On Tuesday, April 22nd, my wife died. She hadn’t eaten anything in six days and was living on a few juice popsicles in the days prior to that. The last few days were a blur due to my lack of sleep, but I will recount what I can.
As always, this blog is more for me than for anyone else.
My father-in-law arrived in Idaho on the same date as my last update, Sunday April 13th so I will pick up the story from there.
He was here about an hour and then pulled me aside and said I don’t think she will make it to the end of the week. I told him that I would call the children. I sent out the “Bat signal.” Those who have seen the vintage 1960’s television show will get the reference. The eldest and her husband arrived the following day (Monday) and the middle child on Tuesday. Junior didn’t arrive until Sunday (Easter).
Monday, my wife (on oxygen at the time) got out of bed and refused offers of help to go from the bedroom to the couch in the living room. This was a distance of about 25 feet. As she neared the couch, she did a face-plant on the floor. The O2 line in her nose ripped open both nostrils. Blood was gushing from both sides of her nose. We stopped the bleeding by rolling up tissue and shoving it into both sides of her nose. Later she developed bruising around her right eye and nose. She looked like she had been in an MMA fight. Had she not quit taking blood thinners a week before, this would have been a disaster.
As I said, food consumption was about zero from this point forward. Once the daughter and spouse arrived, the son-in-law did make a food run. They bought mom sugar free popsicles! My wife took about one bite, and she was done. Yuck. That was the last solid food or food of any kind that she ever ate. Why in the hell anyone would think of buying sugar-free popsicles when you know these were the only calories she was getting is beyond stupid.
Anyway, the daughter and hubby did rent a car, so they went the next day to the airport to pick up the middle child.
After her fall, the wife was using a mask for oxygen. My wife has very labored breathing. She could say only a word or two and then would have to pause before trying to say another word. As the week went on, she began using hand signals to communicate.
Her SPO2 (blood oxygen saturation) began dropping. Normal readings are 95 to 99 percent. Hers was in the 80’s for a few days and then fell to the 70’s. Just for reference, a blood oxygen reading of 75 is the same as basecamp at Mt Everest (~17,500 ft above sea level). In her last few days, all readings without O2 were between 72 and 77.
Per the Internet, you should call 911 if you have a reading below 90. Readings like my wife’s begin to cause organ and brain failure after five minutes. On Friday or Saturday, she decided to refuse any more O2.
On Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights, I stayed up with her. Saturday night she was up from about 1 AM until just after 4. That night, I distinctly remember her saying, “Do all you do”
And me responding, “to the glory of God.”
This is something we said to our son every day before he went to school; up until we knew of his open rebellion against God in his last year of high school.
It was her heartfelt belief and one she tried to instill in our son. I know I cried when she said it. As it turned out, for the final time.
On Sunday night she was up from 1:30 AM until about 3. On Monday night I was up with her all night.
Her last night went something like this: She wanted to move from the hospital bed to the wheelchair about 11:30 PM. She said that she wanted to go outside. I wheeled her to the sliding glass door and then opened it. Per our weather station, it was 34 degrees outside. I told her it was too difficult for me to move the wheelchair outside. We looked out for a few minutes, and I remember closing the sliding door. Together we looked at the view. I said to her:
“There is our swing.”
“There is our deck.”
“There is our apple tree. “
“There is our yard.”
“There is our levee.”
“There is our town.”
“There are the stars.”
In her weak voice she said, “I am ready to die.”
I cried.
We then moved to the couch. I had to help her from the wheelchair to the couch. This was not too difficult since she had lost over 160 pounds during the course of this four-year cancer ordeal. I stayed with her. Sometimes I tried to give her medicine, sometimes I rubbed her back (the cancer in her bones and muscles caused her much pain; especially in her lower back), sometimes I was just her pillow. That was her favorite thing, just resting in my arms. Her breathing was labored. You could hear junk in her lungs that she was unable to cough it up. About 5:30 AM, her dad came into the house. I gave him a brief turnover and then went to bed.
The next thing I knew, he was frantically calling for me. I went into the Livingroom, and he said she is dying now. She would take a breath and then nothing would happen for about twenty seconds and then she would gasp again, followed by another long pause. After a few minutes of this process being repeated. She was very still. Tears welled up in my eyes. I told her that I loved her. She gasped again and then was still. A huge tear came from the corner of her eye and dripped down the side of her nose. Upon seeing the tear, I knew two things with certainty, first, that she loved me, and second, that she was dead. As this was happening, I glanced at my watch. It was 6:46 AM on April 22nd.
Later I was looking through her phone and noticed that she had sung at Carnegie Hall in New York City on April 22nd 2024. Yep, one year to the day from singing at Carnegie Hall she had died. Her death was three weeks to the day from entering hospice. At the time it didn’t seem so, but her death was rather quick.
Sheryl in Carnegie Hall April 22, 2024
Below are quotes from things that Sheryl had written about her cancer journey.
The first is an excerpt from a text thread with ladies at our church that were praying for her.
“Reading through all this, it struck me that suffering can lead to contentment and grace. Bill will sometimes sit down beside me as I am coughing or “suffering.” He will rub my back and say, “Poor Sheryl! My poor wife…! I stop him and say, “Honey, I’m am NOT poor! I’m so blessed! I have God, You, and so much support. It is amazing to feel His love in my life.”
“Suffering brings us to an acknowledgment of the wonderful blessings of His grace.”
Sheryl and Bill Tolson celebrate Valentine’s Day 2025
The next is a dream that she had back in February. In our 21 years of marriage, she only wrote down two dreams. This was the second.
My Dream 02/25/25.
I was standing with Bill and Dad and several other family members under a wooden gazebo surrounded by huge oak trees. It reminded me of the area around the Orinda house. I had my Jeep keys in my hand, and I got in the car and drove away to go to a Women’s clothing store tucked up in a heavily wooded fern-filled garden canyon. I had to park in a strange spot that was up a large branch of a tree.
The store was filled with many dresses and I picked a pretty floral one easily and put it on. I walked out the other side of the store. The door opened up on to a huge grassy, wildflower speckled lawn. Across the lawn were spread many tables with people all sitting around visiting and talking together. Behind them was some sort of large one story building. My thought immediately went to Grammie and Grandad’s backyard.
