Johnnie Does – Page 9

Johnnie Does: Side Burn BBQ & Brew

Editor’s Note: Johnnie Does is an irregular feature on this blog. Whenever Johnnie has a bone to pick with someone or something and just has to vent by writing about it, he sends it my way. Today, Johnnie presents a food review of a recent lunch at a Dickey-less BBQ establishment.

About a month ago, the Dickey’s BBQ in Elk Grove suddenly closed. It was strange. They were overpriced but the food was generally decent. I frequented the joint about 4 times a year. Truth be told—like any BBQ joint–it all comes down to how much people like your cue’ sauces. There are many different styles of BBQ and I’m not here to educate…so let’s get to the food!

I learned that the old Dickey’s was re-opening as a “Side Burn BBQ and Brew.” This was intriguing; I thought a new independent store was opening. I found out upon my arrival that the local Dickey’s franchisee Jared (omitting his last name) closed all 7 of his local stores (none were Subways) and started his own brand! Good for him!

I entered the venue and found it to be basically the same as the old Dickey’s. The only changes I noticed; no more ice cream machine, and all the references to Dickey’s were removed. Besides a fresh coat of paint and a menu board with a few changes, not much was noticeable in the differences department. The menu, however, was noticeably dissimilar with many new meat items added and sides as well, but the old Dickey’s concept was present overall; the board, large baked potatoes, meat plate combos, pre-selected meat sandwich combos, etc. The prices were similar or maybe even higher than the old Dickey’s…I found this odd; especially since the article I read about the re-launch stated that the change was due in part because the franchisee wasn’t making much $$$ as a Dickey’s owner. They serve BBQ burritos…odd, and only do tri-tip on Tuesdays, and beef ribs only on Saturdays. I don’t understand the burrito thing; I really don’t get limited choices available only on certain days. I get it when a store does a daily special or deal of the day, but limiting a menu item to one day a week seems misplaced. What if someone raved about the tri-tip, and on Friday night I swing by your joint and am told you only serve it once a week?

They are going with the new trend among younger people with the whole “locally sourced thing.” I think it’s a mistake, when people go to a BBQ joint I don’t think they care if their chicken is from a Vietnamese market in South Sacramento or one from MacLean, Virginia. They probably also don’t care if it was raised anti-biotic free or not. I am calling BS on a couple of these “local companies” Harris Ranch does their beef products; they are from Bakersfield, almost 6 hours away. I don’t call that local to the Sacramento area. The chicken is from Petaluma, so I’ll give that t them, but I don’t get the anti-biotic free and free ranged raised thing. The pork is from Smithfield Farms…yes the company owned by the Chinese and based in Virginia. Not local, also I know a local rancher who basically said they are bottom line in terms of quality. Max’s Bakery does their bread, they have a bakery in Fresno, but I don’t really care who bakes my bread, I’m fine with a roll from the local grocer or Sysco truck. Mi Rancho makes their tortilla’s, they are opening a factory in Elk Grove, doesn’t get more local then that! But how many burritos is a BBQ joint serving up? Silva Sausages are local, however they are very bottom end, Safeway will sell me a 4 pack of sausages, not on sale mind you for $4. Color me unimpressed.

I went with the pork sandwich with coleslaw, when asked if I wanted to add two sides for $5 extra I balked, the total ticket would have been over $12. My sando…I guess that hipster for sandwich was $6.50. My counterpart in the office ordered a two item plate, which came with two sides and cornbread or a roll for $13. He chose jalapeno jack sausage and brisket. Apparently they serve two kinds of brisket, juicy or dry, he chose juicy. For his sides he chose hatch mac and cheese, and red skinned mashed potatoes.

The concept is set up the same as Dickey’s; similar to a Chipotle except we had to order and pay first. Only one other person was in the store. We wanted to watch our food being assembled but we were shooed away which was interesting considering there are low counters conducive to being able to watch the sausage being made, pardon the pun. Our food arrived, we both looked disgusted….this was like being told you’re getting a filet mignon and out comes a Salisbury steak. My sando was a burger bun, no more than 4 oz of pulled pork, two Vlassic pickle slices and one red onion circle.

Notice the word circle not slab. I took one bite and immediately ran to the BBQ sauce and doused it. The meat was so bland and flavorless!

