Category: Interesting

By Troll

Quarantine cannot and will not stop me from trolling…well maybe when the police forcibly remove my camp from under a local overpass, but anyways here we go!!!!!!

Christy Smith concedes special election to Mike Garcia:

Instead of preparing for a new job in congress, Democratic Assemblymember Christy Smith is going back to work in Sacramento. Her political opponent, former Navy pilot Mike Garcia, is poised to be the first Republican to flip a Democratic House seat in California since 1998.

Democrat Christy Smith Concedes, Republican Mike Garcia Captures Historic Win For GOP In Katie Hill’s Former District

There you have it folks two good old American names facing off for a congressional seat. I for one was shocked when I found Smith listed her occupation as “Assemblyman” and Garcia as Navy Fighter Pilot…I figured with names like those, they worked at a local diner. Congrats to Garcia for winning, but I’m very disappointed in Smith for conceding early. Reports said a local ACE Hardware got an online pick up order from “LA DEM PARTY” for a chisel drill bit, to be used to ensure Smith’s victory. Problem for the Democrat Party is they hired Jorge “The Drunken Jedi” Riley to pick the drill bit up, and sadly he saw an open watering hole on his trek and as is his custom, his car stopped automatically. Riley never made it to ACE and as a result, the following day Smith cancelled, notice the state and national party are still holding out hope Riley finds the ACE as they have not given up yet.

Lamar Alexander (R-TN) doesn’t want the Senate to re-convene due to Corona concerns: Good lord this clown was Governor when The Troll was birthed in Knoxville, TN, the best state in America. By the way, little trivia…. Did you know Tennessee’s state flag, the 3 stars….what do they represent? Tennessee was the third state to join the Confederacy.

But now back to Alexander……. You dumb dumb, you really need to take a dirt nap. So you force folks who work at Wally World, grocery stores, pharmacies, slaughter houses, and auto makers forced to make ventilators…yet this jackhole doesn’t want to report to work because he is scared of the ‘rona? Folks are barely clinging to what possessions they own, let alone guns and religion, trying to make ends meet, and you refuse to take a pay cut or even show up to work! Yeah, this clown is getting a full salary while sheltering in place instead of doing his job. He’s just more swamp trash that needs to be taken to the local landfill. Other folks are scared of this disease too you low life, seriously you can’t retire soon enough for my liking. During a cursory look at your work history, you love suppin’ at the public trough…congrats; while us working folks pay your salary, you refuse to come out of your ivory tower. I hate to break it to you, but under the Constitution, a document I doubt you have ever read, says your job is essential. You are a check on the President and Judiciary you moron. Classless scum you are.

Deandre Baker and Quinton Dunbar (NFL) arrested in Florida for armed robbery: Ummm, well I have to blame Trump for this, it has to be his fault right? Seriously like shouldn’t the NFL be practicing right now? Dunbar is charged with 4 counts of various armed robbery offenses, Baker with 8, both have refused to turn themselves in; however, both have hired attorneys who claim their client is innocent.

Two NFL players — including a 2019 1st round draft pick — have been accused of armed robbery and arrest warrants have been issued, TMZ Sports has learned.

Law enforcement confirms NY Giants cornerback Deandre Baker (the 30th overall pick in 2019) is facing 4 charges of armed robbery and 4 charges of aggravated assault with a firearm.

Seattle Seahawks corner Quinton Dunbar is facing 4 counts of armed robbery.

NFL PLAYERS ACCUSED OF ARMED ROBBERY… Arrest Warrants Issued

Well my god it’s a miracle…if neither of them did the deed, then who did? I cannot believe these two young men find themselves in such a tough spot; even with a police report saying “they dun’ it.” Their attorneys find themselves in the unique position of defending clients who claim they didn’t do it and actually have enough money to pay them…at least for now. Baker was a first round pick in 2019, so he is likely to forfeit about 30 million, since NFL contracts are not guaranteed, but he is still dumb as hell. Like I said, I blame all of this on the lockdown, and because both are black, it must be Trump’s fault. Don’t believe me? Apparently, many a governor is studying why this disease affects blacks more than whites…your honor I submit this as exhibit 1000 to impeach Trump. Between this, Russia, Ukraine, the sexual assaults, and Covid-19 deaths, something has to be done, just ignore the party of compassion when they encourage confiscating semi-automatic weapons and yet continually threaten to shoot the Orange Man.