I walked onto a clear area of lawn and heard music beginning to play. I realized it was the opening notes of Climb Every Mountain, and I began to sing. My voice was full and perfect. I could feel the notes floating up into a sparkling blue sky as I sang. I knew I was singing to His glory! I knew this was His garden, His house! I hit the high note at the end with such perfect brilliance that it seemed to shimmer. When I finished, I could hear murmurs from the crowd, “That’s Sheryl! She’s here! That’s Nancy’s daughter! She’s Amy and Alvin’s granddaughter!”
I turned and headed further across the lawn where I saw my mom. She gave me a huge hug and said, “That was beautiful! I love you!” I said, “Mom! I can sing again!” She laughed and said, “Of course you can!” We walked over together to a gazebo area similar to the one I left earlier. I could see Bill standing there. I walked up, handed him the keys to the Jeep and said, “You will have to go get the Jeep. I parked it in a strange tree. I love you!”
And I woke up crying happy tears!
In Bonners Ferry, Idaho, we had a public viewing of Sheryl on April 25th and a funeral on April 26th. She was transported to Sacramento California on April 29th and was buried on May 2nd next to her mother in Elk Grove.
At her funeral service, I read her dream just as it appears above and then read the following.
Sheryl Tolson public viewing April 25, 2025
Remembering Sheryl
By Bill
I used to tell my wife that I married the richest girl that I ever dated. Having all of you here is proof that I was right.
Whenever my wife would complain about something I would reply, “When I get to be your age honey, I’ll find out.” Since I was a year older, this often got her upset, but I really had fun saying it just to get a rise out of her.
Last night we had our final date night. It was called a “public viewing”, but it really wasn’t. It was my last time to see her in the flesh. I wanted to spend one last evening with my bride of almost 22 years. It was bittersweet but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
She didn’t have much to say but that was OK. We remembered the excitement of meeting for the first time, our first kiss, the first time she let me meet her kids, of course this only happened after I had been vetted by a group of her most trusted friends. Then there was the night we went to dinner with Tommy and Kendall, and I proposed to her. It was December 7th, always a memorable date for us veterans of the US Navy.
We were married on Friday the thirteenth in a little church in Vacaville California. It was a hot June night in two thousand three and everyone was sweating. We took our wedding vows using the Church of England’s 1662 Book of Common Prayer where Sheryl was glad to say that she would “honor and obey until death do us part”. It’s no surprise that Sheryl kept her word. In turn, I promised to love her as Christ loved His Church.
Early on, we had a few rough patches along the way, especially the two miscarriages which were balanced with the joy of her giving birth to our son, James.
It might surprise you to know that I rarely ever called Sheryl by name. She was called by her titles “wife of my youth”, “my bride”, “mommy”, “honey”, “bride of love”, and things like that. In fairness, James was often called “the boy of love” and Bob the dog was our “love dog”. Love was just part of what we did. Oh, behind her back, Sheryl did get called “management” on select occasions, but I think that is allowed by the description of the Proverbs 31 woman.
During our marriage, there were many road trips that we took. Some were just for fun, but many were to find a new place to live outside of California. Our road trips were sometimes over five thousand miles in two weeks. We saw lots of country, but in the end, it came down to Bonners Ferry where we bought two acres of land in 2020. This part of Sheryl’s story most of you know, at least in part.
Last April, Sheryl went with a group from Bonners Ferry and sang at New York’s Carnegie Hall. It was a dream for anyone that loved music as much as she did. A month later she lost her voice and knew something was very wrong. It was then that she learned that the cancer was back with a vengeance. In the next months, Sheryl experienced many rounds of radiation and chemotherapy, but treatment was unsuccessful. Sheryl was placed in hospice care on April first and died three weeks later, ironically her death was on the one-year anniversary of singing at Carnegie Hall.
At the end, just a few short days ago … or was it a lifetime …she was gasping for air. It was clear that each breath might be her last. Crying, I told her that I loved her. She then struggled for one last breath and then the biggest single tear, that I ever saw, came from the corner of her eye and dripped down the side of her nose. When I saw this, I immediately knew two things, she loved me, and she was most certainly gone. It was 6:46 AM.
So, there I was last night, mulling over these and other thoughts. Mostly, I was just missing her. Trust me, I kissed her several times when I thought no one was looking; after all, it was our last date.
In the last few days, everywhere I look and everywhere I go, I see her or some memory of her. In marriage two become one but in death, the opposite happens. The oneness is violently ripped apart.
Today we send my beloved Sheryl off on her final journey, a journey that ends with her body buried next to her mother where she will await the reunion of her soul and body at the end of history. Farewell my bride. It was my great privilege to be married to you and I’d gladly do it over again in a heartbeat.
Sheryl’s Grave in Elk Grove, CA
Only a memorial service remains as part of the farewell tour of my wife and our marriage. What is next is beyond my ability to see. Yes, I have ideas and aspirations of how I might move-on in my life but… I’m old enough to know that what I want and what God has in store for me might be different ideas. Other than organizing the house, I’m not sure what follows. God is good and has a plan. Funny how these words sound familiar. Kinda reminds me of someone I knew.
Sheryl Tolson passed away peacefully from cancer in Bonners Ferry on April 22, 2025, surrounded by her loving family. Viewing will be held from 5 to 6 p.m. Friday, April 25, at Bonners Ferry Funeral Home. Funeral Services will be held at 2 p.m. Saturday, April 26, at Providence Bible Presbyterian Church, 6530 Washington Street, Bonners Ferry.
She leaves behind her husband, Bill, of 21 years, her children Kendall Costello, Thomas Connolly, James Tolson, her sister Lori Douglass and her father Gordon Douglass.
Sheryl was born in San Francisco, and grew up in Orinda, California. After graduating from high school, she attended the University of California Davis and eventually graduated from Sacramento State with degrees in voice and business. Sheryl settled in Elk Grove, California, with her second husband Bill Tolson, where she taught elementary school for many years in the Elk Grove Unified School District. She loved singing and continued singing for various groups, including the popular Elk Grove Strauss Festival, Veteran’s and Memorial Day celebrations, and her local church choir. She was involved in the Chamber of Commerce, Old Town Merchants Association, and Rotary.