My counterpart’s dish was no better. His brisket was dry, and again in bad need of sauce, his sausage was a bigger joke, he got about 4 slices of sausage, cut diagonally to appear like a larger serving. The mashed potatoes were out of a box, guaranteed, no way those aren’t instant mashed potatoes found at your local hospital or retirement home. The mac and cheese was a bigger joke, it was Kraft for certain with a couple hatch chili shavings in it. His cornbread…well we don’t know because a roll came out instead.

Overall, without a doubt average BBQ, average setting playing pop music as opposed to country or western music. Prices way too high, and in general I was so unimpressed. It was only day two since they opened but as stated earlier only 1 other patron was in the store at 12:30, not a good sign for high lunch hour.

Best of luck, but I have a feelin’ ya’ll be closin’ soon,

Johnnie Does

Johnnie Does a Frozen Dinner

By Johnnie Does…

Greetings, if you don’t know me I’m actually a very good cook, as proclaimed by a former professional chef I know. Things took a rare turn this week and I felt the need to blog about it. As a Safeway club card member I received a free offer, or as the Blog Father would say…an offer I couldn’t refuse, for a PF Chang’s frozen dinner for 2 meal for a low, low cost of FREE. Free? Whoa! That’s weird! I perused the aisles and discovered about 8 choices for said free meal, there was a shrimp one (yeah no) an orange chicken one (basically panda express) nope, I finally settled on Mongolian Beef. The bag seemed small, but I returned to my dwelling, opened said bag and into the frying pan it went. Don’t know why it’s called a frying pan when it sits over a burner, but oh well, away I went. I took a gander at the ingredients; and was pleasantly surprised; beef with sweet and savory sauce, onions, string beans, and red bell peppers not a bad combination at all. I immediately recognized the beef, string beans and red bell peppers, I didn’t understand the odd brown blocks that looked like Lego’s. After a few minutes of cooking it all came into focus, the sauce was frozen into the Lego looking bricks.

After about 15 minutes in a “frying pan” again…whoa that’s weird, the meal was ready and transferred to a plate. I was not able to obtain the brown almost bamboo esque plate in the “serving suggestion” on the front of the bag, nor was I able to acquire the fancy looking chopsticks, so a generic white plate, and a small fork were used. All my large forks were in a cleaning device most call a dishwasher.

The meal was actually very good, sauce was great, the string beans and bell peppers had a nice crunch and great taste, the beef was right on point. I would go a solid 7.8 out of 10 on this meal. Again not an everyday staple but an every so often when the girlfriend or wife is gone and I need something quick and easy (other than a hooker) I would buy this one.

My big drawback was the meal is that it’s not big enough for 2, it barely fed me…….Blog Father will collaborate my story I’m an average looking (besides the face for radio) 6 foot 200lb man… and it barely fed me. Which is fine, but the branding of a meal for 2….unless you’re feeding Lindsay Lohan and yourself epic fail. The cost when not free didn’t seem too out of line, $8.99 for the meal. Every so often I see Raley’s advertisements saying $5 on certain Mondays. 310 calories per serving, which means 620 for me, because I ate the whole meal, not complaining, but yeah I would go for it again.

Johnnie Does

San Francisco coming this week.

Johnnie Does Drug Addiction

By Johnnie Does…

Addiction is a horrible thing, it changes people right in front of your very eyes. This is a real life account of 2 friends I’ve had to say goodbye to in the last 5 months. By saying goodbye, I don’t mean they are no longer with us, quite the contrary, but they may not be with us much longer if they continue following the same trajectory they are on now. I’ve had a relationship with the Blog Father for about a decade now, and he can attest first hand I am by no means perfect, and share his traits of being a slower learner, I am also very trusting, which led to my downfall.

The first is a former girlfriend of mine. We dated for over a year and a half, including her living in my house. We got along great and shared many similar beliefs. It was almost too good to be true…because it was.

I made clear when we began dating that I have a zero tolerance policy on any type of drug. I don’t care if California says it’s legal. She claimed to understand. Things were great at first and then things got weird after she broke her foot. She instantly dropped her two night college classes and took a semester of unpaid leave from her job working at an elementary school.

This seemed pretty drastic as the Blog Father or myself would be expected to report to work within hours of the cast being set. I felt bad for her and let her sleep in the other bedroom on a futon and have her own bathroom. I screwed up.

