Category: Interesting

Excusing People

Train up a child in the way he should go:

And when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6.

As Dr. Kenneth Gentry pointed out when commenting on this verse, the training in this verse is not that of following God but the opposite; it is the child deciding how he shall go and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Thus, if a child is not taught to obey but is allowed to stay in his rebellion, when he is old then he will not depart from his wayward ways. Thus, such a child will not follow God’s Law but will be ruled by his belly. When he is old, he will decide based on his personal morality which is arbitrary and situational.

When a three-year-old behaves wrongly it might be cute or laughable but when that same three-year-old is thirty and acting the same way, it is a tragedy. It is worse when such a person has family members that make excuses for them as to why they don’t have to grow up during the intervening years.

As stated often and elsewhere on the blog, the Bible teaches that the compassion of the wicked is cruelty. Sometimes parents would rather enable the rebellious child than correct them. They make excuses and justify why Johnny doesn’t have to behave in age-appropriate ways. In our society, enabling bad behavior is often called a disability. With the right form or diagnosis, people get exempted. This pushes them off to the side and out of the way of society. They get to play the sympathy card whenever they are called out for improper behavior.

Once such rebellious children move out of the house, they still expect their family to make excuses for them. They weren’t expected to grow up when living at home so why is that different once they are living on their own.

♬ It’s All About Me ♬ It’s All About Me ♬

Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind …

Leviticus 19:14.

In my own experience, it was the violation of this Biblical Law that was the straw that broke the proverbial back of the camel. My wife had fallen at work and hurt her back. She was only able to move around the house in a walker and with great difficulty. Her adult child claimed that it was too difficult to put her crap in her room and generally keep her stuff picked up. Instead, she threw stuff in the common areas of the house and didn’t care about where they went. She demanded the right to put obstacles in the pathway of her injured mother. When told of her lack of consideration, she threw a huge tantrum. She was OK with putting hazards in the way of her mother and causing her mother to trip. Which did in fact happen.

This child refused any correction and repeatedly rebuffed expectations to act in age-appropriate ways. She demanded to do only the things that she felt like doing, which was close to nothing, and be exempted from all else. Her excuse was that “it was too many rules to learn.” NO, it was common courtesy for others.

It was during this period that her mom decided that since her daughter would not abide by the rules of our household that she needed to move out. I allowed myself to be the villain in this drama. I did in fact oppose the daughter moving out but whenever it was me or the children, I always lost, even when I was right. Note to readers, it’s more important to save the marriage than be right.

Allowing the child to move out was pivotal in destroying the relationship that we once had with her. Sadly, too many years of enabling bad behavior by excusing it had created a firestorm that could no longer be contained.

Emboldened by the newfound independence that she experienced, it was not too long before the pastor of the church summoned me to Nouthetic counseling with said child. I attended several sessions with both the pastor and this child. Oh, with Nouthetic counseling please understand that it was decided ahead of time that I was in sin and had committed some grave error that only they could correct. The weird part was that never once during these sessions was I told why I was there. Neither my wife nor I ever knew. Believe me, I asked my wife more than once.

Anyway, towards the end of these sessions, I was expected to apologize for whatever I had done to said child to cause offense. Again, I was never told, it was just assumed. Folks, I gave her the most sincere and heartfelt apology that I have ever done in my life. I verbally did what the Japanese used to do in real life, I fell on the sword, disemboweled myself, and then removed my head.

In a normal reconciliation situation, once a party apologizes, the other person is expected to confess their sins as well and then having been forgiven, we turn over a new leaf and try restoring the relationship; however … not this child.

Crickets.

One thing this child will not and never has done is apologize for anything. Oh, and for the record, “I’m sorry” is not a proper or biblical apology.

And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

Luke 15:21.

When her turn came to apologize, nothing. In her mind, she has no faults, shortcomings, or sins. She judges everything by the measure of herself, thus there is no fault. Error is only found in the rest of us for falling short of her glory.

It was the outcome of these counseling sessions that my wife and I forever lost our daughter.