In 2020 Sheryl and Bill bought property in Bonners Ferry, where they retired in 2023. At their new home, Sheryl and Bill quickly made new friends. In retirement she used her artistic talents for singing and crafting gifts for fellow church members, family, and friends.
As a member of a choral group in Bonners Ferry, Sheryl was able to sing at Carnegie Hall in 2024. A month later she was stricken with a recurrence of cancer and lost her ability to sing. Her struggle with disease ended on April 22. When asked, Sheryl would often reply that, “I know God has a plan, I may not like it, but I trust Him.”
Halfway through April my wife’s health is continuing to decline. She is in pain much of the time. In addition, breathing is becoming more difficult. Morphine and oxygen are now regular parts of her care. She grows weaker by the day. Food consumption continues to decline. When you vomit part of whatever you eat, you decide to eat less just to avoid the futility of a meal. While she liked the promise of what the esophageal stint would do, the truth is it has had the opposite effect that was promised; namely, she is eating less than before. Meals are poached eggs, popsicles, oatmeal, and an occasional yogurt.
Cancer continues to spread. She is developing lumps of cancer just under her skin on her back and chest. One area that bothers her a lot is a lump of bone sticking out of her right side near where she had an incision to open her chest cavity and pull her stomach into her chest. This surgery was done 3 ½ years ago.
While she likes the relief that comes from taking a bath, her days of climbing the stairs to get to the tub are over. Last time she took a bath she had to rest multiple times to get up the stairs. She then had to rest before getting in the tub. The handrail that I installed is helpful but presupposes that a person has the strength to hold on while traversing the stairs.
Her dad is arriving in a few short days to help. Sadly, he knows how this will end but chooses to be here anyway. I’m glad he is coming.
I was hoping that she would make it until mid-June, our 22nd anniversary, but at this point I think it’s all over before then. I generally know her last wishes, but we have yet to work out the details of the memorial service that she wants in Elk Grove. We are doing three activities/services: Funeral in Bonners Ferry, Graveside service in Elk Grove, and a memorial service.
My parents are flabbergasted that my wife wants a proper Christian burial and then a memorial service. They think the body is trash to be burned and tossed away (or scattered). It’s just one of many disconnects that modern Christians believe even though the Bible teaches the opposite. My problem with them is that they don’t care what the Bible says on the issue and no amount of contrary evidence is allowed into their world. Oh, then they start hitting me with the cost angle. I’m like, so what. Even if nobody helps pay for this, I can use the insurance money to cover the expenses.
When the kids do make it here one last time, I hope she divides or distributes the bulk of her possessions. After things are settled, I would like to load the pickup and start delivering mom’s stuff to the kids. I don’t want to have all that stuff warehoused here until I too am planted in the grave. It’s not fair to put that on someone else later.
The truth is that much of what my wife has collected isn’t worth a plug nickel. For her everything is about sentimental value and nobody shares her sentiment. Today’s generation doesn’t care about real silverware, or fine China dish sets, or Depression era glassware, or mass marketed children’s books from the 1960’s. The Bible says that you should leave an inheritance to your children’s children but how can you when they aren’t getting married and making babies. The oldest is trying to check this box but the two boys are stuck in Andrew Isker’s Trashworld as happy as pigs in slop, just playing video games and passing the time away.
People keep trying to relate to me and say they are praying for me. I’m just the passenger on this trip through the valley of the shadow of death. The big blank for me is what happens after all the above is over? Frankly, I don’t need much help until that time at which I’ll be a lost puppy.
Minor update: given the trajectory of my wife’s condition, I think the end is much nearer than I had supposed, barring some intervention, I think she has days remaining and not weeks. I’m curious what my father-in-law will think once he gets to see the situation firsthand.
The best thing about March was a four-day visit by the stepdaughter and her husband. The next best thing was the baby show that was supposed to happen months ago. It was put on hold because the mom decided to have her baby a week before the shower. What nerve!
The rest of the cancer story for March was one of decline.
My wife is no longer cooking. The meal tasks have fallen on me. I’m getting really proficient doing poached eggs, but please don’t ask me to eat one. Yuck!
Bathing is another task which has become more complicated. My wife has been experiencing pain in her body; especially, her back. The best temporary relief she can get is from taking a bath. The tub is upstairs. For the last two weeks, she has had to climb up the stairs on her hands and knees. She claims that she is unsure of her balance going up the steps. Afterwards I must help her down the stairs.
She sleeps for much each day and her energy is very low.
Eating is from a limited menu. The last few days have been poached eggs for breakfast and dinner. Juice popsicles, cheese sticks, and yogurt are occasionally consumed as well. Contrary to what we hoped, the esophageal stint has not increased her menu options, only her ability to vomit has improved.
Last Friday, was the PET Scan that would show if her chemotherapy and immunotherapy was working. The results arrived yesterday. The results were even more dire than I could imagine.
Despite treatment, the cancer has spread significantly. My wife has cancer in her saliva glands, her neck, chest cavity, spine and lower back, and pelvic region. She also has cancer in both the left and right lobes of her liver. There are so many places with cancer that they are not listed by occurrence any longer.
I’m not a doctor, I just play one on this blog, but it seems that she has little time left. I think she has two to four months remaining.
Between the cancer and the starving game that she is enduring, it seems just a matter of time before something breaks. I’m trying to persevere and not dwell too much on what’s happening. I can mourn later or at least that is what I’m telling myself. How long until we have to rent a hospital bed and park that in the bedroom?
Update just prior to publishing: Physician’s Assistant says that the doctor told her that treatment is ineffective and is therefore ended. Chemotherapy was cancelled today and forevermore. Also, my wife’s white cell count was too low, and she couldn’t get treatment with that kind of result anyway. We are now on hospice. Clearly a new chapter in this cancer saga.
Also, I contacted the middle child and told him that it’s time for FMLA. He needs to make arrangements to see his mom towards the end of April or first of May.