One day I was cleaning my house and was going to clean her bathroom next. Once she understood my intention, she got off the couch, ran by me using speed that would make a prospective college football recruit jealous and declared her bathroom off limits to me. Whoa! That’s Weird! I relented, blaming myself saying I should have asked. I figured that it could have been a feminine thing she was worried about me finding…again I was wrong.

One night I was up late doing laundry (my laundry closet is located next to her bathroom) when my eyes started burning and I was pretty much sobbing uncontrollably. I thought I might be going blind but it turned out to be nothing. A few days later I came home from dinner with a friend, and with bladder at maximum capacity, I used her bathroom. I noticed a pink pipe and marijuana on my counter, in my house! She declared it was her mothers and produced a text message saying as much. Her mother wanted her to buy product off a co-worker. Sounded plausible, and her mother told me she was known to crank the hoon every so often, I mistakenly believed her.

One night I returned home from work late (9 pm) and was greeted to a locked garage door and when I obtained access via my key, the front door flung open and someone ran out, it was her. She claimed she had to put something in her car, looking back on it, likely weed. In her haste, she left her journal out on the table open faced that night and I decided if it’s open then the perception of privacy is gone. I was stunned at what I read. The comments were primarily about doing weed brownies, edibles, smoking, and vaping, pretty much everything I said no to at the beginning of our relationship. It was like a pre-pubescent rebellious teenager only she was 27.

I called her out and she denied everything saying its things she desired. Again she reiterated that she has never done any of that since we dated. I believed what she said in spite of the evidence. And yeah that’s like strike 9 for me. Again, I’m a self-admitted slow learner. Well things continued to get worse and she finally walked out.

A couple weeks after she moved out, my mother was helping me get my house in order. She began cleaning the bathroom used by my ex when suddenly, mom screamed. I ran in to see what had distressed her and she said, “What is this pile behind the toilet?” It was a pile of weed, likely 6 inches in height, and a foot in diameter. Liar.

While gathering the debris left behind by the ex from my house, I picked up a box of feminine napkins and as I set it down I heard a clank; yep, a glass pipe found inside. Never smoked huh? I undertook a painting project later and painted the spare bedroom she used for a few months. When moving the bed, I found a large pile of ashes from her smoking weed. Literally, feet from carpet, and highly flammable bedding, also feet from a CA required smoke detector, conveniently located in each bedroom. Yes that is right, she was cranking the hoon just feet from a device specifically designed to detect said smoking. Then the big one was this past weekend, I cut my finger on a mirror and reached for a band aid, and found a vape pen. My trust had cost me, I was a fool, unreal.

Commentary: concerning my ex
You could have a great future; but you need to get your life’s priorities in order. You have no money after the 20th of each month due to your addiction. You had no bills or obligations while living here. You even shared in your journal that you crank the hoon with your co-workers at lunch. Hopefully this isn’t true because if it is you are felony stupid. That behavior is still illegal around schools and your dream of being a teacher will go up in flames faster than your next joint. You are living a lie and are in need of a reality check. You possess no degree or full time work, this is due to your own laziness and addiction. I know you read this blog and I will now tell you something that should upset you far more than anything else. You wanted to get married and that dream was going to become a reality. I was set to speak to the Blog Father during lunch together somewhere (I consider him a spiritual and personal mentor) and ask his guidance. If he signed off, I was fully ready to ask your father for his approval and then ask for your hand in marriage. You made the job easy, congrats. Quit cranking the hoon, grab a book, maybe read it.

The second example involves a friend of mine closer to 80 than 60. We met through church and are both in a religious group. I have known him for 15 years, maybe more. He has a serious drinking problem, specifically the grape. I would be remiss to say I didn’t share a few nights having more then I probably should but for this guy it’s a way of life. Things for him have deteriorated quickly over the last few months. He had to have serious leg surgery and thankfully he didn’t lose his leg, but he was rendered pretty immobile and unable to work. So I helped out, even going as far as going across town to get him food with nary a thank you or sign of gratitude.

On my last visit he stated he needed food and was hungry. I told him I’ll have Safeway deliver groceries and said I would even pay. I asked, “What do you want?” He answered negatively. I didn’t quite understand this. He insisted on me picking him up on my lunch break and taking him to Safeway. Keep in mind the closest Safeway to him is 20 minutes away, his house is 25 minutes from where I work and I have one hour for lunch. The math doesn’t work out.

