They Want Me Back or Else

If you’ve ever changed cell phone carriers, insurance companies, or anything else that uses your wallet as a monthly income stream, you know that they won’t let you leave without some type of protest or incentive to stay with them. Tried cancelling a credit card? Ditto.

What about when you leave a church?

Yep, they will contact you with a we want you back letter too. I got a “Are you sure?” letter emailed to me following my departure from my former church.

Note: in the quotation below, reference to “the Session” is the church board responsible for discipline.

My response in part was:

I feel very violated by the tactics used by the Session. The Session has broken the trust that I had with the church, interjected itself into a situation with zero biblical cause, and attacked my character by its actions. It acted in a heavy-handed and prejudicial way that was completely unnecessary. If you guys really cared about me, then the Session would never be involved. It is the wrong mechanism to use if helping me was really your intention. Furthermore, the Session has become an immovable barrier to any hope of my reconciliation with Providence.

I then asked to be removed from their membership rolls.

I thought this was the end of the matter but then got another follow-up email.

The latest email asserts the church’s right to intervene in my life. They go on to accuse me of breaking my membership vow before God because I don’t like the way they handled their inquiry of my life. The letter asserts that I must submit to their inquiry and any subsequent discipline. They then say that I can’t resign until they decide that I can. The letter then concludes with an invitation to repent and show up at their next meeting.

And they wonder why I said their tactics were heavy-handed? The letter is clear that I submit or risk hell fire and judgment, their judgment anyway.  

Again, I don’t want to start down a path that is likely a prelude to a witch hunt.

We’re on another witch hunt, looking for evil wherever we can find it
Off on a tangent, hope the Lord won’t mind it
Another witch hunt, takin’ a break from all our gospel labor
On a crusade, but we forgot our saber

Witch Hunt by Petra (1985)

If someone there had or has a concern, then I was willing to answer their questions, but repeatedly said that I don’t want to get involved with the disciplinary board of the church. I have attempted to avoid that and told several of its members that I do not wish for their formal involvement in my personal life. Yet that is their unwavering demand.

It is funny that their letter quotes Matthew 18 in defense of their actions. If you read the denomination’s Book of Discipline, the church board is exempt from following Matthew 18 where it says

15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

When the church board initiates proceedings, as in my situation, they conveniently skip over verses 15 and 16 and jump straight to 17.

What “trespass” have I committed? They don’t know but there has to be one somewhere.

Who came to me to complain about a “fault.” Nobody.

Thus, nobody subsequently came with two or three witnesses before going before the church. Nope, we just jump to the last step. Again, I have not been accused of anything but surely, I must be guilty of something.

And then they wonder why I have an issue with their tactics!

I have done nothing wrong, but the presumption is that I have and these guys need to get to the bottom of it so they can straighten me out.

This is a no-win scenario. This is the exact reason that I resigned my membership.

Furthermore, in issues of relationships, marriage, and divorce, the board does not believe in the right of the church to oversee these matters but defers to the State. They only affirm the actions of the State.

The following is a real example; I have changed the names.

Joe and Jane were a married couple at the church. Joe started seeing another woman on the side. The church board put Joe through the discipline process and ended up excommunicating him. As all this was happening, Jane initiated divorce proceedings. Later, Jane began dating another man in the church. The Board scolded Jane and her new boyfriend for dating. Months later, the family law court granted Jane’s petition for divorce. The board then announced that Jane was eligible to remarry. Now she could be public about seeing her new boyfriend.

Folks, if marriage is really the sole purview of the church, then why wait to say Jane was eligible to remarry? Why not a concurrent pronouncement with excommunication her unfaithful husband? Why wait on the State?

Biblically, why must the church wait for the State? What biblical right does the State have being involved in the marriage relationship? Just wondering. Oh, and please don’t give me Romans 13 as your answer. That’s the same B.S. used to justify the Covid shutdown and a host of other acts of tyranny by the government.

Kenny Rogers famously said,

“You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.

Know when to walk away and know when to run”

The Gambler (1978)

I’ve tried to walk away but somehow; I don’t think they will willingly let me go.

Rampant Fraud … My Solution

I’ve been thinking about the below Editor’s Note,

Editor’s Note: One issue that is not refuted in the above is stolen identities and organized crime. I suspect the bulk of fraud is via this mechanism. In my experience, government is ill equipped to deal with fraud as the presumption of any government program is that the applicant is eligible.

William is in fact correct. Fraud is likely coming from stolen identities, organized crime, and professional crooks.  The honest reality is that the fraudsters are always several steps ahead of normal people.  Think of it like this: to keep the honest person honest you put a lock on your front door.  However, the burglar doesn’t care that you have a lock and has a device to pry said door open.  Bottom line, if the bad guys want it, they will achieve their goal. In this case, the fraud is committed by folks who know how to avoid detection and may even have people on the inside doing the dirty work for them.