As far back as November of 2023, we were saying that folks in Gaza had the choice to be bombed into extinction or moving to another country. The Israeli government has finally said that their goal is to depopulate the region and then develop it as an economic improvement zone.
The final stage of Israel’s war on Gaza is underway. While initially presented as a mission to recover hostages and dismantle Hamas, its underlying objective is now being openly stated: Depopulate Gaza and bring the territory under Israeli control.
After cutting off the supply of food, electricity, and humanitarian aid in early March, Israel now vows to intensify its campaign on an already devastated population. The message to Gaza’s survivors is unmistakable: leave or die.
Last Friday, [Israeli Defense Minister Israel] Katz issued an unequivocal statement. According to The Times of Israel:
In a statement, Katz says: “If the Hamas terror organization continues to refuse to release the hostages, I instructed the IDF [Israeli Defense Forces] to capture additional areas, evacuate the population, and expand the security zone around Gaza for the protection of Israeli communities and IDF soldiers, through a permanent hold of the area by Israel.”
“As long as Hamas continues its refusal, it will lose more and more land that will be added to Israel,” Katz says.
Gaza
Katz also invoked U.S. support for population removal, stating Israel would use “all military and civilian pressure, including evacuation of the Gaza population south and implementing US President Trump’s voluntary migration plan for Gaza residents.”
Trump’s Vision
Trump’s so-called “voluntary” migration plan referenced by Katz is neither voluntary nor humanitarian. Announced in early February, it envisions the permanent relocation of over 2 million Palestinian residents to neighboring countries, with the goal of transforming the territory into a “Riviera” “owned” by the United States.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has endorsed the proposal, describing it as a “bold” and “fresh” strategy that could lead to the reconstruction of Gaza. Katz has instructed the IDF to prepare plans facilitating the departure of Gaza residents.
Israel no longer hides its intention to take full control of Gaza. A Sunday report from The Times of Israel confirmed that Israeli officials are now actively discussing a plan for full military occupation of the Gaza Strip with U.S. counterparts.
The office was planned in coordination with Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich. Earlier this month, he said Israel could expel up to 5,000 Palestinians per day. As a result, Gaza could be “cleansed” within just a year.
The practical problem, for now, is where to send the refugees. According to multiple reports, Israel and the U.S. have approached Somalia, Somaliland, Sudan, and Syria to accept Gazans — so far, without success.
Still, the policy now has a home, a budget, and an office sign. The machinery of expulsion is no longer theoretical. It’s operational.
In the not-too-distant future look for ads reminding you to make plans to frolic like a Philistine on the beach in the land of Goliath. If Israel has its way, Gaza will become what Lebanon once was before the Muslims took over and ruined the place in the 1970’s.
Last thought:
Why is it that Evangelicals in America, by and large, support the Israeli government and the military incursion into Gaza. Most of the Christians in Israel live in Gaza and are dying at the hands of both Jews and Muslims. Sadly, they don’t care. Since their Dispensational/Premillennial theology teaches that 2/3 of the Jews will die anyway, I guess what’s a few thousand more Christian deaths if it ushers in the Return of Christ. What a horrible, evil, and defeatist theology dominates the minds of many American Christians.
I wish to take issue with some of the statements in an article on the Microsoft Network news site. As usual, their content is from other websites. Anyway, this article is by a person named Andrew Lisa.
First, here’s part of the article.
In 2024, before he was elected for a second term as president, Donald Trump declared on Truth Social, “SENIORS SHOULD NOT PAY TAX ON SOCIAL SECURITY!”
That might sound like a blessing for retirees on fixed incomes — who happen to be one of the country’s biggest and most reliable voting blocs — but how much would seniors really benefit if Trump were to succeed in eliminating the tax on Social Security benefits?
It turns out that what appears to be a proposal to help the most vulnerable populations would actually benefit wealthy retirees the most — and the cost in lost revenue could threaten the program’s future and lead to reduced benefits for all.
The assertion that eliminating federal income tax on Social Security will bankrupt the system is nuts. Supposedly, the money paid out to Social Security recipients was withheld from their checks during their working years. If it accrued interest at market rates, it would be enough to last old folks for many years. The truth is that there is no segregated fund of money invested for Social Security. The claim that there is a coffee can buried on the White House grounds with an I.O.U. inside instead of money is basically true. Congress has been syphoning off the money for decades and spending it as it comes in. Taxing it is just a gimmick to gin-up class envy. Thanks Bill Clinton.
William Jefferson Blythe Clinton 42nd President of the US
Let’s look further at the claim that wealthy retirees would benefit the most.
The article then claims that eliminating Social Security taxes will only benefit the rich making over $5,000,000 per year.
According to the Tax Policy Center, “The biggest winners would be those in the top 0.1% of income, who make nearly $5 million or more. They’d get an average tax cut of nearly $2,500 in 2025.”
However, elsewhere in the article it says,
“Right now, up to 85% of Social Security benefits can be subject to taxes, which feels like an extra burden when you’re already managing a fixed income,” she explained. “For instance, if you’re receiving $30,000 in Social Security benefits and are currently taxed on half of that at a 12% rate, you could potentially save $1,800 if these taxes are removed — a relief that could go a long way in your budget.”
So, in one spot this article says you need to make five million dollars to benefit $2,500 from this tax cut but two paragraphs prior it says someone making $30K could benefit $1,800.
Both statements can’t be true, but both are treated as equally valid and factual.
Folks, there is another issue related to retirement that this article doesn’t touch. My wife and I get a modest pension and last year I started on Social Security. We did our taxes last week for 2024. We walked out the door with the largest tax bill we have ever had in our lives and yes, last year we did have tax withholding equal to our tax bill for 2023.
Our tax bill breaks down into three buckets.
State tax was five times higher than last year.
Social security was taxed.
Obamacare tax. Yep, did you know that if you’re on Obamacare that you get to pay healthcare premiums every month and then get an additional tax bill for April 15th?
Obamacare
We are too young to be on Medicare which by law you must be on at age 65—even Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are on it too!