It was during this time that I found out who I was in his life, the errand boy, also known as another term for a female dog. I told him “No” so he found some other sucker to do the job; this person also is a friend of mine. My friend drove him to Foods Co 30 minutes from his house, to get 3 items, yeah you read that right 3 items.

Around July 4th our church was having a fundraiser selling a hot dog, chips, and a soda for $5 to benefit the church. Sure as the sky is blue he called me and said “shut up and listen” Whoa! That’s Weird! “Get me 10 hot dogs, no buns, chips, and a couple sodas. Tell them it’s free for me.” Yep, next level arrogance there. Keep in mind I attend service at 7:30, nowhere near 12:00 when said BBQ was going to be going on. He knows this. But like anyone with an addiction issue, it did not deter him. He called me later that night. I sent the call to voicemail. I was done with him. He started “crying” on the phone saying “I’m hungry, and you need to help a fellow brother in need” “Where are the hot dogs? I need food.” Yeah, I never retrieved said hot dogs. It was a fundraiser not a take advantage of us opportunity. Sorry dude. No pay, no play.

He called me the following Friday during my lunch, leaving a voicemail, saying you need to leave work early, get me food and just explain it later to my boss. Yeah I would get terminated instantly for cause, all for what? He saw me at a meeting (a church one) and had an ear to ear grin, saying hey dude, I want some of that good wine (I’m the head bartender at our events) I poured him a glass, and told him leave me alone and to get bent. He didn’t like this one bit.

Some background on this guy. He rents a house and sublets a bedroom. He has gone through no fewer than 10 roommates in the last decade, getting along with none of them.

He called me later that night, and again the following 2 Sundays leaving voicemails each time. I finally decided to call him and extend a little courtesy, so I did. He answered saying he went to church and asked God for forgiveness and that I should forgive him as a result, keep in mind no apology or change in behavior on his part. Then he claimed he was joking when he called me about the hot dogs. Yeah I told him no he wasn’t. He claimed he was drunk when he called me saying to leave work early, the voicemail is time stamped 12:15pm, that’s starting very early, by anyone’s standards. He then changed his story and said he has been on medication. Ummmm that’s a felony stupid reason to drink.

Realizing he was going to get nowhere with me he has decided to do what any bully tries to do, force me out via proxy. He has contacted some leadership in our group and is trying to convince them I’m not worthy to lead. That’s right, I own a house and recently cut a deal to be a part owner of a small business. Yes I’m the one with no leadership skills. His biggest accomplishment in the last 10 years is his recording 2 DUI’s, demonstrating that he has as much credibility on the leadership issue as Geoffrey the Giraffe. Here is his “chief issue” with getting me removed, I hold the #3 leadership position in this group and sadly for him I am universally loved by all members of this 257 member group, including our 2 priests. The leadership is 100% behind me, and I don’t think anyone really likes him.

Commentary: Concerning grape man
The book has pretty much been written about you already. You are in your last chapters of life. Put down the grape. If you lack the willpower to do that at least don’t start before 4 PM. It’s made you a shell of your former self. You would rather get ripped than just have a good time. You need serious help.

We went to a BBQ and you proceeded to grab 6 samples of hokee poke ahi tuna off a sample platter. Dude, take 1 or maybe 2, but 6? At the same BBQ you demanded your burger be cooked medium rare. It was a frozen patty. Dude I’m pretty sure that’s impossible and then you barked at the poor guy grilling like you were a drill sergeant. God bless him, I would have thrown the burger in your face and told you to eat poop.

As for your demand to get 10 hot dogs, just think about that for a minute……maybe a minute more. Yeah super unreasonable and to do it through proxy nonetheless. Letting the messenger look bad not the source, classic bully move. Rebuild your life. It won’t be the same but learn to accept people for who and what they are. Telling someone to leave work early because I’m hungry or saying I asked God for forgiveness so you need to forgive me is behavior straight out of the Devil’s playbook. I tend to be suspicious of folks that claim to know what God’s will for my life is especially when they didn’t get the beam out of their own eye first.

Learn these words, “I screwed up. I’m sorry. What can I do to correct this?”

Most importantly come to grips with this: you have gotten at least 2 DUI’s in the last 10 years. At your stage in life, you should be a wise and honored person in our congregation but the master you serve is on tap, you know better. You need to own-up to your problems and deal with them. You behave more like a Pharisee than a follower.