Why Vent now

Oh, why am I venting on this now? Said child recently had a baby. I was hoping to offer an olive branch to her and her husband and go visit the child next week. Nieve me. I was hoping this would be a chance to begin again. However, I was informed via email last night that I am an evil influence and can’t be allowed around her child until such time as she is convinced that I have been rehabilitated and found worthy.

I fired off a response a few hours after I returned home last night. Essentially, I quoted Scripture and said take the beam out of your own eye and then we can attend to mine.

When people think their shit doesn’t stink, there’s not much you can do.

Only when you treat others as fellow image bearers of God can you hope for reconciliation. Scripture wants us to walk a few miles in the other person’s shoes and acknowledge our faults. Some people aren’t willing to do that.

Reconciliation is her choice and it always has been. She is unwilling to forgive. She would rather be angry and offended. I can only conclude that she doesn’t know what love is.

In her letter last night, she mentioned that I talk about her on the blog. I do but only because she doesn’t allow communication with her directly. Please note that I do not use the names of any of the children—all adults—on my blog.

I don’t need a relationship with her, if I had one it would enrich my life just a little but again, it’s not my choice.

Hatred of Mom

What does really grate on me is the lack of love that she showed to her mother. Her mother bent over backwards to do things for her, but all mom got in return was to be despised and discarded. Seeing my wife go through that was inexcusable. There is a verse in the Bible that talks about God saving all our tears in a bucket, if that’s really true then my wife has a whole room of tears in buckets. There were so many times that she wept bitterly over the despicable treatment that she was given by her daughter. So many sleepless nights. So many prayers to God to repair the torn relationship. Sadly, it never got better.

Mom went to her grave without properly reconciling with her daughter. It was mom’s hope and mine that maybe if her daughter became a mother that she might see how horribly she treated her mother. It’s been a year since mom died but her daughter hasn’t changed. The motherhood thing is new for her, but I doubt it will be a catalyst for the hoped change.

My wife died hoping that somehow her death would cause her children to seek God and healing for the things broken in their lives. One year later, I’m still hoping that wish would be reality.

Conclusion

Apparently, some people would rather cling to their trespasses and sin, even some that claim the name of Christ. Love is dying to yourself and putting others first. So is being a parent. Loving a child requires sacrificial love. When your child despises the sacrifices made on their behalf, it’s tragic.

I love my wife’s three children. They all need God’s healing touch but in very different ways. The truth is that we all do.

Attorney Mario has finally written up the necessary documents to get my girlfriend’s annulment underway. He has had the necessary reports that he needed since December 9^th of last year, but it wasn’t until earlier today that he got the documents filed with the court.

Folks, we are grateful that Mario is finally moving forward. Our frustration is that he moves with roughly the same speed as John Thune trying to bring the SAVE Act to a vote in the Senate.

So now the Court attempts to notify felon Dennis that his piñata wife finally has the means to dump him. My girl and I are expecting that Dennis will not be notified (for reasons stated below) and will not dispute the proceedings. Last I heard, Dennis, is hanging out in South Korea, except when seeing his new girlfriend. He can’t return to his home country due to an outstanding warrant for hospitalizing his wife when they last saw each other. Yep, you’re a class act when you cheat on your wife, abandon her, and then beat the shit out of her just for fun.

Oh, Dennis does know the annulment is happening because he was convinced to unblock his ex on social media long enough to be told. That was in November. Oh, his reply was that if she gave him the house and two million pesos (~$35,000) that he wouldn’t object. Yo! Dennis, who’s the scumbag in this equation?

Not to be out done, Dennis has a sister or two that is harassing both me and my new girlfriend online via fake accounts of Facebook. The sisters are sending anonymous messages to us via these fake accounts. Oh, the newer accounts are using photos of my girl as their profile pictures. One profile picture is one that my girl put on Facebook in November of the two of us at the beach, and the other is one of her after being beaten; said photo was only shared with the police and her ex as part of the arrest warrant process. It was never posted on social media.

