Everyone seems to be playing fantasy football this year so I figured it better try my hand. Every team seems to have a theme like favorite players or something, so the troll had his own ideas. This team is likely to never ever get beat, we will explain later.
First we like to build our team like the Raiders or Cowboys, with no regard to morality. You see choir boys don’t win championships, and there is a direct correlation between arrests and winning!Repeat offenders are welcome, we have zero standards on this squad!
Here is the team:
Raider Troll
QB1 Ben Roethisberger: multiple women have accused him of rape, he was never found guilty. QB2 Jameis Winston: accused of rape in college, DA, US Atty, and local judge declined charges. Accused of sexual harassment in the NFL, again never charged. With that kind of elusiveness he is a great fit.
Houston Oiler Troll
RB1 Kareem Hunt: Punched 2 women, 1 in college 1 last year in the pros, we was the best RB in the league until he was suspended. RB2: Joe Mixon: Hit women in college, breaking her jaw. Imagine what kind of pain he can dole out to opposing defenses! RB3 Adrian Peterson: Beat his kid with a switch putting him in the hospital, sounds like a guy for us! RB4 Ezekiel Elliot: Look at his record, speaks for itself, I haven’t seen an Ezekiel do that much damage since the Old Testament! RB5 Le’veon Bell: Got DUI, told cops I didn’t know you could get one from drugs, then in court told the judge he still uses everyday. My kind of guy, strong back, weak mind.
49er Troll
WR1: Josh Gordon: We wrote about him in this space, major drug guy, criminal to boot. WR2: Tyreek Hill: Beat his girl 2 separate times, then had her lie to the police about it. He knows you need a fall guy this day and age. WR3 Antonio Brown: A late trade by us, threatened to beat up his teams GM, in addition to a litany of other character “flaws” a late steal. WR4 Desean Jackson: A major thug, but a needed veteran leader.
Redskin Troll
TE1 Aaron Hernandez: He is still alive, just chilling with Elvis and Tupac. Brings a killer instinct.
Bronco troll
Kicker: Carli Lloyd: Not a criminal but the team said she would be a delight to be around and a definite asset in the locker room.
Armed Chief Troll
This team will beat you on the field, in the parking lot and just to prove a point, beat your girl as well.
Obviously this is a troll blog, but it goes to show the amount of all-stars in the NFL who are very bad people. Let’s see how we do this year!
I tried to log on to the ReallyRight.com site Wednesday morning this past week and to my dismay I was greeted with a screen reading “account suspended.” I was absolutely befuddled.
Did Elon Musk file a cease and desist on the BlogFather? Did useless skid mark on societies underpants Jarrold Nadler order this? Did the Russians finally hack a website to influence an election? Did Britney from the salsa bar do this as a jilted former flame? Did Twitter suspend this website like they suspended Chief’s Twitter account? Did the “FBI surveillance van” finally get the BlogFather? Did PG&E blow up the website like they blow up houses in San Bruno? The BlogFather took my phone call and at first, we thought maybe Aaron Park did this…but we concluded Aaron couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag if you gave him directions, so scratch him off the list. BlogFather being the guy that he is, straightened this all out…and it was a dumb error on the providers part, however, we are back, and the suspension had nothing to do with us.
However, since I am a Troll, I figure Nadler had something to do with it…based on pure jealousy of this internet Troll. He is mad at me because ope Hicks is into me and not him. I get it, he feels he is big and powerful and I’m just a Troll. First of all, Nadler, Hicks doesn’t even want to look at your greasy, pants to your pecs, Jersey trash self. Especially if you get a look at me…I look like I was carved out of marble…I’m so good I oughta be illegal…I also double as talent on loan from God. So as long as God doesn’t call his loan anytime soon, she is mine Nadler! Hmmm… Just to make you even more mad Nadler, not only is Trump 100% innocent and going to get re-elected, but I have also requested to see my girlfriend Hope “stretching” like in this photo. Also be advised, as someone from Tennessee, she has told me “I’m the only 10 she sees.”
Hope Hicks puts the Fox in Fox News
Additional housekeeping: Turns out the FBI surveillance van is just someone’s fancy name for a home Wi-Fi network…lame! I figured he was going to jail, and I would be the new owner of this blog…Sad! In regards to Chief, I made contact with him and his Twitter was suspended initially for tweeting at real OJ Simpson things like “how’s the search for the real killer going” and “If you did kill Nicole Brown would you have done it the same way?” He also added he has been suspended again for trying to start a gofundme.com to buy OJ a mirror so he can identify the real killer and sending him a tweet and asking him to retweet it. I guess that is frowned upon in this establishment! I’m sorry OJ, you will be dealing with my constant trolling, I’m sure its way worse than what you did to Nicole Brown
Troll
Here are additional photos of the beautiful future Mrs. Troll, Hope Hicks…
White House communications director Hope Hicks
Vintage Hope Hicks
Editor’s note: Troll failed to provide referenced photos of Hope Hicks in time for the publishing deadline so I had to improvise with my own selection. When searching the Internet for Hope Hicks, I found that many beautiful women wish they were mistaken for her.
Very seldom does the Troll put in work on a weekend, but we are short some bloggers. I came across this story and couldn’t let it go without mention because you can’t miss with this one. I say behind the arc, because every so often you have to step beyond the 3-point line and fire off a jumper!
