The Troll from behind the arc!

Very seldom does the Troll put in work on a weekend, but we are short some bloggers. I came across this story and couldn’t let it go without mention because you can’t miss with this one. I say behind the arc, because every so often you have to step beyond the 3-point line and fire off a jumper!

The title of today’s special edition: 9-year-old girl tossed into the air by bison at Yellowstone National Park.

Girl airborne after bison charge–full video below

What a time to be alive! So, a group from Florida–they are the worst type by the way…just search “Florida man” on Twitter–anyway, while visiting Old Faithful they decided to get up close and personal to a wild animal. According to firsthand accounts about 50-60 people approached this bull bison while it was eating, thinking it was smart to pet it. At some point the bison…hard to believe it was agitated by this, charged at a 9-year-old girl and flung her in the air like a rag doll! I am stunned no one could have seen this coming…it’s not a zoo, these are wild animals! Signs literally say stay 25 yards from elk, bison, and deer, yet I guess the laws of probability cease to exist among this group! Look at the video…what a bananas situation!

Click arrow to play video

Reaction by troll: The article states a bunch of kids were crying…. yeah, I can’t find much reason to laugh at this story. The young girl thankfully had no serious injuries…. jury is still out on if either parent has medulla oblongata. I’ve gotta say, it’s how the adults took off leaving this girl to fend for herself…a sacrificial lamb perhaps? How was the girl thrown into the air if bison do not have arms or hands? I’m glad the parents got away unscathed would have been a real shame if any of them would have been struck by this beast. This is a great time to reach out to a sponsor, perhaps Trojan Condoms…. these are very important, as these adults should have never been conceived let alone allowed to reproduce themselves! What else could possibly explain the youngest being the sacrificial lamb in this situation? Sometimes a chlorine blast to the gene pool could do some good!

Yellowstone sign

No word from AOC on whether this bison should be euthanized yet regarding its emissions and maybe global warming had something to do with this? No word yet from Chuck Schumer on whether this bison escaped while being hunted by Donald Trump Jr. There has to be some way to tie this to President Trump, right? Perhaps its here illegally from Canada? Black Lives Matter is still silent on this one…opting to test to see if said bison is “really black.” No word from the DOJ on whether Elizabeth “chief squaw” Warren should be charged for her people not killing this bison. Bernie Sanders wants to know why this bison was allowed into the park without paying the entrance fee! Also does it have healthcare…. if so, how is it paying?

Barack Obama is still trying to figure out why the bison wasn’t killed on the spot since all people in fly-over country cling to their guns and religion? Maybe this attack was just the bison’s coping mechanism for dealing with President Trump…I need answers!!!!! Jarrold Nadler better not bring Hope Hicks into this or I may need to call in a favor from friend of the blog, OJ Simpson!!!!!! Between him and Ray Lewis I think I’ve got the murder and coverup handled…imagine the legal team we could afford! When Obama said “Hope and Change”, I should have paid more attention…change my girlfriend and date a girl named Hope…got it….!

My parting shots: keep your head on a swivel kid! The angel of death is always hovering about, looking for his next victim…I’m assuming gender here but bear with me…or should I say bison with me LOL. Keep your head on a swivel!!!!!!!!!!