It appears that the sister[s] are upset that my girl will get half of the money when the house, which is jointly owned, is sold after the annulment is completed. We (my girl and I) agreed months ago not to go after the other assets that her ex has hidden just to get this unpleasant mess behind us. Instead of being thankful that we are not attempting to extract every last farthing from him, he and his family are being vindictive that my girl gets a few crumbs off the table. They are mad that she gets anything.

Anyway, after the notification attempted box is checked, then the court process can begin. As of now, it will be three hearing dates spread over a few months. The process is crippled to prevent a fast process. Hopefully, at some point, we are hoping that the judge will issue a summary judgment in my girl’s favor and truncate the process, so we don’t have to go the distance with all the hearings. Anyway, her freedom is coming. It’s been nine years since he was first caught cheating. The marriage cratered from that point. By any metric, the marriage is dead and has been for many years.

I was witness to a customer and a colleague talking about things they saw on the television.  As documented in this space, I do not have cable, nor do I partake in watching much more than, call it an hour a week.  I think 90% of what is on said virtual babysitter is propaganda one way or the other.  That includes Fox News. 

They got to talking today, saying there are reports of people impersonating ICE agents and how it is impossible to know what is real and not.  Since all ICE agents are masked, anyone could impersonate them, right?  Right?  The said the agents can bust down your door or shoot you while driving by… because they can!  They can detain you and ask questions later.  They were roused about how the shootings were not necessary and were entirely avoidable.  I had to get up and take a long trip to the bathroom as this was unreal.  But this is a reminder we live amongst the sheep; you view the tv for hours on end and think it is gospel truth.

This is why I am glad to be a libertarian; I will break down how the above is not true at all.

First of all, a warrant is required to enter your house by force (aka kicking the door down.)  ICE agents, while masked, must still present valid ID documentation if asked.  They also cannot enter your property via a locked gate, again, unless they have a warrant or are chasing you (the illegal criminal) on foot or by car. 

If you are stupid enough to open your door for someone you don’t recognize, or feel has dubious credentials, you deserve your fate!  There is nothing wrong with asking for someone’s credentials or flat out not answering the door.  I don’t.  If I’m not expecting you, you either better be dropping something off, or beat it.  I will not allow entry!

Again, they need a warrant to operate.  They cannot and do not operate in a vacuum like the folks on cable TV will have you believe.  When ICE shows up to do a raid, they are usually looking for one or more people, who are here illegally, who have criminal records, and missed their court date.  Read the sentence again.  They do not simply raid the local Home Depot parking lot, that’s a lie.  Also, this may be news to our California readers, but some cities and counties DO cooperate with ICE.  When a person is arrested and it turns out they are here illegally, they can be turned over to ICE that night!  Other times the person is picked up for a crime like; DUI, domestic violence, battery, or theft and when discovered is also turned over to ICE. 

Regarding the statements about people in the home/car also being arrested and deported that is a thing also.  It’s also legal.  Choose your friends wisely!  Folks, if I am in the car with a criminal illegal alien, I too can expect to be detained for questioning, just like if I was hiding someone in my house; in which case you can kick my door down!  See how that works?  I’m shielded from the law if I am doing nothing wrong, such protections do not exist when I am harboring a fugitive from the law!  Folks, no judge will issue a bench warrant for failure to appear if you missed a hearing about a speeding ticket, these people are the worst of the worst. 

Now regarding the part about shooting illegal criminal aliens.  Again, what you are seeing on tv are clips from the incidents are formatted and condensed to fit a narrative.  In the case of the women who tried to make a getaway in her car and was shot 3 times, it is hard to argue that she was a saint.  She was agitating officers all day and was told to exit the car!  She made a choice, that choice was suicide by cop!  The other person who was killed, again, was agitating and out of control. He even brandished what appeared to be a weapon.  I never am happy or will defend the shotting of someone, but come on, in both cases it was extremely avoidable. 