What a time to be alive! So, a group from Florida–they are the worst type by the way…just search “Florida man” on Twitter–anyway, while visiting Old Faithful they decided to get up close and personal to a wild animal. According to firsthand accounts about 50-60 people approached this bull bison while it was eating, thinking it was smart to pet it. At some point the bison…hard to believe it was agitated by this, charged at a 9-year-old girl and flung her in the air like a rag doll! I am stunned no one could have seen this coming…it’s not a zoo, these are wild animals! Signs literally say stay 25 yards from elk, bison, and deer, yet I guess the laws of probability cease to exist among this group! Look at the video…what a bananas situation!
😳 Things escalated quickly when a bison spotted this 9-year-old girl at Yellowstone National Park. Luckily, she's OK! (Her parents are the ones running away in the background, according to the witness who shot this video.) https://t.co/xfieCv5iHjpic.twitter.com/Pei98hR6Rf
Reaction by troll: The article states a bunch of kids were crying…. yeah, I can’t find much reason to laugh at this story. The young girl thankfully had no serious injuries…. jury is still out on if either parent has medulla oblongata. I’ve gotta say, it’s how the adults took off leaving this girl to fend for herself…a sacrificial lamb perhaps? How was the girl thrown into the air if bison do not have arms or hands? I’m glad the parents got away unscathed would have been a real shame if any of them would have been struck by this beast. This is a great time to reach out to a sponsor, perhaps Trojan Condoms…. these are very important, as these adults should have never been conceived let alone allowed to reproduce themselves! What else could possibly explain the youngest being the sacrificial lamb in this situation? Sometimes a chlorine blast to the gene pool could do some good!
Yellowstone sign
No word from AOC on whether this bison should be euthanized yet regarding its emissions and maybe global warming had something to do with this? No word yet from Chuck Schumer on whether this bison escaped while being hunted by Donald Trump Jr. There has to be some way to tie this to President Trump, right? Perhaps its here illegally from Canada? Black Lives Matter is still silent on this one…opting to test to see if said bison is “really black.” No word from the DOJ on whether Elizabeth “chief squaw” Warren should be charged for her people not killing this bison. Bernie Sanders wants to know why this bison was allowed into the park without paying the entrance fee! Also does it have healthcare…. if so, how is it paying?
Barack Obama is still trying to figure out why the bison wasn’t killed on the spot since all people in fly-over country cling to their guns and religion? Maybe this attack was just the bison’s coping mechanism for dealing with President Trump…I need answers!!!!! Jarrold Nadler better not bring Hope Hicks into this or I may need to call in a favor from friend of the blog, OJ Simpson!!!!!! Between him and Ray Lewis I think I’ve got the murder and coverup handled…imagine the legal team we could afford! When Obama said “Hope and Change”, I should have paid more attention…change my girlfriend and date a girl named Hope…got it….!
My parting shots: keep your head on a swivel kid! The angel of death is always hovering about, looking for his next victim…I’m assuming gender here but bear with me…or should I say bison with me LOL. Keep your head on a swivel!!!!!!!!!!
Editor’s Note: the following article by Troll discusses, in passing, Bill Clinton’s conduct while in the White House and therefore may be offensive to Liberals and is definitely inappropriate for small children.
House Judiciary Committee Chair and resident idiot, Jarrold Nadler–who honestly has nothing better to do with his pathetic existence on this earth–has decided Hope Hicks needs to return to Congress and testify yet again about hush money payments by “Trump” to Stormy Daniels.
Stormy Daniels
Allegedly Hicks was involved in a three way phone call with Michael Cohen and Donald Trump, regarding payments to Daniels, and Hicks may have “misled” Congress in her testimony. First of all, why is a women on a call when discussing payments to another women for…let’s call it “services rendered?” It literally makes no sense…that being said, is it a wonder Hicks forget or couldn’t remember what was being discussed? I mean really, what girl wants to know what you did with a stripper, and on top of that (pun intended) how much you paid for the deed? (Allegedly) Then I found out Stormy’s real name is Stephanie Clifford….and get this, she is not related to that big red dog from my childhood….big letdown!
In case you missed it, back in the Clinton era I’ve been told first-hand accounts there was more sex going on in the Oval Office than in some brothels. Guess what? Aside from Joe Lieberman nary a Democrat cared! What a difference a couple decades makes. Clinton stuck his pepperoni in all kinds of women’s tomato patches, got a blowie while on the phone with dignitaries, and no one in his party had an issue.
Now because a very wealthy, non-politician and a crooked lawyer made couple hush money payments the world stops? Hardly the crime of the century…also why does the country suddenly believe a crooked lawyer who is in jail right now looking for a way to reduce his sentence?
The truth of the matter is that both Michaels–Cohen and Avenatti–both of whom are going to spend a while in jail–stayed true to form this entire time. Both were more than happy to collect retainers and high billable hours from their clients, but when the ship started taking on water it was too late for them to bail. Both thought for sure they knew where the skeletons were buried, however that didn’t work out so well. This is because the GOP insiders, the Democrats, and these two idiots under estimated Trump as a person. Trump may be morally bankrupt (allegedly) however he is very bright, and always kept an arm’s length between him and any wrong doing….sorry folks he is here to stay.
