Official Statement on Website “Suspension”

I tried to log on to the site Wednesday morning this past week and to my dismay I was greeted with a screen reading “account suspended.” I was absolutely befuddled.

Did Elon Musk file a cease and desist on the BlogFather? Did useless skid mark on societies underpants Jarrold Nadler order this? Did the Russians finally hack a website to influence an election? Did Britney from the salsa bar do this as a jilted former flame? Did Twitter suspend this website like they suspended Chief’s Twitter account? Did the “FBI surveillance van” finally get the BlogFather? Did PG&E blow up the website like they blow up houses in San Bruno? The BlogFather took my phone call and at first, we thought maybe Aaron Park did this…but we concluded Aaron couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag if you gave him directions, so scratch him off the list. BlogFather being the guy that he is, straightened this all out…and it was a dumb error on the providers part, however, we are back, and the suspension had nothing to do with us.

However, since I am a Troll, I figure Nadler had something to do with it…based on pure jealousy of this internet Troll. He is mad at me because ope Hicks is into me and not him. I get it, he feels he is big and powerful and I’m just a Troll. First of all, Nadler, Hicks doesn’t even want to look at your greasy, pants to your pecs, Jersey trash self. Especially if you get a look at me…I look like I was carved out of marble…I’m so good I oughta be illegal…I also double as talent on loan from God. So as long as God doesn’t call his loan anytime soon, she is mine Nadler! Hmmm… Just to make you even more mad Nadler, not only is Trump 100% innocent and going to get re-elected, but I have also requested to see my girlfriend Hope “stretching” like in this photo. Also be advised, as someone from Tennessee, she has told me “I’m the only 10 she sees.”

Hope Hicks puts the Fox in Fox News

Additional housekeeping: Turns out the FBI surveillance van is just someone’s fancy name for a home Wi-Fi network…lame! I figured he was going to jail, and I would be the new owner of this blog…Sad! In regards to Chief, I made contact with him and his Twitter was suspended initially for tweeting at real OJ Simpson things like “how’s the search for the real killer going” and “If you did kill Nicole Brown would you have done it the same way?” He also added he has been suspended again for trying to start a to buy OJ a mirror so he can identify the real killer and sending him a tweet and asking him to retweet it. I guess that is frowned upon in this establishment! I’m sorry OJ, you will be dealing with my constant trolling, I’m sure its way worse than what you did to Nicole Brown


Here are additional photos of the beautiful future Mrs. Troll, Hope Hicks

White House communications director Hope Hicks
Vintage Hope Hicks

Editor’s note: Troll failed to provide referenced photos of Hope Hicks in time for the publishing deadline so I had to improvise with my own selection. When searching the Internet for Hope Hicks, I found that many beautiful women wish they were mistaken for her.

Hope Hicks caresses Troll’s passionate letter