The only commentary I will provide to defend the ICE agents is this.  They have a very thankless job. They are vilified by the news/print/radio media constantly.  They have been doxed (identity given to the public) and had their/spouses/family’s lives threatened by deranged whackos.  They are doing their jobs. Oh, and the current President ran on this exact agenda.  It should not be a surprise.  Folks speaking again as a libertarian, the law gives wide latitude to peace (police type) officers when they are involved in a shooting.  If said officer claims they feared for their life, or thought they saw a gun, they typically have the right to use deadly force, even in a state like California.  It is not smart at all to agitate someone who is wearing a badge and carrying a gun, especially when they can use and apply deadly force as they see fit.  I would not want to be hoping that officer is having a good day while I taunt him mercilessly. 

Last point, I overheard the 90-day guy saying, “how come they can’t just shoot them in the leg?”  This is a typical, highly uneducated response that I have come to expect from a “California Conservative.”  First, you are not trained to shoot someone in the leg. Tell me you haven’t shot a gun before without telling me you haven’t shot a gun before.  No gun range has the ability to get you to shoot someone in the leg, it’s a small target!  Hence you aim for the center mass (the torso).  Law enforcement is trained to only discharge their weapon to protect lives and property; think self-defense. This is the difference between cops and soldiers. The other aspect of a police shooting that he doesn’t have the ability to comprehend is, until the threat is considered neutralized, the medics cannot give the victim medical attention.  So, to lay it out, shooting the person in the leg will likely just cause them to bleed out anyway.  Trust me most of the time when there is an officer involved shooting, the criminal is very well known, and the police planned for this likely happening.

The Chief

GOALS

My big goal for 2026 is to tie the knot with my special lady. Of course, I have a few obstacles to get out of my way first.

The biggest of these is to survive filing my 2025 taxes. Last year was a train wreck in terms of what it cost. I think this year will be better since I upped the withholdings. I will know February 2^nd when I visit my tax man.

Then there is “the ring.” “One ring to rule them all …” comes to mind. My girl wants a diamond, I was hoping she would be happy with a ruby but have been overruled. I think I have a plan to get this done, but given the price of gold lately, this might be a pricey transaction. Such is life.

Then comes the ceremony. This will be a frugal event, but it will be great. The biggest issue is how to feed the guests. I have a venue in mind but of course my plan may not be hers.

By the time these things are ready, I figure it will be May. Then my last obstacle will be where to warehouse my dog for about six weeks. I have an idea, but I will see what happens. Frankly, this is the costliest part of going on a trip. If I can do better than $25 per day, then I will be happy.

GRIPES

As of this writing, I still have a few sour people trying to dump all over me and my girl. My mom doesn’t understand why I can’t find a white girl in the U.S. of A. She and some other family members have told me that it is even wrong of me to look. They literally have said that I should ignore seeking another relationship and God will bring someone in my life. I tried that with the first wife, and it took over 20 years. Translation, be alone and happy you’re not married. Why is it that married people keep telling single ones to be happy they aren’t married. Sounds to me like they have impaired judgement in selecting a life partner not me. I loved being married and want to do it again.

As always, zero people have put forth zero suggestions as to who I should pursue for marriage. Even back when my parents asked me to divorce my first wife, they had no suggestions as to who could do a better job. The bottom line is that they just like to find fault, point out what they feel are the shortcomings of others, and tear down others that they find inferior. How this builds them up, I’m not sure.

I had weird conversation with my sister the other day. I tried to explain my relationship with my girl and said that if the church is in charge of marriage, then I am walking on solid biblical ground in our relationship. She got hostile and denied that either the church or State was in charge of marriage. Instead, she claimed it was the Bible. The Bible in a vacuum with no institution underpinning it!

I tried to say that God had put the Church in charge of marriage, and she flat out denied it, stating that I was wrong. (I am most certainly correct. See Ray Sutton’s book Second Chance.) Then, she started to accuse me of adultery and began to lecture me that if I went to a Bible believing church then I would know the truth. She had gone over the logical cliff by then and kept going. I was sure the Roadrunner would pop up any second with the sign reading “Gravity” but he never materialized.