We will be back soon for more trolling, got to move camp as the local PD has just shown up. But I will leave you with a new flame for Troll. Yes, Aniston is too old, and at 50 the baby making days are over, as far as Hope Hicks goes she has not responded to my hourly Twitter direct messages, so I present to you, Paige Spiranac, a great women’s golfer who let’s just say I would love to lay up on her hills.

The Troll

I am back…. I self-quarantined with photos of Hope Hicks and microwaveable frozen foods during these troubling times. Thankfully, I was able to avoid catching Covid-19 at my local place of worship. Oh, and by the way “Pope Francis” why were you so scared of this virus transmitting that you cancelled church? Did it occur to you during your ritual of Communion (I would call it a rite, but you took the rights of Catholics away to receive communion) you refer to the wine as “The blood of Christ” as in we drink his blood? Anyways here we go…….

Two inmates released early from jail re-arrested: Color me shocked! Shocked! You mean to say violent folks deemed a threat to society when released early may commit another crime? Maybe we need Harvard or Yale to commence a study on this. I am sure this is a setup, look at how nice these folks look!

Rocky Lee Music, 32, walked out of Santa Rita Jail in Dublin at around 8pm on Sunday. Before 9pm, he had allegedly carjacked a motorist and was hauled off back to jail.

Oh, and what exactly is a Rocky Lee Music, I find that hard to believe that was a given name.

Fake Meat now on the Menu at many Chinese Restaurants:

On Wednesday, Beyond Meat started selling its plant-based food in China through thousands of Starbucks cafes.

Fast-food chain KFC said it will also start trialing fake chicken nuggets from next week.

Well I know at one point they needed 5,000 urns in Wuhan Province alone for the dead, I guess the wet markets had left over “human byproducts to process.” This is the key to a good fake meat because honestly who knows what that stuff is supposed to taste like. We all know Soylent Green is people, but now we know from where.

Lysol Parent Company urges folks not to inject their products: As much as I want to say this was satire, it actually happened via a press release, but in a world where young people eat Tide Pods, and huff spray paint or glue, and aquarium chemicals, I guess you better get out in front of it. The release tries to blame Trump; however, I can’t see many of Trump’s supporters being so stupid, the Bernie folks however……

Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer creates a COVID-19 Task Force: Its sole purpose is to look into why so many minorities are dying of Corona. Yeah, I’m just glad this reasonable person is worried about her constituent’s well-being. The most salient issue of this virus is why it kills black and brown people yet ignoring that those 2 demographics are people who tend to smoke/drink to excess. But I’m sure this mission critical committee will tie this to Trump. I can see the headline now “Trump diet of Filet O’Fish and Big Macs, caused him to fart out COVID-19, and it mutated to kill minorities since Trump hates them so much.

An Australian physician recently addressed the concern that farts could theoretically spread COVID-19 by propelling minute particles of coronavirus-infected feces ? like the way a cough can spread droplets containing the virus.

Dr. Norman Swan recommended during a podcast for the Australian Broadcasting Corp. that citizens shouldn’t fart “close to other people” or “with your bottom bare.”

Stephen Colbert Has A Gas With Doctor’s Warning On Farts Spreading Coronavirus

Heiress to “Hot Pockets” wants to serve jail sentence at home: She is supposed to serve 5 months in jail, likely to be let out in 3, apparently other folks in jail have tested positive and she, living a life of privilege, feels she doesn’t have to play by the rules. Sorry Toots, every time I bought “Hot Pockets” half off as a young lad, I always paid full price in the morning. As far as I am concerned, Corona is a fair punishment for the price your customers paid. Janav’s paid Rick Singer (college admissions scandal) a hefty fee to make her daughter seem like a beach volleyball recruit….so apparently her daughter’s resume was as fake as the meat in said Hot Pockets!!!!