Warren Buffett
Since we retired from work in California and live in another state, we can’t get health insurance directly from our old employers. Thus, we must buy our own policy. Since we are retired, the best deal we can get is being stuck with Obamacare. Obamacare requires that you estimate your income for the coming year, and they then use that estimate to calculate a monthly premium. Well, we guessed wrong, so we got hit with what amounts to an Obamacare penalty. In our case $4,500. The penalty is added onto your tax bill with the federal government. Failure to pay by April 15th gets you penalties and interest from the IRS.
Most of this tax mess is the result of taking some money out of my wife’s IRA. The effective tax rate of this withdrawal was about 35 percent including the money withheld by the fund manager.
So, with less than three weeks until the tax deadline, we are struggling to pay a five-digit tax bill on a fixed income. Meanwhile, my wife is dealing with stage 4 cancer and its related medical expenses. She is not getting any better. Talk about piling on.
Bottom line: eliminating the Social Security tax will benefit many people. Obamacare punishes those on fixed income that are honest about their circumstances.
Lastly, please note that this article on Social Security mentioned nothing about the people that benefit from the bill Biden signed in January which allows teachers, firefighters, and others to get more money from Social Security. Biden’s increasing the benefit to others seemingly has no consequences to the long-term health of the program but Trump cutting a tax is going to bankrupt the system. WTF?
Almost a year ago, I heard an interview that Gary DeMar did with Brian Godawa. Brian was promoting his book Cruel Logic. As a result of the interview, I purchased the book.
I enjoyed most of the book except for a side character named “Danny”. Danny had nothing to do with the main plot and I skipped much of the interaction that he had with this babe that was the ringleader for the campus chapter of Black Lives Matter. This storyline pushed an otherwise PG story into R Rated territory. Brian had a point in putting the character into his book, but I can’t gripe too loudly about it without spoiling this part of the story. Let me just say that it left me very uncomfortable on a lot of levels.
Anyway, I decided to get another Brian Godawa book that was about the biblical character Noah. Frankly, I didn’t like it all that much. Brian took what I felt was the weasel way out and opted for a local instead of a global flood. On a key plot point, he cheated by doing this. I will get into this more shortly without mentioning this book. However, what I did like was in his appendix to the book. He discussed a different view on Old Testament cosmology. Each novel that he writes has extensive background material in the book’s appendix that is arguably better than the novels.
Brian and some of his fellow travelers are big on understanding the Bible within the context of the surrounding cultures. As they see it, much of what the Bible does is subversion of other culture’s mythologies. He makes a good argument that the Bible does this in many passages as it puts down the gods of other nations and exalts the God of Scripture.
Much of this cannot be seen in English translations because the translators didn’t understand the references, or the translators believed the manuscripts to be correct. Much of the supernatural view of Scriptures relies on the Septuagint—the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures. Godawa and others make the argument that the Jews tinkered with the Hebrew translations of the Old Testament in the second and third centuries after Christ to minimize passages that benefitted Christian efforts to proselytize Jews. They also lean heavily on extrabiblical writings between the Old and New Testaments.
In addition, some of their arguments get into the literal jots and tittles of the Hebrew text. Originally Hebrew was written entirely in consonants. Vowel markings were added later and, in some cases, may have been incorrect. Likewise, they occasionally take exception with how the Greek was handled. A check on some of the translations relies on the Dead Sea Scrolls as an independent voice on which translation is correct.
The most famous mistranslation in the Bible is the word, “Armageddon.” As written, it means “mountain of Megiddo”; however, Megiddo is a plain and there are zero mountains there! They and others say that the correct rendering is “mountain of assembly” which is in Jerusalem not Megiddo. Frankly, this makes more sense but is clearly less sensational.
There is a myriad of both small and great tweaks that they believe need to be made to the English translations. Once you start down this path, it is clear that Moses and the prophets, were bashing pagan gods and their practices on a regular basis. It is our ignorance of the historical context and surrounding pagan religious beliefs that prevents us from seeing references to them on the pages of the Bible. In reality the Bible is neither safe nor tame if you start digging into it.
Believe me, unicorns are easy to explain compared to spirits, Tartarus, Satyrs, Lilith, vampires, and a variety of other biblical references that have been papered over in English. Talk about making the Bible, come alive, Michael Heiser’s “Unseen Realm” came make it anything but routine.
One controversial aspect to the supernatural view of the Bible is its reliance on books such as First Enoch. I Enoch is quoted by New Testament writers like Peter and Jude and is even referenced by the Apostle Paul.
One of Heiser’s books has an extensive list of familiar (to the original audience) noncanonical works quoted in the Bible. You’d be surprised how much in the Bible is a direct response to the pagan cultures surrounding ancient Israel.
Some passages of the Bible are clearly about supernatural entities be they demons or angels. Psalm 82 is one example.
Recently, my pastor did a sermon on this Psalm and totally missed the point. He did a whole sermon on the passage assuming that it was talking about human judges. It is not. It is clearly speaking of supernatural beings. Otherwise, how do the last few verses make any sense?
6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.
7 But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.
My pastor skipped these verses in his sermon. If you assume this Psalm is about men, I can see why this part was passed over. Why would it be bad to tell a human judge that he will eventually die and fall like a prince? For a judge to be equated with a prince in the above context seems to be a bad thing, but equating a human judge to a prince seems like a promotion to me. The “Ye are gods” in verse 6 should be familiar since Jesus quoted it as proof of his divinity. If Jesus is using the verse to prove his divinity, how can my pastor be using this same verse to prove that it is applied to men? (John 10:34)
However, if I was to tell a supernatural being that he was to die like a man and fall like a prince, that would be about the worst outcome a supernatural being could be promised. Please note that God is not threatening those in Psalm 82 with this outcome, God is proclaiming their judgement.
This Psalm is messianic. God is taking the rule of nations away from angels (supernatural beings) that have failed to govern men justly and that rule is being given to Him. Jesus inherits the nations as a result of the Resurrection and Ascension.
8 Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.
Psalm 82 has zero to do with human rulers.
Another passage that Heiser and others show is mistranslated is Deuteronomy 32:8.
When the most High divided to the nations their inheritance, when he separated the sons of Adam, he set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel.