Good grief!

God created four governments and marriage must belong to at least one. Here are the choices of biblical government: Self, Church, State, Family. I believe that Christ has given marriage to the church.

My former church believes that marriage belongs primarily to the government and in a secondary capacity to the church. They would deny this but look at how they act. Deeds are louder than words; especially, when the actions don’t align with the words.

This example is true, but I am changing the names and some minor details because they don’t matter to the point I am trying to make.

Steve and Laura joined the church several years ago. They have three small children. Steve was highly regarded by the clergy and was a promising young guy that they wanted to make into an Elder in the congregation. It didn’t happen but …

As time when on, Steve started seeing Zelda, a coworker, on the side. The wife found out and Steve moved out to cohabitate with Zelda. Laura files for divorce. Then the church holds a trial and excommunicated Steve. Once the divorce is finalized in the family law court, Laura is then pronounced from the pulpit as eligible to remarry as the innocent party in the relationship. 

Why did the church defer to State action? You can only conclude that marriage belongs to the State. The State gives you a marriage license and licenses officiants so marriage must belong to them. The church has a minor and secondary role in marriage. In fact, a church is really not necessary to get married, it’s just a tradition that the State allows.

Thus, a church that gives lip service to Sola Scriptura doesn’t really believe it. If they believed the Church is biblically charged with administering marriage, they would not wait for the State. State action is irrelevant. They would not wait for Laura to file for divorce. They would try Steve without waiting. Furthermore, they would have simultaneously pronounced judgment on Steve and announced Laura, as the innocent party, eligible to remarry.

Biblically, the State has no part in marriage and until about 1900, they didn’t. Only when local governments began seeking additional income did licensing marriage become a thing. It was originally for the purpose of taxing marriage that it began to be licensed. But now that the church allowed the State to take over marriage, does the current situation exist.

Folks, just because this happened doesn’t make it right, but when your church denies the applicability of biblical law to the State, what do they have left? Such clergy agrees with Gavin Newsom that they are nonessential workers. This is how you know, no matter how nice the pastor might be, that in the final analysis that he is a hireling and not really a shepherd.

Once the State takes something away from the Church, it always belongs to the State.

Folks, the devil gets lots of credit in our society for taking stuff away from the church, but the truth is even more sinister, the church simply cedes the ground to the devil and usually without a fight. You know how you always get mad at Republicans for surrendering to Democrats and getting nothing in the bargain, ditto for the church. Unilateral Capitulation.

People that believe marriage belongs to the church are happy that I have found someone to love. Those that think marriage belongs to the State think I’m a notorious sinner because I assert that I don’t need to wait on the government to get their paperwork caught up with reality to date my girl or, gasp, marry her.

Oh, the other issue involved in my situation is that one part of the body of Christ doesn’t recognize any part of the body but their own denomination. The Apostle to the Gentiles was clear that all the parts are knitted together by the Holy Spirit but one body. Again, my former church claims to be Sola Scriptura but doesn’t believe this either. They want the right to sit in judgement over a church in another country because their method of baptism or whatever isn’t the same as theirs. BFD.

Folks, when you impose any presuppositions onto the Bible, be they cultural or eschatological, you will never rightly divide the Word of Truth. Your presuppositions get in the way.

In about a year, this will all get sorted out. When it does, you will find me standing near Charlie Kirk, Mark Steyn, and a few theologians that are or should be household names. I’m not right, I’m Really Right. I’ve stated this before; I have a plan, I’m working the plan, and it will be alright in the end. Just give me the grace to get there.

The 90-Day Guy lied. I have irrefutable evidence of his lie.  Mental health is not a sympathy card and f**k you if you are using it as one. 

How do I know he is lying?  An aunt of mine who worked as a primary care doctor, and a surgeon, was over for Christmas.  I asked for her expertise on this subject.