Final Thoughts
Addiction is bad, really bad. The Blog Father will second my motion saying legalizing “the hoon” was a big mistake in California. We will look back on this one day as the opening of Pandora’s Box. This will lead to the destruction of many lives. My advice to people who have loved ones who struggle with substance abuse, try to be there, but it’s not your job to ensure sobriety. Most of all, understand you need to let go. You cannot change people with substance abuse issues and don’t let them guilt trip you otherwise. Walk out of their lives like I did with my friend. Or maybe consider the health effects. Hey ex, you mentioned having kids was very important to you, have you looked at the direct link between cranking the hoon and infertility? Your eggs may not be fertile.

Maybe if you’re a junkie, or know one and you’re reading this blog, google Shaun Weiss arrest, he played Goldberg, the goalie, in the mighty ducks a movie from my childhood. He was around my age in that movie, Take a gander folks, he is 48 going on like 88.

Johnnie Does………out

Johnnie Does Jury Duty

By Johnnie Does…

Our “Johnnie does” segment depicts real life blogging of a correspondent wishing to maintain anonymity. He was given permission by the Blog Father to chronicle his exploits as long as content doesn’t turn into Johnnie Does Debbie or any female (or male) named herein; what follows is his account of jury duty.

I was called to “service” aka Jury Duty this past week. On Tuesday my group had to report, so I fired up the ole vehicle and made the trek to the Gordon Schraber Courthouse in Sacramento. (If you wish to avoid your own legal entanglements with parking enforcement, arriving early is essential.) I made my way to the juror parking lot, found a space, parked the car, and walked to the Courthouse.

As I approached the Courthouse steps, I was curious what sort of people that I might encounter during my visit. I kind of knew that the shifty and suspicious characters here to answer for their crimes entered the courthouse via a separate entrance; however, I was hoping to encounter attorneys or witnesses. I wondered whether they might try to influence their case by making me an offer that I couldn’t refuse. I’ve been known to be susceptible to the whiles of beautiful women in trouble or huge wads of cash but I found no one seeking to tip the scales of justice. Alone and somewhat disappointed, I entered the courthouse.

Gordon Schraber Courthouse in Sacramento

Upon entering, those of us reporting for our civic duty were herded like cattle through metal detectors at the security checkpoint. As I was about to enter, the guy in front of me made the machine beep. He then proceeded to take out his phone, it beeped again, then removed his belt; beeped again, then his spare change….(For a minute here I thought perhaps the “Chief Blogger” was in front of me.) Again the machine beeped, and the man said “oh my wallet”; finally, the machine didn’t beep anymore and he was admitted. Clearly this guy thought he was exempt from the signs instructing people to remove all said crap listed above from their pockets and place in a tray so it could be run separately thru the x-ray machine. In contrast, I passed right through and made my way to the jury room.

I check in with the clerk at the window and was told to wait and enjoy a movie that would start playing shortly. I was hoping the movie would be accompanied by a snack and complimentary beverage but sadly this was not the case. After seeing the prices marked on the nearby vending machines, I was hoping the person that came up with the prices would be on trial today for theft.

At around 9:30, they put on an old Sandra Bullock film (is it my age or aren’t all of her films old). Anyway, I had seen enough. I was ready to make an offer to the older lady sitting next to me….$50 to stay here and check me out at day’s end; I couldn’t take it anymore! Shortly thereafter I looked at my watch, I was convinced a few hours had passed and it had to be close to lunch time…it was 9:35.

About the time my sanity was threatening to leave me, a voice interrupted the movie. The announcement was made that they needed a jury and they began called names. I was one of the first ones called so I proceeded to Department 23 as instructed. (Each courtroom is called a department and has its own number.) I was lucky to be moving out of the accursed waiting room. It was time for the real entertainment to begin. I could now sit back and watch a few people get thrown off the jury and once they had a jury picked then I could be excused and sent home. My master plan was in motion!

Upon my arrival at the appointed room; however, reality saw to it that I had no such luck. I was called to sit in the jury box in seat 11, pretty much font and center! The judge read off a couple of preliminary items, saying because the defendant was black didn’t mean he was guilty, etc., etc. We were then asked if we knew any of the other jurors, the judge or defense or prosecutors, I answered, “No”. We took a 30 minute break at 10:30 with instructions to be back at 11; in what became a recurring theme during my time served, 11 turned into 11:30.

