Johnnie Does Applebee’s

I know what you’re thinking, chain restaurant? Has Johnnie gone soft on us? He literally put a store out of business…. rest in peace Side Burn BBQ. However, we saw a commercial for loaded queso fajitas and were intrigued. We found a $5 off coupon in a local newspaper, which conveniently doubles as flooring for a pet’s cage! Here is the review.

Ambiance: It’s a chain so it’s hard to quantify it, but no hostess during the height of lunch hour is a bad look. I seated myself at the high-top table near the bar and was predictably ignored by the wait staff and bartender (it’s her serving area) for about 15 minutes. They had very loud music blaring on the sound system which didn’t make for the greatest experience but at last I was helped. I ordered the loaded queso shrimp fajitas, and a water. The waitress informed me she was also the manager; I respect the hustle and won’t downgrade too many points here. Nevertheless, prior to helping me, she was seated at the bar eating lunch…. whoa that’s weird! Why are employees eating at the peak time that they should be waiting on customers? Well, like the Col Sanders ad or any hands-on manager you see on T.V., at least she eats the food produced in her kitchen! Generally, the place seemed very disorganized, with patrons approaching any crew member to ask if they could cash them out, or place and order etc. Possibly the worst and making it a lower grade was a crew member (female) bent over to pick up food scraps near the bar revealing, well let’s just say the secret is no more, Victoria! 3.2/5 on the ambiance, not bad for a chain, but man they need some work.

Menu: Again, it’s a chain so they serve a little bit of everything, burgers, steaks, fish, apps, chicken, it runs the gamut. After finally placing my order, I’m waiting about 10 minutes to score the fajitas. I’m hoping they were worth it. They came out of the kitchen piping hot very similar to a Chevy’s. They did not disappoint!

Loaded queso shrimp fajitas

A large sizzling plate with Spanish rice, peppers, onions, a bunch of shrimp, cilantro and a separate plate with 3 tortillas (not enough) pico de gallo, and cheese, accompanied by some guacamole that Johnnie is heavily allergic to, and asked to BE LEFT OFF!!!!! However, this was awesome! I felt it was a very good deal at $11 after the coupon, but its normally $16 and for lunch that hits a high price point, again understanding it’s a franchise store and increased labor costs, I’d say it’s a solid 4.2/5

Overall: Again it’s a chain, so it is what it is, I don’t know if I would take a date their but it’s a decent place, and at the end of the day it’s like any other place; you know what you’re getting and that is saying something. It has its flaws, but at least they don’t season with Franks Red Hot. 3.7/5. I got my check paid and handed over said coupon. It took about 10 minutes to get a manager to override the system to accept it, so it was like paying with EBT at a local store for food…. oh well.

Johnnie Does

Johnnie Does: Ariana

Before you ask, get your mind out of the gutter. Ariana’s is the name of a family owned Mediterranean food joint, located on Center Parkway near United Artist theatres. It’s very similar to Sal’s which we tried about 3 weeks ago. Seems Johnnie is on a Mediterranean kick. Everyone loves a little competition, and Johnnie knew he had to check this joint out.

Ariana Gyros & Kabobs
8785 Center Pkwy Ste B160, Sacramento

Ambiance: Again, it’s a kind of fast casual vibe, you order at the counter, they also sell spices by the jar…kinda cool touch. They have a sign saying they prefer cash, understandable, but it gives off a non-sales tax paying vibe as no receipt was given even when requested. They recently re-decorated the place and it looked great. Nice Greek/Afghan feel with pleasant booths, tables, and they had a refrigerated unit holding extra sauces and spices that was self-serve. I felt welcomed and the place had a nice crowd for lunch. 4.2/5.

Menu: Pretty much verbatim of Sal’s: gyros, kabob plate, bowls, great selection. Oh, prices were cheaper than Sal’s. I went with a spicy chicken gyro bowl.

Ariana spicy chicken gyro bowl

As seen in the photo it had a generous portion of chicken, basmati rice, lettuce, onion, tomato, cucumber, and homemade tzatziki sauce on it, served in a porcelain bowl. Wow, what a bowl, ton of food under $10. The spice was right on point, it was the definition of awesome. 4.7/5 (Blogger note: a new discovered item revealed later.)