I told her what he had told me, that he told his doctor he was suicidal and had even picked out the knife to kill himself.  She said the doctor is obligated at that point to make a call to the health and human service or related county/state department.  She added that her medical malpractice insurance would not pay out if he had killed himself and she didn’t notify the correct channels.  She went on to say he would be required to see a specialist for an evaluation. I told her he went once or twice then quit going, for money reasons.  It’s always money with him, all the time.  She told me that’s a lie also, as the appropriate channel/group would have forced him to attend, again being suicidal is a big deal this day and age with all the mass shootings done by them. 

I further prodded, William will tell you it’s what I do, and her further responses crystalized his lying.  She said mental health is a huge thing right now and most insurance covers it 100%. This is due to different laws passed as result of these shootings/killings.  She said she had a feeling about what he did, I let her speak freely.  Full disclosure, she is from Illinois, but I feel the laws/regulations on the books are likely similar or the same to California, where I am based.  She said I can guarantee he went to an urgent care doctor, someone who is not his primary care doctor, he went in wanting to be diagnosed with a mental condition, and he won.  Her words and I quote “he squealed to a doctor who is not his own and got put on a pill that will not fix his issue, it’s a here you go drug.”  It’s a cover your butt, here you go, I guess you have a condition because you say you do.  He went to an urgent care doctor because the doctor has plausible deniability, he can claim he sees a ton of patients each day, insured or uninsured he doesn’t know.  It’s a free pass.  That doctor was done with him after payment was processed that day, he got what he wanted.

He claims its anxiety when my phone’s alert for a call is coming in or a text is incoming bothers him; however, the sounds at the local casino do not.  He gets off on things like this; it’s a sympathy card to him.  It’s wild. When things do not go his way, it’s a mental health thing, yet he seeks no treatment.  He is a liar.

There you have it folks, it’s been proven, truth always wins out. If you claim mental health and are lying about it, you are the lowest of the low.  Actually, I’ll use a term the young people use: SYBAU … it’s an acronym for shut your bitch ass up.  People with mental health issues need our help, not people who want to fake it.

The Chief

I’ve been slow to post anything lately as I’m still working through the death of my wife. Thanks to “The Chief” for making the bulk of new content here lately.

I’m sorting my wife’s treasures and purging a lot of them. She valued things in terms of sentimentality and not cash value. Sadly, granddad’s ratty leather briefcase and grandma’s old dish towels don’t mean much to me, and thus didn’t make the cut. Her children generally don’t want anything. None of the three children has offered to help go through any of their mother’s stuff. I’m left to either store what I think they might like later or chuck it out.

I have a huge amount of stuff to scan this next winter. Thus far, I have scanned over 26,000 images that need review. Most were scanned and the originals were scrapped. Frankly, almost all of this stuff is meaningless unless the kids decide to be parents, then maybe their past will begin to have some significance. But right now, they have no future or thought of perpetuating the species. (In fairness, one child is looking at adoption but that is different than having your own offspring.)  The boys are seemingly content to spend their free time in front of small screens playing video games and having cyber friends in place of real relationships.

I have been fishing a few times in the last few weeks. I’ve caught trout in local rivers and bass in a local lake. I haven’t caught anything big, but I haven’t gotten skunked anywhere yet.

One project I’ve been working on is completing the railing for the deck. I bought the materials from Home Depot. Almost every box that has been delivered has been damaged. I have spent much time cleaning up the material so it can be used. I am still missing one box which should be delivered this week, or else I start complaining. I’ve been putting off the stair railing but may have to do that soon. (It’s the hardest so I have been saving it for last.)

I have set aside a small place near the front door for some photos of my wife. I’m lacking one more picture frame to complete this area. Meanwhile, the craft room is almost stripped bare, at least compared to how it looked before.

Th electricians have never finished the garage but I’m hoping that they will finish the job. It should only take one guy a day to finish what remains.

I’ve committed to connecting the upper stories of the house and garage. Hopefully my contractor can do the work as we discussed. I’m penciled in for August but that was before his daughter ran up $18K in medical bills. (The down side of not having medical insurance.) It was also before I decided to go to Ireland for two weeks.