In closing, Nadler you grease ball, you’re so fat you should roll up a hill! Lay off the cold cuts you blowhard!
Jerrold Nadler Idiot–New York
And quit calling my girlfriend back so you can ogle her or ask about her dating life. She isn’t going to date you, she is attracted to people who actually have intellectual abilities. By the way scum bag, she is a model, the only thing you’re a model for is what not to aspire to be! She didn’t lie, or misspeak, maybe…just maybe, she like other women does not give a flying rip about other people’s sex lives or hush money.
Hope Hicks
Keep in mind, you idiots took control of the House due to Republicans not wanting to work with Trump, and you’re wasting everyone’s time on this. Look at the multitude of problems facing our country, we have high debt, student loans, cost of healthcare, tuition, homelessness, and I’m just naming a few, pick a couple, pass decent legislation, and brand yourselves the problem solvers. Go away you lard tub! So Trump did the dirty with someone and paid them off, look at those bolt-on’s Daniels bought herself? Talk about stimulating more than just the economy! But in the meantime I will continue to investigate Ms. Hicks and try to stay on top of her…I will update as necessary.
Hope Hicks
I wish I could have had a three way with Hope Hicks and Jennifer Aniston that woulda been great!
UPDATE: It has come to the attention of this blogger the “Broad Squad” (h/t Blog Father) is trying to get a primary challenge to Nadler for not being liberal enough…maybe you and Trump have something in common after all?
Troll
PS thoughts and prayers for “The Chief” as his Twitter account was suspended for 20 hours for engaging in a beef with OJ Simpson in regards to him finding the “real killer.” Also pray for the Blog Father, apparently there is a FBI Surveillance Van on his street, so says a potential Wi-Fi connection, did the Blog Father commit a heinous crime? Or did Karen England give the FBI the wrong address for Aaron Park?
We will update when info is passed along.
With two regular contributors to this blog potentially sidelined, we must plan for a future of just myself and that food blogger Johnnie Does being the only bloggers left here.
Rob Manfred is Commissioner of Major League Baseball; a declining sport with plenty of pressing issues. This week he decided to play politician regarding the Tampa Bay Rays.
Tampa Bay was founded as an expansion team in 1995, and after years of being as hapless as possible, they finally got good. Problem is they have needed a new stadium for years. They play in an antiquated circus dome, featuring 4 catwalks, (would love to see Ms. Hicks strut her stuff on one) hitting a ball off two of these is a home run, the other two means the ball is in play and it causes great confusion. They also play on AstroTurf that has been described as a thin piece of cloth with concrete under it, causing the ball to take awkward kangaroo hops in random directions.
However, to the point of this article, Manfred has been trying to get the Rays a new stadium for years. Attendance has been horrible since they came into the league…probably because people wonder how you can play this sport in a body of water (Tampa Bay). Tampa and their owner have been very stingy about wanting to pay for a new stadium so as a result the owner has teased about relocating to other cities…Portland, Nashville, Mexico City etc. Baseball wants to expand but cannot do this until Oakland and Tampa Bay get new ballparks.
Muppet #1
While pondering league expansion, Manfred apparently picked up a large bottle of booze (or magic mushrooms from Oakland) and after a 72 hour bender, he thought this would be a good idea. He attempted to imitate the great feat of wisdom shown by the biblical King Solomon when he declared that two mothers split the same baby. Lord Manfred said the Rays could explore playing in two different towns during the same season, actually he green lighted it if the Rays so agree. His idea…play one half of the season in Tampa, and the other half in Montreal…which by the way lost their team a while back due to attendance issues. Since Montreal is seen as a frontrunner to get a new team, he wants to see how attendance goes.
Muppet #2
This is literally one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. He wants the players, many of whom do not live in the town they play in on anything more than a seasonal basis, to have to buy another place in Montreal? Does he realize how far Montreal is from Tampa, Florida? (1,491 miles) How could a team possibly try to recruit players to join it when you will now have Canadian taxes charged to your paycheck as well? The travel schedule will be brutal! This has to be one of the worst ideas; seriously I’m still waiting for him to walk it back and say he was blitzed when he came up with it.
Muppet #3
My Idea:
Baseball plays 162 games a year, half of which being home games, so 81….who gets the 41st game Montreal or Tampa? I say screw it, let’s do a mashup, first 4.5 innings in Tampa, then both teams get on planes, go through customs and play the second half of said game in Montreal, on the same day mind you! That would be bananas! Like a 7 hour layover between pitches….what a time to be alive! As far as the name of this team? I would go with the Tampa Bay Ex-Rays of Montreal. Thus paying homage to the former name of the Expos, yet combining with the Rays name. The Ex-Rays is also a homage to all the retired people in Florida. The team’s jersey should be a mashup too, half Expos-half Rays, and under the English words, put a translation in French Canadian! Pay the players in American dollars for the first half of said game, then upon conclusion, a check in Canadian Loons!
