

On the Hook makes no claim that their fish is fresh. I think it is frozen (they claim flash frozen) and then thawed as needed. The batter seemed to be done in the truck. Their French fries are what I call the composite ones. They have a texture like they were molded from potato parts, not whole fresh potatoes.

The fish sticks tasted fine. My third one was kind of smashed. It had marks from the fry basket on it. I think it was on the bottom and got smashed by the rest of the load in the cooking basket. The batter was not raised as much as the other two pieces of fish. The batter on it was OK and not too oily. It reminded me of the batter that Porky D’s used on their deep-fried mushrooms.

The French fries were good. I would rather have had steak fries made of actual chunks of potato.

It was a lot of food for one person. If I had one more fish stick, it would be enough for two people. My advice is to buy an extra stick of fish and split the fish and chips meal with a friend. Take a pass on the coleslaw because it’s not served in the traditional way.

The price is higher than other places here in town. The quality was generally good. It’s too expensive for a solo meal but great for an outing with a friend. If I did buy a side next time, I would probably try the clam chowder.

With Covid now in the rearview mirror (except for some). the food/meal reviews are back. 

I came across this “Old El Paso” Stacked Queso crunch kit at my local grocer.  It was on the “closeout rack” marked down to $2.  I bought it for a couple reasons. First, I was going to cook tacos and secondly, I had no shells or taco dirt (aka the spices) so I decided what the heck.

The taco kit contains, 6 soft taco shells, 6 hard taco shells, a packet of taco dirt, and a packet of nacho cheese sauce.  The point of this kit is to essentially to make a hard shell taco (you must buy the meat, and fixings) and then put the nacho cheese on the soft shell and wrap it around the hard taco.  The hard shells are flavored with nacho cheese dust, quite similar to the Taco Bell Doritos Nacho Cheese Loco Taco.  I cooked the meat, seasoned it with the dirt, got my fixings ready, and made a few of these for myself. 

Honest assessment?  Not great, ok at very best.  The nacho cheese sauce was a garden variety high school basketball/football game melted plastic type cheese.  There were some pepper flakes in it, so it had a vest.  The soft shell was fine.  The taco dirt was your garden variety dirt, nothing special.  The hard shell was an odd choice.  The shells have a flat bottom so you can “stand and stuff them” a nice change from the old, you have to hold it and stuff it, but the flavoring was odd.  I would describe this meal as eating nachos but with nacho cheese Doritos instead of tortilla chips.  2.5/5

Price point:  $2 is a steal, I went back to the scene of the sale and found the item on the shelf a week later (likely this had to do with expiration dates) retailing for $6.99.  Yikes.  Based on $2 4.7/5.  Full retail? Even a Biden voter would say this economy is causing these shells to be a rip off.  Seriously?  12 taco shells, a package of taco dirt and nacho cheese for $7?  That’s whack.  Hell, a pound of ground beef cost me just $3.

Aftermath: This was not great.  I ate the entirety of the shells.  They were not large, think basically fast-food sized tacos.  The meat, fixings, and shredded cheese were not an issue.  The nacho cheese and hard taco chemical shell caused some issues.  Let’s just say I haven’t seen a blow out that bad since Tampa Bay played the Raiders in a Super Bowl about 20 years ago.  The processed cheese product and the hard shells I would definitely pass on in the future.

Johnnie Does

PS I was able to report back to my doctor that I am able to delay my colonoscopy another year because this taco kit cleaned everything out down there. If you’ve ever considered a cleansing routine and like mildly spicey food this may just be your ticket to better health.

Friday night, Johnnie Does and a male friend (both are straight) got together to share a meal and get caught up on recent happenings in our lives. We decided to break bread at the Macaroni Grill. I use the straight term as my co-worker made a comment that Macaroni Grill is an odd option for a couple of fellas to grab dinner.  He wasn’t wrong.  Some background on Macaroni Grill, it’s an Italian chain that is a rival with Olive Garden.  It offers typical Italian faire, here is the review and my commentary.