AOC only Democrat to vote against COVID-19 relief package: How does that song go…”and the waitress is practicing politics, and the bartender slowly gets stoned???” I think either can describe AOC and sometimes she may even do both at the same time and hallucinate herself. That is one dumb broad.

Colin Kaepernick pledges 100,000 to aid Black and Brown Communities during Coronavirus: Maybe he would be a good fit on Governor Whitmer’s committee? Why do I have a feeling if a white person donated 100k to help the white community it wouldn’t go over as well?

Land O’Lakes removes Indian Girl from Packaging: Let me guess, the White people kept the land!!!!! This is unreal! An outrage! Fear not fellow readers I’ve spoken to “The Chief Blogger” and his people plan to build an Indian Casino on that land!

Since Lent is over, more Hope Hicks for you all to see!!!!!

Troll

Johnnie Does
Johnnie Does has been left to run the office by himself. His boss is over 60 and is totally freaked-out after watching wall-to-wall coverage of the end of the world in real time. As a respite, his boss has decided to flee the office and seek refuge on the links of his favorite golf course; thus living life 18 holes at a time. His boss thinks this is his best chance to ride out the Corona Virus outbreak and remain married. The reason golf is a logical choice is that the foursomes have agreed to space their balls at least six feet from each other thus upholding social distancing while allowing commerce to be conducted as gentlemen should (less the handshake anyway). As a concession to the unwashed massed, players have agreed to celebrate the 19th hole away from the Club House.

Troll
Troll is completely unaffected by the current crisis. He is a gamer living in his parent’s basement. Usually, his mom has three squares a day ready and waiting for him in the kitchen. When his folks are out of the house, Troll gets meals delivered to his doorstep. His mom does his laundry and takes care of him. His only chore is to dump the trash each week. Despite the Corona chaos being broadcast on television, Troll is as happy as a kitten in front of a fireplace on a cold winter’s day. Troll is looking forward to getting his $1,000 from President Andrew Yang Donald Trump and plans to spend it on his dream date with Hope Hicks. Troll is very patriotic and wants to do his part to stimulate the economy.

William
By day, William is a nonessential government worker, and thus shows up dutifully to his Dilbert-like cubicle every day virtually unnoticed by management. During these times, he is comforted by the knowledge that the rest of his family is safely home surfing the Internet and watching Netflix. He is convinced that their Summer Vacation started really early this year, but as always, his routine continues unabated. The only downside is that the private school attended by Junior has suspended classes, but is still expecting the balance of tuition for the school year. Once home, William still enjoys walking the blog dog around the deserted park near his home and editing posts for our readers.

Chief
The Chief is in his TP with extra T.P. and hand sanitizer. In addition, he is reportedly violating social distance requirements with a willing and lonely squaw (not related to Elizabeth Warren). Once the whites have been ravished by this plague, Chief is hoping for saner public discourse and a restoration of civil liberties for his people.

Jake the Snake
Jake is bummed that the Church threw in the towel so easily on cancelling services. Jake figures they survived the Black Plague, Protestant Reformation, and Inquisition so what’s a few runny noses? Plus his favorite gym has bolted its doors and ESPN has resorted to calling Poker a sport. Oh what times we live in?

We trust that you and yours are safe and that by the dawn of Easter Sunday, we will see the end of this disruption to our way of life.

No, not the kind of Corona confusion Johnnie Does experienced in his youth when he suffered from “the twelve hour flu” after an evening out on the town. The flu data coming out of China may very well be bogus. Folks, I’m used to logical disconnects between the media and reality but when our government and the WHO (World Health Organization) are in a near panic, I think we should pay attention.