Market this game as the Equinox, playing half the day in USA and the second half in Canada! Both cities are known for being the strip club capitals of their respective countries…I would play this up big time! Lose the foul pole, replace with a stripper pole, instant entertainment and a great reason to go to the game! You could easily have promotions of father/daughter amateur day at the park, where you get a free ticket if she struts her stuff! The team could even call it career day…I mean really work that angle here man…gotta prepare people for a future career! Why wait to payoff that student loan debt? Personally, I reject the notion that robots are better companions than people.
Rather than call the private boxes at the ballpark “suites,” I would call them “penthouses,” get your entertainment in multiple ways at said game. Heck this idea could revolutionize the seventh inning stretch, just look at what Colin Kaepernick did for the national anthem; except this would be a move in a more positive and friendly direction. It would promote friendship by bring people together and who’s opposed to that?
I would call the bars “The Library” where scantily clad women serve drinks and perform…think about this….don’t dismiss the idea…tell your wife/girl/spouse you’re going to the library! Think about it again…girls could tell their parents they have a job working at the library…boom instant alibi. How about Tinder or Ashley Madison night…you can rent a one bed penthouse by the hour, or minute? If you make it on the Jumbotron screen during the stretch maybe you could get a free round for the penthouse. The more the merrier.
We aren’t male chauvinists here at Really Right. We are ok with equal opportunity, so we will have Grindr night as well…hell one of baseball’s expressions is “pulling the ball!” Not to be outdone, we are developing an app for ladies, Munchr, again a famous expression in baseball…”go the other way”….equal opportunity here man! Attendance would skyrocket and this thing will work. I’m quitting my job as an unpaid blogger and going to pitch this thing to MLB. Sex sells man, play this thing up! I mean think of what my girl Hope Hicks could do there.
Blogger’s epilogue: This is literally the stupidest idea I’ve heard in a while. Look at Manfred, this guy is a Muppet. Why don’t you deal with steroids, apathy, and horrible attendance you dumb Muppet. By the way, anyone got Hope Hicks cell #
Hope Hicks–Wanna stroll with the Troll?
Day drinking has severe consequences Manfred, take a lap!
Sen-Elizabeth Warren supports reparations for Native Americans saying they should be “part of the conversation.” Love this move by Warren, great to see her taking care of her own people first! She is the definition of salt of the earth, a very hard working common person! I just hope a mosquito doesn’t suck the 0.000000000000135% of her blood that is allegedly Native American out of her body before said payments are to be distributed! I guess you could always don a headdress or claim one of the Teepee’s at Indian Grinding Rock state park belonged to your ancestors. Anyone else think it’s weird that we’re having hearings about reparations for slavery which ended 150 years ago, Native Americans; again occurring a long time ago, but nary a word about Japanese internment camps during WWII? Or maybe because they score very high on S.A.T. tests and get into our elite schools is a reparation in and of itself?
So far, Warren is the only one to entertain the notion of including Native Americans. “I think it’s a part of the conversation,” she said when asked whether the group should also receive some kind of relief. “I think it’s an important part of the conversation.”
Jennifer Aniston claims to have a secret crush: Sorry Jennifer your attempts to seduce me are doomed to fail, the troll has already moved on to a new woman, my sincerest regrets to you during this difficult time. May I suggest many servings of chocolate donuts and ice cream to cope with the pain? Sorry to disappoint you but you are older than I, and I have plans to have children at some point, however I hope you land on your back soon!
As a source for People says… Aniston, who was married to Brad Pitt, is definitely more cautious when it comes to dating (no surprise there), but she refuses to resist it entirely. … the former Friends star explained, “When [love] comes knocking it’s going to be welcomed.”
Update: I see you joined Courtney Cox on a beach in a very skimpy bikini at age 50, you do look amazing, I’m happy you were able to take this rejection in stride.
Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders seated behind one another on a plan to Miami: Sanders was seated in front of Warren, just another example of white privilege if you ask me! I guess one good thing is neither could argue who sat further to the left of the other! No word if Joe Biden was sitting behind Warren copying them both, we will wait for confirmation of this before reporting. Oh, word is Biden alleges that he is part Italian and that’s why his Roman hands come so natural to him.
Awkwardly, progressive rivals Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-VT, and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass, were spotted Friday on the same packed flight.
Sanders — unsurprisingly — was seated on the far left of the plane, as he could be in the window seat of the plane. Warren was also in a window seat, one row behind her opponent.
Warren appeared to be reading something in the photograph, while Sanders was staring out the window.
Oregon Governor calls on state police to arrest and return GOP lawmakers to the capital: Gov. Kate Brown sent out the state police to arrest them and bring them back to vote on a green energy cap and trade bill…..good, not like police have anything better to do. Like you know arresting murderers, robbers, writing tickets, investigating stuff…you know cop things? I assume BLM championed this effort saying the “purge will stop for a couple days.” Anyway, a right wing group offered to buy escorts for the lawmakers in case the police showed up to bring them back to the capital. I’m a big escort guy, actually I may head up to Oregon and pretend to be a lawmaker…oh wait not that kind of escort? I’m out, never mind.
Eleven Republican senators fled the Legislature — and in some cases, the state — to thwart the passage of a cap-and-trade proposal that would dramatically lower greenhouse gas emissions by 2050. The minority GOP caucus wants the plan to be sent to voters instead of being instituted by lawmakers — but negotiations with Democrats collapsed, leading to a headline-grabbing walkout.