Yep, I paid for a trip to Ireland. My wife made me promise to take a trip somewhere we would have enjoyed going together. I know I’m supposed to go because the recommended book to read prior to the trip is, “How the Irish Saved Civilization.” St Patrick is the best.

Anyway, that’s the highlights for now.

My initial comment here is that I have actually done this. What I have done will be different than for you but the principles that I express here will be helpful.

First you need to understand what the person was using as their main points of identity. In a world of two-factor identification, this is important to start closing accounts online. Apple or Microsoft or Google and perhaps Facebook are what I would consider the usual suspects. (Leave these accounts for last.) Also, knowing the PIN to get into a person’s cell phone is a must. Typically, this is a four-digit number.

Banking and Money

Start with financial stuff. Freeze the debit or credit cards. Close any accounts tied to a person’s bank. Amazon, PayPal, Venmo, eBay, etc. You don’t want anyone draining the bank account while you are doing other things.

Please note that bank accounts can create terrible experiences for spouses, trustees, and relations. Financial institutions will often freeze accounts, want to see a death certificates, and be made aware of a clearly defined successor to any accounts. My wife and I have a Trust and that removed a lot of obstacles in this area. My former next-door neighbor let her husband handle all the bills and when he died, the banks and credit cards froze all the liquid assets. She went over six weeks just to get control of her checking account. Meanwhile, no bills could be paid, and she couldn’t buy any food.

Subscriptions

Cancel subscription services: Netflix, Disney Plus, Discovery Plus, Max, Kindle, etc. Do this even if you want to keep them. Redo any streaming accounts in the name of a living person.

Photos, Documents, and the like

Once you close the financial accounts, you need to start unwinding the stuff on the cell phone. Archive photos, email, text messages, documents on the phone. Also, check the “cloud storage” from Google, One Drive, Dropbox, Apple, etc. Put what you want to keep on a PC or laptop. To access Android data, you can set up Blue Stacks on your computer. Then you can access copies of photos, text messages, contact lists, etc. It takes patience and computer skills to do this.

Concerning text messages, they can be backed up and copied to a PC; however, they are completely unreadable without restoring them to another cell phone or using third party software. I can see them in Google Messages via Blue Stacks but can’t print them, which is really frustrating. I found third party software that can print them but the text message file from my wife’s phone was over 4 GB, and the software can’t handle such a large file without crashing.

Facebook

The easiest account to close was Facebook; however, it takes some thought and preparation before you act. First you need to decide if you want to delete the account or have Facebook archive it. Either way, the contents of the account can be downloaded. This includes all photos posted, friend lists, and other stuff. Deleting the account is easy but there is another option. You can give control of the account to someone else. In the bowls of Facebook settings, it is possible to designate anyone on the friends list as a beneficiary. (Of course, FB calls this by another name.) The designated person can then go to their Facebook account and report that the person died. Before doing this, you will need a scanned copy of the death certificate. Fill out a simple form, again buried in the bowls of account settings, and be sure to attach the death certificate.

Reporting the death of a Facebook person and subsequent approval will lock the deceased person’s account, archive the account, and affix “In Memory of…” to the top of the FB page. This also givs the beneficiary control of the account. The beneficiary can post on the account, back it up, or delete it.

Root Accounts

There is a good chance that all or some phone data is backed up on Google, Microsoft, and/or Apple servers. Deleting these primary accounts will end any hope of data recovery. Use a tech savvy person to do this and then do a factory reset to the phone.

Final thought, Samsung no longer has their own cloud storage; instead, they piggyback it onto Microsoft’s One Drive. I am not clear if this is a stand-alone backup or part of the disk space allocated to Samsung users. Without a valid email account, you may not be able to access the data anyway. If you are extra paranoid, keep this in mind.

Have fun doing this. It took me a week and I’m not totally done, just at a comfortable place to stop … for now.