Overall: Can’t go wrong here. Ariana’s is a family owned joint, well kept, great food. I was going to go 4.5 overall. But then I got hit with this dump. Another customer asked what spices they used to spice the “spicy” chicken……they said Frank’s Redhot. Yeah like this very bottle that I keep in my very Anglo kitchen.

Frank’s Redhot photo from Johnnie’s Anglo kitchen

So, you have no legitimate spices? I have to wonder if the homemade Tzatziki is from a bottle too? The rice? The lettuce? Get outta here, you frauds! No wonder the kitchen is hidden and serving sizes are plentiful! 0.0/5

Take a lap! No one pulls the wool over Johnnie Does…. Why do you serve up fraud food!

Johnnie Does


Editor’s Note: I’ve never seen Johnnie so down on a restaurant, ever the ones driven out of business by his reviews. (Yes, that really happened.) Apparently, the Redhot in question is not the candy sold in my youth nor the busty Irish girl in the other high school math class, but the offending item is an off the shelf sauce from his local Walmart. Johnnie, my friend, you did say this was a family restaurant and you’re mad they use family ingredients? Have you considered that you were stepping out to try to spice up your life and then learned that the spice you really needed and desired was at home all along?

Editors Note 09/16/2019: Johnnie Does has revisited Ariana’s. His new review is here.

Johnnie Does Yard House

I visited a fairly new establishment downtown about a month back, it is called Yard House.

First some background, Yard House was bought by Darden Restaurants (owner of Oliver Garden, Longhorn Steaks etc.) back in 2012 as a small regional chain in the Northeast and has been expanding ever since. Yard House is an American sports bar type establishment, and has a claim to fame of offering over 100 beers on tap at all its locations. I decided to check it out, what follows is my review.

Ambiance: Yard House is very similar to BJ’s Restaurant and Brew House in a sense they are both large open air establishments. Yard House has very tall beer glasses almost appearing like a bong on its doors…more on this later. There is a very large bar area, very large seating area, featuring booths and tables as well as a fairly large sized outdoor patio, covered and with ample heat lamps. The restaurant was fairly dark, not sure if it was because it was late (8 pm) or if this is done to set a mood. Hundreds of TV’s donned the walls in various corners of the store, all were set to music videos, and the accompanying music was being piped in via a surround system…it was a little loud. I assume if a game was on, or football Sunday, this place would be rocking. They had all kinds of random pictures on the walls, it is definitely a place one could hang out while sampling all 100 beers. 4.5/5; half a point deducted for having a picture of “The Chief” on the wall, apparently they wanted The Chief to do the food review not Johnnie Does!

Yard House wall features a likeness of “The Chief”

Food: Yard House has a menu that rivals Cheesecake Factory or BJ’s. In a sense, there is definitely something for everyone; however, I also view this as a downfall. The menu basically was typical bar food like fried mac n cheese or nachos, to regular items like burgers, wings and pizza to high end items like steak, salmon, and sea food pasta. While I am sure this works great as far as something for everyone, it is very intimidating, and how many people instead of “trading up” for an expensive dish, decide to “trade down” for cheaper dishes? The wings were great, and my burger was perfect; however, the mac n cheese sticks were cold. I think this is due to the extensive menu and trying to have cooks make all of said food. 4.2/5

Yard House serving beer your way

Drinks: I tried 3 beers–they have a sampler platter you can buy for a nominal fee; that essentially amounts to wine tasting. I liked this since it’s hard to find something you like off a list of over 100 beers. I found one I liked and ordered a half yard….it’s the same size glass donning the doors on your way in!

Yard House beer bong

A large amount of beer and while I finished it, I did not need 1 more that is for sure. Great selection, cool glasses, I would say 5/5.

Overall: The service was awesome; I really liked the beer selection, and cool ambiance of the place. Only couple quibbles I have are the extensive menu, which I think hurts food quality control, and stock keeping must be a doozy, and the place just seems too similar to other restaurant’s in the same competing space. I found it very similar to a BJ’s or Cheesecake Factory or Buffalo Wild Wings and the lack of differentiation makes it a place that can get “lost in the shuffle of other chains” such as Applebee’s, Chili’s, Outback or Friday’s. I just wish there was something different that made me want to return. That being said 4.5/5

I would most definitely return.