No word on whether Republicans fleeing to California can claim sanctuary status.
AOC calls immigrant detention facilities at the border concentration camps: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a national treasure. Talk about a gift that keeps giving….scratch that, she is like a mosquito, each time you swat it away it comes back with a vengeance. Hell of a take by her I may add…glad to see we are bringing concentration camps back, maybe ole Hitler was on to something here! No word if these “concentration camps” have a public shower, or a crematorium on site, also no word on if a fence surrounds the camp with the words “Work will set you free” transcribed on the top. Not to be outdone Yad Vashim of the Holocaust research center called her out on the explicit links to the Nazi Germany, she was unapologetic. Sick part here, and a history lesson for you AOC, concentration camps were for hard labor, torture, and extermination (Death for any liberal reading this). Unreal you actually might believe that your statement is true. Anyone think the liberals will wipe the holocaust part out of the history books next? Why not? Nazis were National Socialists just like many of our elected Democrats in Congress.
”The United States is running concentration camps on our southern border and that is exactly what they are – they are concentration camps – and if that doesn’t bother you,” Ocasio-Cortez said as she throws up her hands.
”I want to talk to the people that are concerned enough with humanity to say that we should not — that ‘Never Again’ means something,” ?the New York Democrat said in a Q&A posted on politicsnowadays’ Instagram page.
Ocasio-Cortez, a self-described Democratic socialist, went on to call President Trump a “fascist” for carrying out such policies against immigrants. ?
“I don’t use those words lightly. I don’t use those words to just throw bombs,” ?she continued. “I use the word because that’s what an administration that creates concentration camps is.? A presidency that creates concentration camps is fascist and it’s very difficult to say that.”
Joe Biden praises the work of former segregationist Fritz Hollings: “He never called me boy, he always called me son.” Wow, say it ain’t so Joe, there you go again. When Cory Booker, who fancies himself the arbiter of all things race these days called on Biden to apologize, Joe gave it back saying Booker should apologize. In case you missed it, Joe has been on the frontlines for blacks his entire life, calling Barack Obama “well-spoken without that negro dialect.” Yep, while John Kerry was winning the Vietnam MVP award for being a one man wrecking crew, Biden has always been on the frontlines for blacks….sheesh. By the way there term “boy” is a very derogatory thing to say to a black person.
Joe Biden’s touching tribute to Fritz Hollings
Speaking of Biden versus the rest of the 2020 field
As far as we know, none of these rivals will have to explain away friendships with segregationists, vocal opposition to school busing, heavy involvement in crafting harsh crime legislation, and yeoman service on behalf of the financial-services industry, among other items on Biden’s long résumé.
The “Lorax Tree” falls in California: like the rest of my childhood, everything is falling or burning to the ground. I am willing to guarantee this is the work of a far right wing logging company putting profit over our history! It enrages me how these big businesses can just wipe Dr. Seuss off the earth! As a side note, visit Santa Cruz, you see people (stoners) that look like the Lorax everywhere….that thing tripped me out during my childhood.
While a single tree’s death is not usually cause for concern, this particular Monterey cypress had a literary legacy. The arboreal giant was said to have inspired the iconic Dr. Seuss story “The Lorax,” which was published in 1971.
The tree stood in Ellen Browning Scripps Park, near where Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss was a pen name) lived with his wife Audrey from 1948 until his death in 1991.
Editor’s note: Dr. Seuss also wrote Horton Hears a Who. This is the book that teaches that “A person is person, no matter how small.” As such, Liberals might have torn-down this historic monument to the good doctor because of his clearly pro-life position all the back in 1954.
OJ Simpson joins Twitter: What a time to be alive! The juice is fresh outta jail and now he is able to talk directly to his supporters, he wants to set the record straight. I look forward to the daily tweets updating the progress to find the real killer, and I’m glad the lead detective is back on the case. I fired up the burner account and figured I’d ask him a couple softball questions…”Have you ever been so mad you could kill someone?” “If you indeed were the killer, how would you have killed Nicole Brown?” He responded by blocking my account, thanks for nothing you lying fraud, why do I have a sneaky suspicion you are the actually killer?
OJ Simpson in Nevada 2013
Days after the 25th anniversary of the murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman, OJ Simpson has reportedly launched a Twitter account.
In the account, there is a video post in which the former football star, who was the prime suspect in the murders and ultimately acquitted of the crime after a televised trial, says he has got a “little gettin’ even to do”.
Oh more O.J. news as his pathologist, Henry Lee, is now a proven pathological liar.
Henry Lee with his awards for brilliant work
But Lee’s history of problems with evidence—intentional or not—doesn’t begin and end with Henning and Birch. The 81-year-old world-renowned forensic scientist—who has appeared on dozens of crime TV shows and documentaries—has allegedly hidden evidence or given incorrect testimony in at least three other cases, potentially sending the wrong men to prison and allowing guilty ones to walk free, according to court documents and other legal sources.
In 1995, Lee shot to international fame when he appeared as the star forensics witness during the televised O.J. Simpson trial, where he challenged the Los Angeles Police Department’s handling of blood samples. During the trial, Lee testified that blood was likely placed onto Simpson’s socks while they were lying flat, rather than when someone was wearing them. He said a critical blood stain was improperly handled, creating a smear on a paper evidence holder, and bolstering the defense’s claim that cops tampered with the still-wet sample. “The only opinion I can give under these circumstances is something [is] wrong,” Lee said.