The judge very slowly and methodically began asking various canned questions to each of us on the panel. These questions included inquiring as to whether we had a family member convicted of a crime? A few of us raised our hands and the judge called on us individually. I had to state what happened with a family member, to which the judge asked if I knew any of the officers being called as witnesses. I responded, “No”. He then asked if I could put aside any bias I may have for a couple days I answered, “Yes”. He asked a few more follow ups to the panel, then excused us for 2 hours for lunch. I asked myself, 2 hours for lunch, can this be a professional gig?

We returned at 2:00 and waited. We were not called back into the court room until 2:20. From here the two attorneys took over, and I was again under attack. I was asked if someone was pulled over going 66 in a 65 zone if that was considered breaking the law, I replied, “Yes”. The female defense attorney had a follow up saying she was deeply disturbed by my answer to which I replied, saying posted speed limits should be adhered to at all times but occasionally circumstances warrant someone’s speed to fluctuate over and under the speed limit. She went as far as saying she had no witness list and solely planned to rebut everything the prosecutor brought up during trial. She finished up and the prosecutor took over, asking another juror some follow ups. To my amazement, the defense attorney then trained her fire on me once again asking what my thoughts were on being pulled over for only going a mile over, I answered than I believed it was the officer’s discretion. At this point I figured the defendant had been pulled over for something fairly ticky-tack then attacked and assaulted the three police officers at the scene, one being a women. At roughly 3 pm the judge said someone had to be somewhere in 30 minutes and we were going to stop here for the day. No one had been thrown off, and just a few questions so far had been asked of the prospective jurors. Our day was over, but our “service” was not; we were required to report back tomorrow at 9 am.

I reported back the following day and waited outside the court room doors. The other jurors began showing up and we waited until around 10:30 when the doors opened. Everyone took their respective seats and the judge began to address the group. He said he will take the blame for today’s goings on but we could not proceed because the defense attorney was sick. As a result, we had to return the following day at 1:30. He said he had a delta tunnels hearing in the AM. Frustration began to set in with the jury pool. One young lady said her boss was forcing her to take off work while attending jury duty, another works night shifts and is essentially unable to sleep during this charade. You could tell on the way out of the courthouse there was unrest brewing among the natives.

I returned yet again the following afternoon and boarded the elevator, the defense attorney got on next to me. I asked if she felt better and she said yes. I said well I’m sure it was no big deal you were absent yesterday. As we approached the courtroom I boasted to the fellow jurors “hey she isn’t sick anymore, she’s here!” To which she turned red as a tomato from all the clapping from us jurors. I think at this point she came to the realization that most prospective jurors while leaning toward being more than fair had turned on her and her client. As a group, we were sick of the delays and non-stop hurry up and wait mentality.

At 2:30 they called us into the courtroom again, and the judge said there was a resolution, the accused had pled guilty. The judge addressed us for about 30 minutes saying he was glad for our service and that we shouldn’t view this as a waste of time at all. He talked about the new courthouse being built soon at the cost of 400 million and how this building was deficient and so on so forth. He said something about us getting paid, I’ll believe that when I see it. We had to go back to the jury room and get a sheet of paper saying we served 3 days, presumably to give to our employer so they wouldn’t have an excuse to fire us. Then we could go.

My commentary:
This was the ugly underbelly of our justice system, which frankly I believe is rotten to its core. There were many people in that court room whose life was inconvenienced over 3 days in the name of this defendant. One lady drove all the way from Isleton for this, that’s more drive time than court room time for all you home gamers. More frustrating was that we as jurors were the ones constantly in flux. It’s somewhat stressful finding parking, then you had to factor in getting to the right floor, then wait for the court to open. Additionally there was no phone call saying no jury was needed since the defense attorney was sick.

However I would be remiss if I didn’t say this was a very good learning experience. At first I was flummoxed the judge didn’t seem to allow anyone’s excuse to stand. He had a very calm demeanor and usually asked you a question where your answer meant you shouldn’t be excluded. It wasn’t until after the jury duty was over I understood what was going on.