This verse makes zero sense if you read it. How could God divide the nations according to the children of Israel when this was done centuries before Israel had been born? God divided the nations after the Flood. There were 70 nations.
A traditional understanding is that Genesis 10 enumerates some seventy original nations. This number is often symbolically significant in Scripture, indicating completeness. Later in biblical history, the concept of “the seventy” reappears in various contexts, such as the seventy elders of Israel (Numbers 11:16) and the sending out of the seventy (or seventy-two) disciples by Jesus (Luke 10:1). This recurrence underscores the unity and diversity of humanity under divine providence.
Israel has twelve sons, not seventy. Heiser and other say that this passage should read as “the sons of god” not “children of Israel”.
So, what Deuteronomy 32 is saying is that the nations were ruled by angels—probably of the fallen variety—but God was going to create his own nation and call a people for himself. Enter one guy named Abram then Isaac, then Jacob, add four hundred years, and here we are wandering through the desert.
Heiser’s motto is something to the effect that if its in the Bible and its weird, then its important.
There are some weaknesses in parts of what Heiser says.
He and his followers don’t seem committed to a young earth interpretation of the Bible and allow more years into the past than most Creationists believe.
Heiser and many of his supporters are not sure if the Flood of Noah was global. This is due in part to the next point.
Heiser believes the Nephilim are giants—half breed offspring of angels and human women. (See Genisis 6) This unholy crossbreeding was the main reason there was a Flood. The Bible is clear that the children of Nephilim were alive after the Flood. No explanation is given as to why the Nephilim would be the cause of a Flood but that their offspring would still be alive after it occurred. Both the Bible and extrabiblical texts are silent on this question. Did angels insist on fathering children with human women anyway?
The traditional understanding of Satan and the fallen angels is wrong. There were three angelic rebellions.
These three rebellions are: (1) Satan’s initial rebellion against God, (2) the “sons of God” in Genesis 6 leaving heaven to take human wives, and (3) the divine council abusing their territorial rule over the nations and turning it into a sort of rivalry against the true God. For Heiser, this threefold framework explains the majority of the Bible’s spiritual-warfare passages, and it clarifies the difference between Satan, false gods, and demons.
One strength of Heiser’s ideas is that of explaining why during the conquest of the Holy Land by Joshusa that some cities were razed and others just conquered. Those cities held or ruled by descendants of giants were totally destroyed, those with no association with giants were just taken militarily. This completely diffuses the claim that Joshusa was all about genocide. The only genocide was for half-breed offspring of angels and women not normal humans. Thus, the conquest was really a type of spiritual warfare.
Heiser also adds some depth and background to the mission and ministry of Jesus. Heiser uses the location of events in Jesus’ ministry to show that the backdrop of many events was a type of spiritual warfare. Jesus was challenging the pagan gods and claiming superiority in a number of familiar stories related to walking on water, casting out demons, the transfiguration, and many more events. The idea that His spiritual warfare was only 40 days in the wilderness is a far cry from reality.
The thing that does go too far in my opinion is adding Heiser’s ideas to the Pre-mil, dispensational nonsense that has permeated much of Christianity. Unleashing Heiser on a future understanding of the book of Revelation creates a whole new genre of science fiction and speculation that knows no bounds. Even Hal Lindsey and Tim Lahay would roll over in their graves if they heard some of the wild speculation that is being published today as a result of mashing up Heiser with the Scofield Reference Bible.
Heiser is about 85 to 90 percent correct but I’m skeptical on the last little bit. Perhaps there are some texts out there which have yet to be translated that might convince me of the remaining part. I believe in demons and that there were giants, I’m just not sure Heiser can fully explain them with an appeal to I Enoch. On the other hand, nothing he advocated is related to whether we get into heaven or not. He does liven up Scripture reading and that is something very few can say. Once you read his book, the Bible will be a more lively place to explore your relationship with God and your understanding of its historic and cultural context.
Brian Godawa and some others do a podcast almost every month called Iron and Myth.
It is an exploration of Heiser’s ideas, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and current archaeology. Currently, there are 38 episodes that are each just over an hour each. The last 15 minutes is a solo segment by Derek Gilbert. Gilbert is one of the folks that has crazy ideas about Revelation. He is usually OK when talking about history. He drives me crazy because he can’t see that Revelation (for the most part) was fulfilled in 70 AD. Godawa liens Reformed and Calvinistic. I tend to agree with him more than the others. Doug Van Dorn is a Reformed Baptist pastor. Judd Burton works in the field of archaeology.
Last note is that episode one of Iron and Myth is audio only. Derek Gilbert has an app called GilbertHouse that is available for Apple or Android phones. This app can download either audio or video of episodes of this podcast and others as well.
“A man’s got to know his limitations.” Clint Eastwood
I wish to preface my comments with the statement that I really like living in North Idaho. But some folks in the pulpit can get under my skin. What follows is a bit of a rant on this topic.
First, I am about the most ecumenical person that you will ever meet. I have very strong convictions on what I believe but I have enough charity to allow others that hold different opinions (or convictions) than mine and not let our differences be a barrier to fellowship. The caveat is that they must acknowledge the central tenants of the faith. The Apostle Paul put it thusly, “For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.” 1 Cor 2:2.
Second, I really dislike it when other guys call everyone else in the Church that believes differently than them, heretics, apostates, unbelievers, and other derogatory things, and damn them all to hell; doubly so when they are demonstrably wrong. Triply, so when the differences are secondary theological issues.
There’s a guy up here that is all over Facebook tearing everyone else down and thinking he is promoting his tiny little church. The problem is that this guy is the pastor of said tiny church. Were he just a member then I would write it off to him being a nut but when he is constantly playing the clergy card then it deserves a response. This dude is proud. I mean as in PRIDE in all caps, proud. This is a trait that I have encountered often with folks that identify as Baptist. I know because I used to be much like him. Yuck. They are Right, just ask them. In fact, they are so right that any Scripture that might challenge their view cannot possibly be translated correctly. They totally own the entire market on Truth, just ask them.