Ambiance:  It has a cool, wine cellar/Italian castle vibe to it.  It’s a dark place, but that’s ok. It seems like a “take a girl out on a date prior to prom place.”  They place a white piece of butcher paper over the table to simulate a white tablecloth dining experience, this was cool.  For a typical table, if you ordered wine, they draw a glass on your table, and after placing the wine on the table, you keep track of your glasses.  I would give it a 6.5/10 as our table had no butcher paper and while the place was basically empty it seemed we were an afterthought.  At 7:30 mind you, closing time is 9.

Food:  As I mentioned, its classic Italian faire; pasta, fish, steak, ravioli and the like.  The chain 86’d its pizza during Covid for who knows what reason as they have a fired pizza oven in the kitchen.  We both had create your own pasta, you get a choice of noodles, sauce, you pick 3 veggie/type toppings, and meat if you would like it.  You also get a loaf of “peasant bread” and oil and balsamic to dip it in.  Overall, I give the food selection 6.1/10.

Overall:  It’s a chain, and I have blistering commentary at the bottom here.  The open concept kitchen was cool, the décor was nice, but the menu was just ok.  It’s a typical chain, and as I mentioned, it’s a “take your date there prior to the dance” place.  6.3/10.

Scalding hot-take commentary:  Your experience may vary, but mine was bizarre.  The hostess seemed more interested in texting on her phone than trying to seat us.  We were seated at a barely made-up table.  Our waiter seemed pretty off, like maybe he had a hit or two on the devil’s lettuce during his break.  We placed our order, and he almost immediately came back with our food, like disturbingly quickly.  My friend’s order was perfect, mine was served sans meatballs.  When I made comment, I was told they are there.  Okay, I guess I’ll dig around.  When I confirmed their absence, the waiter ran the whole plate back to the kitchen to have the applicable 4 meat balls tossed on the plate.  Not a big deal, but I mean where is the quality control?  Also, no offer of parmesan cheese!? I figured the waiter likely forgot, or got the munchies and ate it all.  Also, there was a wild move with an employee walking around serenading every single table.  I would have had him more like a “for hire” guy because he just kept walking around the store.  Kind bizarre actually, like you could serenade a table for tips, but oh well.  Oh, and in addition, at the top of the bill, a $2 inflation fee?  F*** outta here!  Make Biden pay it, his dementia laden a** caused this.  The only thing I want to see inflated are Jen Aniston’s tots……okay that’s it, Troll. Quit photo bombing my post.

It’s not fair, but Macaroni Grill is in a lot of trouble as a chain, they only have 41 locations left nation-wide.  They challenged Olive Garden mocking their unlimited salad in an ad, but yikes.  The chain has been sold more times than Troll changes his underwear.  Most recently, in 2015 Red Rock Capital bought the whole chain for 8 million.  The chain filed for BK protection in 2017 and is struggling badly today.  If you have a gift card, use it.

Final note:  I did describe this place to the Blog Father as a poor man’s Olive Garden but it costs more.

Avoid.

Johnnie Does

We are back, Covid is declared over….er I mean Putin invaded Ukraine.  But anyways here we go with food reviews again!  Blog Father tripled our salary so we will get these more often.

A new place opened in Elk Grove near the Costco called “Nick the Greek” we love Greek people and Greek food on this blog so here we go.

Ambiance:  It’s a typical fast casual (order at counter, be seated, food brought to you place).  Lots of décor and an outdoor eating area.  Its new, and trendy, but very small.  Think like a Chipotle but smaller.  You can watch the cook crew make/assemble the meals.  Overall, it’s a cool concept 7.2/10

Food:  Typical Greek faire, Gyros, kabobs, souvlaki, bowls, and sides.  Basically, it reminded me of Ariana’s.  I went with the chicken gyro pita, fries and a coke.  This meal sets you back about $15.  The fries I chose were the regular fries, they came with sea salt and herbs.  You also could choose Greek fries, which include feta cheese, or Nick’s fries which include meat, garlic and spicy yogurt.   The chicken gyro pita was solid, it was quite large, and I got a very generous portion of chicken.  I also thought the fries were a generous portion.  A patron next to me got a chicken kabob plate over rice, which I also thought looked great.  Call it 8.7/10.