Today I saw an interesting story out of Taiwan about what’s taking place in the land of the sleeping dragon. Assuming the data cited in the article is more reliable than vote counts by Democrats in Iowa, you better pay attention. The undercurrent of the story is that the data being reported/admitted to by the Chinese government is false… no surprise there.

On late Saturday evening (Feb. 1), Tencent, on its webpage titled “Epidemic Situation Tracker“, showed confirmed cases of novel coronavirus (2019nCoV) in China as standing at 154,023, 10 times the official figure at the time. It listed the number of suspected cases as 79,808, four times the official figure

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The number of cured cases was only 269, well below the official number that day of 300. Most ominously, the death toll listed was 24,589, vastly higher than the 300 officially listed that day.

Moments later, Tencent updated the numbers to reflect the government’s “official” numbers that day. Netizens noticed that Tencent has on at least three occasions posted extremely high numbers, only to quickly lower them to government-approved statistics.

Tencent may have accidentally leaked real data on Wuhan virus deaths

Folks, if the death toll is really anywhere close to 25K people and more than 150K are listed as infected then the statistic I saw a week ago about the disease being up to 25 percent lethal are terrifying. It would explain much if things are really this bad. Until outside health observers are allowed in the infected area we won’t really know. If this spreads to other metro areas of China then it might merit comparisons with the 1917 Spanish Flu outbreak. FYI, Spanish Flu originated in China too.

I was ready and willing to write a blog post for today but nothing in the news really struck me with enough interest to take the time… until I was at lunch today. I was checking in with the Sean Hannity show expecting to hear his opinion on the Iowa Caucus today when he started completely out of his normal format with a comment about Rush Limbaugh’s announcement. Then he played the audio of Limbaugh announcing that he had stage 4 lung cancer. Boom!!!!

Folks, Rush put a good spin on it, but after a quick survey of our editorial board, the consensus is that it’s not looking good for him. Rush will have the best doctors that money can buy but we all know that’s not always enough. We wish him the best and of course our prayers are with him.

I thought I would take a few minutes to jot down a few of my early memories of his program.

Before Rush was on KFBK there was Morton Downey Jr. Mort made a comment about a Chinese guy that was in local Sacramento politics, maybe on the City Council. As a result, Mort was fired and replaced by Rush. Mort all but disappeared except for a brief role in the movie Predator 2—with Danny Glover.

At first I didn’t like listening to Rush as much as Mort. At the time, I was in the Navy and stationed in Alameda. I remember sneaking into the parking lot and listening to a static filled signal of the broadcast. Once I was discharged at the end of my enlistment, I moved to the Sacramento area. By then, I was a big fan. It was the late 1980’s.

I remember one show in particular. Rush got a call from an obvious member of the John Birch Society. Rush didn’t believe in the Birch philosophy so in his response, he went the other way just to tweak the guy and said, “I don’t believe in any conspiracy but if there is one, I want to be part of it.” Six months later, Rush moved to New York and began his national show.

Rush’s transition was painful and it took him a while to find his footing as he transitioned from a local program to a national one. Once he got on solid ground, he began a series of roadshows, the Rush to Excellence tours. The first tour was videotaped in Sacramento in 1989. I was invited to attend the show by David Knowles. David went on to serve in the State Assembly and Dept. of Insurance.

At the show, Rush was recounting many things that occurred on the radio show. At one point, he was talking about a condom campaign in New York City titled “Rubber-up for Safety.” The condoms were supposed to prevent AIDS and were stapled to information cards. The staple was placed in such a way to penetrate the condom and thus render them useless. Of course this was done using taxpayer money and thus deserved the mockery that only Rush could give it. As Rush was telling this story to his Sacramento audience, at just the right moment, I shouted out the name “Lee Nichols.”

(Nichols was the liberal counterpart to Rush’s local show on KFBK. He was a professor at Sac State and was best known for leaving his wife and children to pursue a homosexual lifestyle.)