The clergyman in question, claims that the King James Bible is THE Word of God. No, you need to read that again. It’s not the Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic manuscripts that the Bible was originally written in that are the Word of God but THE 1611 English translation that is THE inspired Word of the Almighty. The Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek manuscripts, even if we had the originals of the Prophets and Apostles, are not the Word of God. Only the work product of the translators of the 1611 Authorized Version of the King James Bible could produce the genuine text of God.
First this means that Jesus never knew what the Word of God actually says because the inspired Word of God would not exist for another sixteen centuries. Thus, the Septuagint version that Jesus quoted during his earthly ministry was not inspired. I was pointblank told by this guy that Jesus never quoted the Septuagint during his earthly ministry. The only alternative is that Jesus really did talk in Elizabethan English.
Second, the Word of God was not only unknowable in the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek but in its subsequent Greek and Latin translations. Only after translation by fallible scholars over the course of more than 1,600 years could the actual Words of God be known. This idea is as ridiculous as the origin of the Orange Catholic Bible in Frank Herbert’s Dune series.
The idea that the so-called Authorized Version of the King James Bible (KJV) is THE WORD of God is stupid. So, why does he make such an indefensible claim? Because he can’t read Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek and he wants a way to claim superiority over those that do. You see, if you can read the ancient languages, you can prove that the King James has errors in it and that some of his theological positions are false. Taking false pride in his ignorance is just a cover for his shortcomings. Talk about a bully in a bully pulpit.
I recently challenged him on a few of his claims on Facebook and was finally told to view his sermon and all my questions would be answered (or rebutted). For entertainment purposes, I looked up his YouTube sermon. Can you believe that he didn’t even link it to his suggestion to watch it? The sermon was based on John 3:22.
“After these things came Jesus and his disciples into the land of Judaea; and there he tarried with them, and baptized.”
If you read the verse above, you might expect a sermon about Jesus traveling with his disciples and wondering if Jesus was baptizing folks along the way. Or the interaction of Jesus and his disciples with those of John the Baptist in the verses that follow but no, we get to launch from this one verse into a rant about politics and the evils of fellow Christians. Here is his promotion for what you get from his sermon on this lonely and seemingly innocuous verse.
🤔Does your church teach that society and culture will get better and better through the Christian involvement in politics and government?
🤔Does your Church host John Birch Society events?
🤔Is your Church involved with the Black Robe Regiment?
🤔Does your Church quote a man by the name of Doug Wilson, or hold to any of his teachings?
👉If you answered yes to any of those questions then chances are good that your church has been infected with a false teaching
My first thought upon seeing this was an old quotation of Dr. Walter Martin, (a Baptist minister that could read Greek and Hebrew), “A text without a context, is a pretext, usually for error.”
The pastor went from John 3:22 to Matthew 24 which he then tried to cherry-pick. His attempt at logic was this, Jesus takes care of his disciples. You are Jesus’s disciples and thus he will care for you too, but Jesus warned you in Matthew 24: 4-14 about those bad people over there. The linkage between the two verses is imaginary because there is none but why let facts get in the way of a great opportunity to pontificate?
And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many. And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorrows. Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake. And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many. And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.
Jesus warned his hearers to beware of bad stuff that was about to happen to them in a few short years, but somehow, he left out the specifics. Believers lingered in agony for over 2,000 years trying to decipher these words of Christ until our intrepid minister was able to identify what Jesus really meant.
Oh, the bad stuff Jesus was warning about in Matthew 24 (quoted above) could be totally avoided if his hearers fled a few miles to the mountains when they saw the impending signs. Clearly the warning is a local not global catastrophe.
“Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:” Matt 24:16.
But why let context get in the way of bashing people that the good reverend doesn’t like including: Presbyterians, Free Masons (black robe regiment?), members of the John Birch Society, Doug Wilson, or any other “false teacher” as he defines it. (Please note only he has the ability to know the truth from false, it is not based on Scripture but his secret knowledge.)
At this point, I was only about halfway into his sermon and had listened to all that I could stomach.
Sorry, but this portion of Matthew 24 is such a misquoted passage that I couldn’t let it go without comment. I will limit my comments to one word in verse 14: namely, “world”.
And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.
There are three words in Greek that are translated into English as “world” in the KJV. One means the entire world (cosmos), the inhabited world or Roman Empire (Oikumene), and another that often means the land in or around Israel.
It seems that every person I know that is clueless about Greek thinks “world” in verse 14 is talking about the entire planet. They think since the Gospel has not gone to every nation on the planet that “the end” mentioned in verse 14 can only mean the end of history. However, if you bother to look up verse 14 in Greek, something the minister in question categorically refuses to do, it says this, once the gospel has gone to every nation in the Roman Empire (Oikumene) that the end would come. Thus, whatever “the end” was, it is a past event that happened during the lifetime of the original audience that heard Jesus’ words. This makes the biblical admonition in Matthew 24 an historic event that happened 2,000 years ago and not some unrealized future event.
If the minister can’t get the context of the verse correct, then how can we trust his application of the text?
He is abusing the passage to erect a strawman that he can then verbally beat like in piñata. Tearing other Christians down as a way to lift himself up is a constant part of his evangelism. Everyone in his community and his country is going to hell because they don’t agree with him. This guy is like a Babylon Bee parody of a Jack Chick Bible tract.
Oh, many of the people and groups that he attacked in his Sunday morning rant are going to be in heaven with or without his help. Somehow Baptists think they are the only folks that will make it into the Pearly Gates. Why is that anyway?
What’s that old saying about remaining silent and not opening your mouth lest you remove all doubt?
Part of the sermon was an Ad Hominem attack on a group of people that fought to make homeschooling legal in the United States. This minister believes in homeschooling and opposes sending children to government schools but was too clueless to know that he benefitted from the hard work of fellow believers that he was falsely attacking. This really angered me.
When a guy attacks you and your ideas and can’t get your name, beliefs, or history correct, then you know he did zero research. He came to the subject with a conclusion in hand and haphazardly filled in the necessary blanks to further his argument. Oh, unlike him, the people that he attacked know Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek and the history of their faith. They also are prolific writers and not to be trifled with; especially by folks that have never read their works.