Darden, who was then Marcia Clark’s right-hand man in the case, claims O.J.’s lawyers told Lee to use the memorable-but-vague phrase during a court break. “It was a stretch… He shouldn’t have said anything up there that wasn’t based in science,” Darden told me. “But he has a whole shtick and juries like him.” Indeed, some jurors later called Lee’s testimony a major factor in Simpson’s acquittal.
Darden said of Lee’s testimony. “It was bullshit, not science.”
Rat falls from the ceiling at a Buffalo Wild Wings: Gross, first of all you have to keep the rats locked up in the cage and the secret to a good Philly cheesesteak (on the menu by the way) is to thinly sliced rat meat, a little wiz or provolone, with some peppers and onions, and a toasted hoagie roll! Just kidding everything about Philadelphia is trash…hence filthadelphia. But really that did happen at DB-dubs and we are lucky to be getting one here in Elk Grove soon!
Former Rep Joe Sestak runs for president: If you don’t recognize the name he served 4 years in congress, he is a former admiral, and he lost a senate race…which in today’s Democrat Party makes you equally qualified to run. He opened saying “Americans most want today is someone who is accountable to them, above self, above party, above any special interest,…a president who has the depth of global experience to restore America’s leadership in the world to protect our American Dream at home.” Whoa this guy is a pioneer…every candidate for president of office says that about themselves. Sounds like Joe is just trying to angle for 30th place in the primary…maybe a participation trophy? He also will be skipping the first debates this week…. I feel like Pepper Johnson from dodgeball “Bold strategy Joe hope it works out for you.” By the way ever seen Sestak and George Stephanopoulos in the same room? I know there is inbreeding in the Democrat Party but man what a doppelgänger for Sestak!
Former Clinton Foundation member Eric Braverman goes missing: Thankfully this was debunked as fake news, I thought for certain Eric was dead of “natural causes” a typical death for former Clinton aides and allies. Which as reported earlier is now a legal means of death in Washington state…..no word on if he rejected Bill Clinton’s advances before leaving the foundation. Speaking of foundations, maybe we should dig up a couple of those under the numerous houses they own? Maybe the bodies are buried there?
Eric Braverman
Bill and Hillary Clinton have faced a number of scandals and conspiracy theories over the years, and ones about the family’s nonprofit charity continue to proliferate on the internet.
One popular and often-resurrected rumor alleges former Clinton Foundation CEO Eric Braverman has been missing for an extended period of time after revealing Clinton secrets.
The full claim, posted to Facebook, reads: “Why is the mainstream media silent about the fact that former CEO of the Clinton Foundation has been missing for 70+ days and is rumored to be the source who said ‘follow the money & find the real HRC scandal’? WHERE IS ERIC BRAVERMAN?!”
Pop singer Madonna wants to challenge the Pope regarding Jesus’ views on Abortion: Yes, the washed-up, living in the past artist is demanding a meeting with the Pope because apparently Jesus supported abortion. I liken her views to those who attend soccer games; many attend, few understand. This view has been held by the church since its existence. I’m not sure which book, chapter, or passage these remarks were based on, but I’m sure she will tell us.
The 60-year-old “Queen of Pop,” who grew up Catholic, said she wants to change the Vatican’s stance on reproductive rights.
“Let’s talk about Jesus’ point of view about women. Let’s talk about it,” said Madonna during an interview Tuesday with Australian talk show host Andrew Denton.
“Don’t you think Jesus would agree that a woman has the right to choose what to do with her body?”
Madonna was born Catholic but now she is into fringe Jewish mysticism, Kabbalah. My experience is that Jewish folks don’t have much use for Jesus unless they’re named is Bob Zimmerman. However, the twice divorced mother of six seems to think she is a paragon of virtue.
I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t party. I’m quite square,” she told James Corden … in 2016, saying off-stage she’s more like Julie Andrews.
I would love to be a fly on the wall should this meeting ever take place, mostly because I believe this social justice loving pope will likely give in. Don’t believe me? Attend a Catholic church lately? In the Catholic church the most confessed sin prior to death is abortion. Heck the Holy Father just agreed to make changes to the Lord’s Prayer, which has been around forever, based on a translation error! That being said, the only place in the Bible that talks about abortion being legal is on a page where it was handwritten by someone.
Finally: Hope Hicks was grilled about her love life during congressional hearing: Dog and pony show is a better way to describe this….led by pants to his pectorals Jarrold Nadler, who repeatedly, repeatedly called my girl Hope Hicks Mrs. Lewandowski. Because of a rumor she dated him. First of all, Nadler she isn’t married nor did she date that greasy scum! Second, maybe you should concern yourself with your wardrobe as much as you are concerned with her love life. As her internet boyfriend, I suggest you cease and desist immediately. You are nothing more than New Jersey trash trying to stay relevant, sadly no one knows who you are, most likely no Jersey Shore cast before recognizing you! Seriously she is a former Ralph Lauren model who frankly you should take some advice from on fashion since your wardrobe appears to be circa 1970.