Overall:  It’s a small regional chain. I learned that they have shops in Roseville and Davis among other locations.  I hope they make it and wish them well.  They were very busy since it was opening weekend, and they had quite a crew working there.  The owner was greeting folks at the door and explaining the menu, I thought this is a needed touchpoint.  Some folks are not as cultured as others and if the menu’s not familiar to them it could cause confusion and a back-up at the order kiosk.  Solid 8.3/10.  We will be back.

Johnnie Does

We are back in business!  Folks we had to wait an agonizing few days prior to our benevolent king Gavin Newsom reopening the state, but we are back to doing restaurant reviews. 

Ambiance:  Hungry Pecker opened about 9 months or so ago “allegedly” since all bars were ordered closed by King Newsom.  The place is an old warehouse I think they used to refurbish hot tubs out of it.  However, it was very nice inside, they had a few seating tables, a high-top bar area, and a separate room where the beer making process is located.  They also had ample outdoor seating.  This seems like a cool place to grab a cold one with the fellas after work.  While the outside could use a little fixing up, I call it a work in progress, and I give a slight pass.  4.3/5

Drinks:  They had about 8 beers on tap, with typical varying alcohol amounts.  A couple took the names of local streets in Elk Grove.  I tried, I believe it was called the Porto Rosa Porter, it’s about 8% alcohol and it was quite good. 

Johnnie Does Sr. had a light beer, he felt the same, even ordering a second.  I would give it a 4.5. Just a note, I am not a drinker, basically gave it up years ago, I’ll have a cold one with my father every so often, but I choose to “hoof it home” as the kids say.

Overall: It’s a cool local joint, has some potential… quite a bit actually.  I would argue between this joint, Waterman Brewing Company, Tilted Mash, and Flatland–just to name a few–my home zip code is more than covered with local brew pubs.  I seriously would wonder about cannibalization.

My overall grade will look bad, and this is not the intention, but man a couple things need to get cleaned up here…. badly…..and pronto.  First, the bartender gal (likely owners’ daughter, wife) had a “what do you want” attitude rather than a “welcome in” one.  This was largely off putting, and she couldn’t be bothered to explain the drinks to us.  We only asked about which beers are lighter vs darker.  She served us and pointed to a couple tables over yonder.  She came by later to check on us and lamented the very sparse crowd for a Saturday at 6pm.  She said they had tried everything, axe throwing, corn hole, and even have BBQ here every Saturday, nothing has been working.  Might be due to having no atmosphere and very little in the way of customer experiences.  In many ways this reminded me of a fundraiser bar for a crab feed.  What do you want?  Ok, here ya go.  NEXT!  1.5/5  Gotta get this turned around quickly.

Bonus Review: JP B QUE located in the Hungry Pecker as a food option.  It’s an Indy BBQ guy, who judging by his size, looks like he loves his own cooking.  He had menus out on the tables and had a buffet type set up outside.  I was actually looking for some decent BBQ. Had a taste for it.  There was no BBQ, smoker, or grill anywhere to be found.  Odd, since, well half the experience is the smell trying to draw you in or make you crave BBQ.  Weirder yet as the owner walked to the restroom right near us; he said under his breath “Its leftover from an event earlier today”.  Yikes 0/5 avoid this place like the black plague!  This is not a surprise as most “mobile” operations do this, rather than cook fresh they offer to re-heat after taking the leftovers from another gathering.  This is a dangerous practice, first it was quite hot outside, and the pans were half covered.  This causes very serious food borne illness bacteria to form.  As much as I hate to say this, JP B Que will never get another look from this reviewer.  Quite frankly I do not think the owner fully understood what he was doing. He could get folks extremely sick.

Full disclosure:  I have seen a smoker out there on the patio before, not sure why he changed it up this day.  But Yikes.

Johnnie Does

P.S. I saw the attempted clean shot by the “Troll” calling me a waste of time and resources on this news site, well let me fire a clean shot at him.  Dear Troll: maybe Jake the Snake would like to discuss “Thou shalt not commit adultery” with you, as you seem to love a married woman, Carli Lloyd.  Stick to what you do best; namely, ogling celebrities in your basement and cranking out 1 blog a month when your mom’s not home.