The judge was basically telling the attorneys this is going to be your only pool by which to pick from so of the 40 or so in this room try to find 18. (The jury is composed of twelve jurors plus some alternates.) I think he knew several of us were bound to get thrown off and as a result wanted both attorneys to use their 10 “challenges” as opposed to him throwing people off. Additionally I believe that before the jurors were set to be readmitted to court, the judge told both parties I think we can have resolution now, then boom, a plea deal was reached. I cannot definitely say justice was done because I was not there the day of the arrest for the crime, but I do think the defendant, by holding out until the last possible second, got the best deal possible.

Honestly the case was going to be nearly insurmountable for the defense to win, regardless of whether the initial traffic stop was legal. The biggest hurdle to overcome was that the defendant was accused of assaulting 3 badges (police officers)—one being a female. I say insurmountable because as a male, it would be very hard to acquit or even attempt to hang the jury when a male hits a female. Hopefully he got a fair deal, as I’m sure jail time was on the table. However if it would have gone to trial, I would be remiss to say I wouldn’t have wanted to be a fly on the wall hearing the defense attorney argue a case with no witnesses, videos, or her client taking the stand.

Now on to the judge, Kevin Culhane. I thought initially he was long winded, slow and deliberate, and at one point seemed as if he was intentionally wasting time.

To the contrary, Judge Culhane is a very distinguished civil court trial judge who has presided over a ton of civil suits. In retrospect, it makes sense that he was very deliberate, and tried to make the prospective jurors feel at ease even though some of us were talking about some very uncomfortable things either in ours or our families’ past. He always made it clear what the next steps were and apologized profusely for the defense attorney being sick and inconveniencing us. He spoke to us at length prior to dismissing us, and told us he was appointed by the governor to address the 6 year backlog of criminal cases at the court, and to put together a strategic plan to get a new court house built. He accomplished both of these, the new courthouse will be shovel ready in a couple months! All in all not a bad experience at all.

Johnnie Does San Francisco is next!

CRA Scorecard for June 2018: Epic Failure

As you might recall (no pun intended), the week prior to the June election Secretary of State Alex Padilla reported that:

Republicans are now just a quarter of registered voters in California, with both Democrats and independents outnumbering the party that once dominated politics in the Golden State.

The percentage of voters registered as Republicans has been falling steadily over the past two decades, from 38.5 percent in 1998 to 25.1 percent in the latest figures.

Republican Party Drops to 3rd Place in Latest California Registration Numbers

I decided to take a look at the CRA endorsement list for the June election and see how they did. It doesn’t seem fair that MR. X seems to frequently whack this organization and I don’t. I looked at the statewide races of Governor, Lieutenant Governor, Secretary of State, Controller, Treasurer, Attorney General, Insurance Commissioner, Superintendent of Public Instruction, and US Senate. (These are in the order used by the Secretary of State website and not the CRA endorsement list.)

Of these nine offices, CRA failed to endorse in the following races: Controller, Insurance Commissioner, and, Superintendent of Public Instruction. Thus CRA ceded one third of the races. Of these three, the Controller race has a registered Republican that made it to November with no help from CRA; recovering Republican Steve Poizner came in first for Insurance Commissioner; and Superintendent of Public Instruction did not indicate party on the ballot so I don’t know who they were. The implications of this inaction is that we must conclude that CRA doesn’t care about California.

Look at what each of these offices do.

Controller
First, Betty Yee is arguably the worst incumbent on the ballot. Yes, even worse that Garvin Newsom. Her track record is terrible and in my opinion, she is the worst Controller that California has seen in decades.

The backbone of California’s financial records system is a UNIX based program called CalSTARS that was implemented last time Jerry Brown was Governor back in 1983. Yeah, this is the program that caused the Y2K crisis in California. Millions were spent to pay retired state employees to return to work to patch this P.O.S. so it could handle four digit years.

For many documents that her office processes, SCO has a backlog to 2015.

Under her leadership—or lack thereof—the Controller’s Office is slower and less efficient in a state that thinks it is the technology leader of the world. Can you say Irony? Oh, her Agency still uses tractor-feed paper and dot-matrix printers to give documents to various departments because they aren’t available in digital formats.

I could go on but the thing that should really frost not only CRA but all Californians is that Betty Yee and Fiona Ma—the Treasurer candidate—are personally responsible for the disinformation campaign that dismantled the Board of Equalization last year. Since CRA’s current President, Tom Hudson, worked for BOE, I would think it a slam-dunk that CRA had a candidate they could support to “take-out” Yee but no dice. Like everything else under Hudson’s leadership, all you get from CRA is crickets.