Hope Hicks
Secondly Hicks is beautiful, I mean look at her. Whatever the hell she is selling, I’m buying it. If you’re wondering, we are out on salsa bar girl after a deliberate attempt to dump excess grease on my plate, in a wild attempt to lubricate my insides, hence I’ve moved on! Can anyone get a troll a job at Fox….maybe in the communication department…maybe as executive assistant to the department chair…just putting it out there. Maybe I should tweet the Trumpstah he could negotiate a deal I can see her in the….ok that’s enough of the troll for this month
“What’s up ya bastads. It’s me, the troll. My folks are gone for the three-day weekend, so I’m back for my take on the news that needs abuse.”
Rep. Jarrold Nadler faints while at a news conference with Bill De Blasio.
Jarrold Nadler takes a dive
I guess he was reacting live after reading the non-redacted Mueller Report!? Must stink when you pin all your hopes on collusion and its literally gone in a few minutes. I do hope he had to wait at the ER for 3 or 4 hours like the rest of us plebes living under Obamacare; at least then, he’d get a taste of his own medicine. Oh, wait, Congress exempts themselves from the same laws that they expect us to live under; especially when it comes to benefits and insider trading. You don’t really think they come out of Congress as millionaires because the salary is so great, do you? Also, that’s got to be a sociopathic move wearing your pants up to your pectorals, but maybe it’s a New Jersey fashion thing?
Rachel Madcow
Lastly, anyone want to take a bet that mad Rachel Maddow will report that Nadler hit the deck as the result of an older white male wearing a Make America Great Again hat brandishing a firearm?
Bradley/Chelsea binary manifestations of same person
The con artist pardoned by Obama Is headed back to the joint for refusing to testify against fellow Benedict Arnold, Julian Assange. This “person”, actually I should call Manning “a thing,” used to be an intelligence analyst for the army. Doesn’t seem too intelligent to me ignoring a Grand Jury’s order to testify but neither is chopping off your manhood. Manning will now head to jail, no word on which gender he/she/it will select or identify with while in prison, but I don’t think Obama can grant a pardon again!
You just can’t fix stupid and some people have a terminal case. Maybe an appropriate punishment would be having to live in Assange’s poop stained, dirty as hell room with no Internet in the Ecuadorian Embassy. Does our federal prison system cover a sex change if it decides it wants to become a man again or is that only in our fine correction system in here California? I hear California’s prisoner medical care is second only to that given to members of Congress. Regardless, I really wish this idiot would take a long walk off a short pier.
This is really bizarre; you can be ground up like hamburger and made into compost. This really is strange. Sounds like burial by The Sopranos.
Like how trippy would it be? Aunt Ethel dies, you get this compost, spread it around your cherry tree, and later harvest the fruit which is very bitter…just like Aunt Ethel! Or spread around your pot plants, and watch them die…how ironic would that be? How soon until this becomes the choice of serial killers all over the world? I can picture the call to police, “The dead person I’m reporting? She was adopted and I have no indication of any next of kin…grind‘em up please!” What if they did this to the guy who played fat bastard in Austin Powers?
Austin Powers fat bastard
Can you order your compost like you get ground beef? 93% lean or 80% lean? That state is trippy, and not just because they legalized pot. This seems like a great loophole for the mob to use.
Editor’s Note: This law sounds like a strange cross of Dorothea Puente and the movie Fargo. If only Dorothea had run the old people thru the woodchipper first and then planted them in her garden, she’d be righteous. Then she could have continued collection their Social Security just as long as the dead still voted Democrat. She was just ahead of the times. Speaking of that, Charlton Heston was a prophet of the future because now Soylent Green isn’t just people, its grandma.
Elephant Bar restaurant in Citrus Heights to close.
Elephant Bar in Campbell
I assume this means the bar part of the restaurant too? Is this discriminatory against fat people? They should be able to congregate somewhere too. I guess this means every brand with connections to the Republican Party (Elephant) is leaving California, what a sad time to be a member of that party in this state.
Mississippi state representative Doug Macleod punches his wife in the face after taking too long to undress to have intercourse with him.
This is the ultimate power move, talk about an Alpha male…. when the broads get out of line punch ‘em in the face! Don’t even stop to think that women have an extra article of clothing to remove, just punch ‘em! Or maybe this guy could mix in a little blue pill, and just seek medical assistance if it lasts longer than 4 hours! Imagine what this guy would do if he ordered a hooker….wow just wow. I’m sure the police report is pure gold…yeah, she took too long to remove her pants…so yeah, I punched her! I tell you what, if he did this to that little minx at the salsa bar, Johnny Does jail time would be an interesting blog…maybe William can suggest it?
The worst kept secret of the 20th Century is out again, a news story was published over the weekend that civil rights icon, Martin Luther King, cheated on his wife with 40 to 45 different women–many that the FBI has on tape. He also participated in orgies and rape. J. Edgar Hoover had him dead to rights, but I guess Attorney General, Bobby Kennedy, didn’t see what the big deal was.
FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover
The tape sounded like a typical weekend at the Kennedy Compound. Heck had things turned out differently, Uncle Teddy and Chris Dodd would probably invite King over to share a sandwich or two. Maybe Dr. King had a different dream that he never shared publicly about a blond, a redhead, and a brunet all peacefully frolicking together…. Anyway, King is quoted in the article as telling one of the women that what he was about to do was good for her soul. So, when she screams, “Oh, god” he adds his “Hallelujah”? Not letting reality get in the way of a useful narrative, I don’t think King will be added to the pound metoo list.