Hey, Rev., you might wanna look at this verse:
“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.” Hosea 4:6.
Oh, quoting this verse reminds me that part of this sermon was also a diatribe railing against the idea that Christians should believe and obey God’s Law. Apparently, man’s law or Satan’s rule is perfectly ok for him, but it is unreasonable for us to keep God’s Law. This is literally the definition of antinomianism. I guess God is only interested in men’s souls but not in redeeming the whole man. Last I heard, this was considered a Greek heresy.
In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, the drill sergeant says you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps!
Sorry Bro, but all of you either belongs to Jesus or you have no part in Him.
My Bible says that Christ reversed the curse and that the meek will inherit the earth not heaven. Our job under the dominion mandate is to bring every area of life into subjection to the Lord Jesus Christ.
As you can see, this guy is getting on my nerves. I really want to find a way to peacefully coexist with him since we live in the same small town, but all he wants to do is be the guy throwing people under the bus. Jesus said to love your neighbor not frag them. I guess a high body count on Facebook is his metric of a good day’s work.
I wish he would get the basic subscription level of Logos Bible Software.
For only $15 a month, he could get commentaries and Greek/Hebrew interlinear translations and all the tools necessary to at least make more informed study before making a fool out of himself. I don’t believe ministers need to know Greek and Hebrew but at least have the humility to know that you really don’t know it all. The arrogant, anti-intellectual King James only B.S. is really stupid and not the hill that any serious Christian should be willing to die on.
Oh, other things this guy promotes on Facebook
🤔 The moon landing was faked
🤔 The sun, moon, and stars revolve around the earth
🤔 The pledge of allegiance violates the first three Commandments
🤔 Churches that are 501.c3 have broken the first three Commandments
Knowing that my wife’s mortality is staring both of us in the face, we knew that this year would be the last Valentine’s Day that we would ever share. About two weeks prior, we had tried to find a nice place for a Valentine’s meal but came up dry. In 22 years of marriage, we had never gone to a nice restaurant for dinner on February 14th. As often happened in the past, I had decided to buy a nice steak and the trimmings and hope for dinner on another night. It was disappointing.
However, two days prior, we received a call saying that the best place in town, Tavern at the Lodge, had a cancellation. We were grateful and really excited for this unexpected gift. Tavern was offering a seven-course meal for the evening.
We arrived shortly after 5 PM. Meal service was scheduled to begin at 5:30. We got the table next to the fireplace. I tried all the dishes as they came out. Many I have never had before and likely would never order again. The meal also came with two glasses of wine. One was a very dry white and the other a dry red. I didn’t like either one. Below are a few photos of the meal.
Valentine’s Table Setting
Salad
Appetizer
One of three beverages served
Veal Wellington (sorry but we missed the duck photo)
Wellington showing heart design detail
Dessert
I think we only got pictures for five of the seven items. I don’t claim to be as thorough as Johnnie Does.
After the meal, we stared across the table at each other. We both knew this was the last Valentine’s dinner that we would share together. We both started crying; something I did off and on for about the next 20 minutes. Finally, it was my turn to pay the bill. Once that was done, we went home.
Also in February were more medical procedures including additional chemo and immunotherapy.
The cyst that regrew was removed from my wife’s back. This time the doctor thinks he got it all.
Toward the end of the month was the placement of an esophageal stint. What a horrible thing to do to someone. My wife is suffering terribly as a result of the stint. Her body aches all over and she has constant nausea. The stint is supposed to force her esophagus open to 18 millimeters (50 percent more than it can be stretched any other way.) Oh, and it’s about 5 inches long. How would you like that object surgically placed in your throat? She is experiencing lots of coughing fits as a result. It also doesn’t help that she has more fluid in the plenum cavity in her chest. You know my wife is sick when she is skipping church and shunning visitors.
CT and PET scans in March will likely direct what future treatment that she receives.
Oh, lastly, in my previous post, the news that I posted seemed rather dire. At our last meeting with the Oncologist, I asked about the write-up from the other doctor that I had previously posted about. The Oncologist was dismissive of the conclusions in that report. In short, his comments were thus, one conclusion would require surgery to confirm, and the other is premature but might be supported once the next PET scan was done. He didn’t really say “no” to what was in the report, more that it was just too early to go there yet.
We are less than a month into the Trump Presidency and wow! Can this guy get results. I remember a comedy routine that Mike Warnke did many years ago. In it he talked of hitting them three ways, hard, fast, and continuously. That about sums up Trump. He is not only beating the crap out of the Swamp but making it a very public spectacle of the process. No sane person can defend the corruption that he and Elon Musk’s task force are outing. I had my doubts about Elon but in the early going, but thus far, Elon is a superstar.
The other humorous thing is how stupid the Federal Judges are that the Democrats are crying to about Trump taking away their graft and corruption. In essence, these judges are defending malfeasance and lawlessness. They don’t provide justice; they can only obstruct it.
The very idea that the duly elected executive of the Executive Branch of government has no power to oversee the agencies under his charge is just laughable. All the Supreme Court has to do is issue a one-line statement that the President has a Constitutional obligation to oversee the Executive Branch and then remand everything back to the lower courts. Case closed. Game. Set. Match.
I have to give credit to something Johnnie Does said in a recent editorial board meeting, “Trump is the type of Republican that the GOP promises us every four years and has not been able to deliver since at least Ronald Reagan.”
In politics, everybody loves a winner, as long as Trump continues to be successful, the GOP will gladly fall in line with him.
The Democrats are on the ropes or should be in a sane world. Sadly, for us, Liberalism is a mental (and spiritual) illness. The thought that Democrats will come to their senses is a dream. All they want is raw power. Remember, whatever else they may say, government is their GOD.
Yes, I know that it is unreasonable to expect the dead to act like the living; but I hope that those of us that are alive would at least make them jealous enough to consider the benefits of being real, live, boys instead of wooden automatons.
Democrats are lifeless puppets once their strings are cut
As good as all this is, until Congress makes Trump’s actions permanent, this is just a sideshow. It is encouraging how quickly Trump’s nominees are being approved. We have reason to hope.