You would think that Hudson, Sue Blake, George Runner and the other so-call Republican stalwarts would stand-up for themselves and their livelihoods even if they won’t stand-up for the taxpayers that they claim to represent at BOE. Democrats threw the token black guy (one of their own) under the bus and all you got was crickets.

Insurance Commissioner
CRA claims they hate Obamacare. We all know that Obamacare was a stopgap solution on the socialist road to single payer healthcare. So did CRA run or endorse anybody that is running for Insurance Commissioner? Heck No! Once again, their rhetoric and their actions don’t agree.

CRA has had many opportunities to change their endorsement process to conform to the “Jungle Primary” system that we have in California. They have refused to face the reality that not every race will have a Republican in it. At my last CRA convention (you know the one where they overwhelmingly endorsed Lyin’ Ted), I brought the issue before the convention and they killed it at the earliest opportunity.

In his Republican days, Poizner was a CRA endorsed candidate but in a race with no Republican, CRA didn’t have the guts to go with him when he clearly is the best guy on the ballot.

Superintendent of Public Instruction
At my last CRA Convention, much energy was spent bashing Common Core but again CRA has no dog in the hunt for this job; somehow I don’t think it’s because they figured-out that in California, Common Core is here to stay.

Secretary of State and Attorney General
CRA did actually hit two winners in the statewide offices. For Secretary of State, Mark P. Meuser, came in second. For Attorney General, Steven C Bailey also came in second. If the June results are any indicator, both Republicans will face the slaughter in November.

Sadly, this brings us to the third act of the CRA train wreck. CRA had four big misses in the endorsement department. Governor, Lieutenant Governor, Treasurer, and US Senate.

Before I get into the details, I know some will try to nitpick what I’m about to say so in the interest of full disclosure, the numbers used below are from the Secretary of State’s website on June 12, 2018.

Governor
At Convention, CRA spent much time debating the pool of potential candidates and threw their weight behind Travis Allen. Meanwhile, their arch enemy, Donald J Trump, threw his support to John Cox. From the votes tallied thus far, Cox received 25.8 percent of the votes cast while CRA’s all-star candidate received 9.55 percent. Trump’s guy got about three times the number of votes. Oh, Allen came in fourth place in the race while Trump’s guy will be on the ballot in November. Since the jungle primary was implemented, this is the first time a Republican gubernatorial candidate has made it to November. For that we have Donald Trump to thank not CRA.

Lieutenant Governor
CRA fared even worse in their choice for governor in waiting. Their choice was David Hernandez. Hernandez received 6.1 percent of the vote. Out of four republicans on the ballot, CRA’s anointed came in fourth. My prolife Facebook friends said to go with Cole Harris who ended up being the top Republican vote getter. Sadly, Harris was beat by two Dems so he won’t be going to November. Oh, CRA’s guy came in seventh place.

Treasurer
CRA had a chance to go after Fiona Ma with their choice of a Treasurer candidate. They picked Jack Guerrero. Jack apparently didn’t know jack and came in third place. He was bested by Ma and Republican Greg Conlon.

US Senate
From a Conservative Republican point of view, if any candidate on the ballot embodies the opposite of what is good, right, and Constitutional it is Dianne Feinstein. Surely CRA had a guy to go after the ancient Senator from San Francisco. Charged with this task at their Spring Convention was the noble Tom Palzer. In a field of 32 candidates, surely the CRA endorsement would be decisive in propelling a solid Republican to the head of the pack. 11 of the candidates were Republicans. Among Republicans, Palzer placed a solid fifth place thanks to CRA. Sadly, he came in seventh place overall with 3.09 percent of the statewide total.

Conclusion
CRA is a lost and irrelevant organization. In my mind, their “jump the shark moment” was the endorsement of Ted Cruz. Their vote of over eighty percent endorsing Ted Cruz on the first ballot proves that they are out of touch with rank-and-file Republicans. They are bleeding membership and still have many paper clubs in their midst. Tom Hudson was supposed to be a caretaker President to heal the organization and provide stability and integrity. Instead, he is the undertaker President leading the group into the wilderness to atrophy and die. They should either pull the plug on the organization or hand it over to Johnnie Morgan and his group in LA. Either way, the current leadership needs to walk away now.