That will do it for this installment of troll on the news. I’m going to head back under my bridge; hopefully a homeless man didn’t execute a hostile takeover since I left!
Disclaimer: this is a mostly satirical reaction by a fake journalist to real news.
Bloggers note: Troll loves to crawl out from under his bridge and no one is immune from his satirical attacks! He will react to the news and give his award-winning commentary.
First up: The College Bribery scandal
Troll says: The real winner here is University of Southern California (USC) this is the first time they have ever been referred to as an “elite university.” We are all stunned “Aunt Becky”–who by the way is a (pound) #metoo member in Troll’s eyes–was involved in purchasing college admission for her otherwise unqualified daughter. It must be horrible your daughter couldn’t use her looks to get into school and needed your cash to be popular.
Internet search says this is Aunt Becky but I’ve never seen the show so here’s hoping–Editor
I am stunned because let’s revisit the cast of that show and see how Troll thinks should have been targeted in this case: Uncle Jesse: This slicked-back hair looking Fonzi wannabe would have been my first guess, he looks like he is so dirty you would have to take a shower after dealing with him. However, his being married to Aunt Becky makes him an accomplice. Bob Sagat: This guy is as pure as Aquafina, unless someone took a dump upstream, but no reason to suspect him. Uncle Joey: That dude was always coked-out on something every show he was on. Making weird noises and voices, and the kids all loved him, I would have suspected him honestly. Kimmy Gibbler: no chance, but she trolled as hard as I did the entire show, so yeah, I guess you better include her.
Colorado AG says Sheriffs who won’t enforce anti-gun law must re-sign
Colorado’s attorney general testified last week that county sheriffs vowing not to enforce the state’s proposed anti-gun “red flag” bill should “resign” — a challenge that threatened to ramp up tensions between state officials and local leaders who were already creating droves of so-called Second Amendment “sanctuary counties” to resist the legislation. Democrat Phil Weiser made the remarks, which were first reported by The Colorado Sun, while testifying before a state committee on Friday. Weiser has said that the red flag legislation, which would permit a court to the seizure of weapons from people determined to be a threat to others or themselves, would save lives, particularly in domestic violence situations.
“If a sheriff cannot follow the law, the sheriff cannot do his or her job,” Weiser said. “The right thing to do for a sheriff who says, ‘I can’t follow the law’ is to resign.”
Troll says: This clown AG Phil Weiser should be the poster boy for why expectant mothers should refrain from using alcohol. I take that back, he looks like a hairline receding black haired Howdy Doody. By the way, the Troll is most offended by this comment: “If a sheriff cannot follow the law, he or she must resign.” How completely insensitive! How can you possibly assume the genders don’t include one of the other five! (72 if you believe Facebook). You racist, sexist, idiot! Thanks for mansplaining all this to me. Yes, disarming citizens is brilliant, you ignorant chump. Anyone want to take bets this useless human has armed security with him at all times?
R. Kelly bailed out of jail for the second time accused of sexually assaulting minors.
On Friday evening, hours after the charges were announced in a press conference by Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx, Kelly turned himself in to Chicago police. On Saturday, Kelly attended bond court, where the judge set his bond at $1 million — or, $250,000 for each of the four alleged victims. EW has confirmed that on Monday evening, Kelly posted the $100,000 bail and left police custody. Per the Associated Press, a condition of his release is that he is forbidden from having any contact with females under the age of 18.
Kelly said, “I promise you we are going to straighten all this stuff out.” Troll says: He was bailed out by a restaurant owner, is sausage on the menu there? Why didn’t this Kelly guy take up a job in the clergy? I believe this kind of behavior is a promotable offense! All the young boys your heart desires. I guess you could say he was keeping the spirit of Christmas going year-round? Tis far better to give then receive? Or perhaps he was just channeling his inner Michael Jackson.
Editor’s note: I can’t tell if Troll was just trolling R. Kelly or getting him confused with the comments this week by Barbra Streisand. Streisand defended Michael Jackson like no one else.
She also said, of Jackson, “His sexual needs were his sexual needs, coming from whatever childhood he has or whatever DNA he has,” she said. “You can say ‘molested,’ but those children, as you heard them say, they were thrilled to be there,” she said. “They both married and they both have children, so it didn’t kill them.” “It’s a combination of feelings,” she said. “I feel bad for the children. I feel bad for him. I blame, I guess, the parents, who would allow their children to sleep with him.”
Troll: Well if we need our children to eat a bit more iron, what better way than this? These bags of what is “allegedly” chicken and bits were produced 4 months ago…. what took so long? Also, the use by date is November this year? Are you telling me I can’t eat those chicken strips and I haven’t reached said date yet? Oh no!
Chicken strips listening to R. Kelly song
Conclusion
What a time to be alive, while R Kelly is out on bail Aunt Becky rots in jail for paying off an admission counselor, makes you wonder if she could have “worked it off as opposed to pay the admission councilor off, Hollywood seldom frowns upon those misdeeds.” Troll