Rush lost his train of thought and began laughing as did much of the audience. It was my 15 seconds of fame. Following my outburst, I was shown twice in shots of the audience. I didn’t know this until we watched to VHS tape many months later.

I did call into Rush’s show one time; back when I was a student at Sac State. It went quickly, as the call was dumped right after I asked my question. I learned then that you need to press him hard or you’re one and done.

I hope we have many more years to enjoy Rush. His loss would be a big blow to our Republic.

I got two dispatches from the Troll over the weekend. Apparently, he’s been watching a pirate feed of Aljazeera on his parent’s satellite or visiting the “Dark Web” but he had some interesting news that you may not have heard.

Muslim Brotherhood Communication Intercepted

Urgent…

Live from the command desk at Reallyright.com we have been able to intercept an urgent communication that has far reaching impact on the United States and our way of life. Please take this warning for what it is worth.

Cairo—“The Muslim Brotherhood has officially warned the United States that if they continue to meddle in Syria, Egypt, Libya, Iran, Iraq, and Afghanistan that they will immediately cut off America’s supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers. If the United States continues to meddle, the sanctions will get progressively worse, as cab drivers will be next. If the situation is not diffused by that time, call center operators will be next starting with: Dell, AT&T, and AOL. Comcast reps will be next.”

Folks this is going to get ugly really, really quickly,

May God help us all…..

Iowa Primary Update

Qasem Soleimani has risen to 12 percent in the most recent Iowa polling commissioned by CNN and NPR. Soleimani is the only remaining candidate in the Democrat field with military experience. He recently got the endorsement of all members of the Broad Squad after they learned that he hates Israel as much as they do. The general also got a huge boost with Democrat voters last week after CNN reports encouraged Democrats to buy American flags to fly them at half-mast in his honor. With Cory Booker out now, look for Soleimani’s numbers to climb even higher.

The Troll

My wife and I are planning to exit California in about four more years. This is our plan but we know that it is contingent on a few different things, some of which are out of our control. At this point, we are just watching housing prices in our neighborhood. Watching housing prices is like watching the value of the stocks in your long-term investment portfolio. The ups and downs are about enough to get you seasick if you take your eyes off the horizon.

Flip House

Sitting on the sidelines and watching real estate prices is not a sport for the weak. The problem with watching real estate prices on Zillow and other places is that much of the numbers are nonsense. The posterchild for this is the “flip house” around the corner from me.

About two years ago, Zillow said a house around the corner from us was worth about $450K. (Note: Zillow does not know that said house sat empty for the previous two years and treated it as comparable to others occupied homes in the neighborhood.)

One day, I was walking the “blog dog” and noticed some intense work happening at this particular house. Over the course of about two weeks, the house was renovated inside and out. The house was then staged with furniture, photographed, and put up for sale at $150K above the Zillow price. Folks, the workmanship of the flip was really sketchy (no way there were any permits pulled) but the online photos made the house look great. After one false start, the house had an offer and sold at $590K. How does a house go from abandoned and empty for two years to the highest per square foot in the neighborhood on the basis of a shoddy flip? You literally could see defects just from standing on the sidewalk. A year later, the new owners renovated the house—probably due to poor workmanship.

Other Prices

I get regular solicitations from some local realtors claiming my house is worth X, or Y, or Z but I don’t get where the numbers come from. My next door neighbor’s house was comparable to ours on Zillow but after they redid their front yard, getting rid of about half their lawn and the beautiful tree that once stood there, Zillow awarded the homeowner by boosting the home’s value by $75K in one month. I would guess they spent all of about $12K on their front yard. Again, go figure?

I know our place needs some work but trying to figure how to get the most bang for our dollar and avoid substandard work sometimes looks like a daunting task. Nevertheless, it’s a chore that will probably begin picking up momentum in 2020. As we get closer to our departure date, I think we need to consult a real estate oracle to help us get the most bang for our home improvement bucks.

Lastly, per Zillow, today the flip house is now $42K above the purchase price.