I am proposing a solution, unlike many in the Republican Party, I know I want to “throw this out there.”  It’s not perfect but here goes.

Universal Basic Income.

Yep, the 90-day guy called it the “stupidest thing he has ever heard.  Saying that’s socialism.”  The only thing he knows about socialism is that Sean Hannity rails against it. He is loyal to the folks at Fox News.  He describes his generation and Republicans in general pretty well, be against everything.  Folks voting NO on everything is not a long-term strategy. This mentality is what led us to Obamacare.  When asked for his plan, he shrugged.  With the amount of TV he consumes, he should know we are facing a serious crossroads in our country.

Think of it this way, we have so many government programs: Section 8, SNAP, disability, unemployment, welfare, just to name a few, what if we replaced them all.  Replace them with 1 federal government program.  Universal Income isn’t going to be $100,000, not even close.  Income would be verified by the IRS annually with your tax return. If you find work and earn an income over ____ you come off the program.  Steal my identity and apply?  You will be rejected because I earn too much income. This would be verified by the IRS not an administrative law judge.  Lose your job during the year?  You would have documentation of that to be sent in with your application!  To quote Dave Ramsey, folks on UBI (Universal Basic Income) aren’t going to be seeing the inside of very many restaurants.  This will probably be in the neighborhood of $35-55k a year depending on where you live, not work.

We have to start thinking differently about an ever-changing work environment.  People are having their jobs outsourced overseas constantly. Stores close simply because they “aren’t making enough profit” AI and quantum computing are going to replace a lot of jobs.  When workers retire, the replacement is hired for half or two thirds the salary to save money.  This constant cutting of expenses as the basic structure of profit and loss statements does not bode well for the workforce long term.

Our workforce of the future needs to be viewed differently too.  Some people are disabled and cannot work or cannot work full time.  Others will lack a skillset to work. Let’s be real. When Schools and Universities are saying that graduating high school students (incoming class) only read at a 4th grade level, we have a real issue!  That isn’t going to get better with time. That generation is going to be left toiling and twisting in the wind.  We shut down our country for 3 years and it has consequences which are just now being felt. Many didn’t finish high school/college.  Many students also picked up bad work habits due to the Covid shutdown. Most jobs do not get filled permanently. If they have something, it’s just on a temporary basis.  Sadly, these items are basically uncorrectable.  Automation is only going to eliminate more positions which again is making the population more and more unemployed.  Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy have both spoken about importing folks to the USA on H1-B? Visas to work here. Due to the structure of our educational system, that is the future of our workforce folks.

Paying for it?  Well, this is the stumbling block. I’m too lazy to look it up as of press time but collapsing all the federal/state aid programs and their subsequent employees would free up quite a bit of cash to fund this.  We do not know how much fraud is truly going on, but this collapses several programs into one program. Streamlines the process and makes it so theIRS will be annually verifying income.  It may not be the answer, but I think it’s a start.  I have also heard Mark Zuckerburg, and others discuss funding this with some of their own wealth, so there is that.

As far as the obvious Fox News comeback, what will stop people from just not working, or working for cash under the table?  There isn’t, but I will say $35-50k is not a whole lot of money, so your lifestyle won’t be great.  Much like my remark about food stamps, I highly doubt those folks are using them to buy a filet mignon.

Make the application in person only, verified by a government issued ID, and must have a bank account verified in their name.  If they do not possess all three of these, sorry can’t help you.  No judge to sign off, no paperwork mistakes.  Income verified and viola.  As mentioned above, IRS checked each year for fraud purposes.  Get caught, you are arrested and permanently removed from the program.  Check has to go to an address not a PO Box.   Will it stop all fraud?  No.  Will folks on the program use the funds for illicit activities?  Sure.  The point isn’t to stop all fraud going on, that’s impossible. But my idea is to make it a lot more difficult, that’s all.

If you hate my idea…. May I respectfully ask for your submission?

The Chief

Editor’s Note: I don’t wish to speak directly to the merits of this idea, although collapsing the infamous social safety net into a handful of programs instead of the thousands of existing and overlapping programs being administered currently appears to have merit. I just want to remind you of the plans that Joe Biden had for the IRS. Biden wanted every financial transaction in the United States reported to and tracked by the IRS. The goal of the plan was that the IRS would become our financial Big Brother. Part of the proposal was that the IRS would eliminate income tax filing for individuals. At year end, they would either send you a tax bill or a refund for overpaid taxes. One reason for the program was to eliminate fraud (that it would boost tax revenue was assumed as well).

Let’s Play Global Thermonuclear War—Church Edition Part 2

This clear reference to the movie War Games (1983) should be rather obvious. The point of the movie was that when faced with nuclear war, the best move was not to play. Of course, the movie was made while Ronald Reagan was President. Liberals hated Reagan and thought him a warmongering “cowboy” for opposing the Soviet Union; a government that many of them admired. War Games got a very lengthy standing ovation when it premiered at the Canne Film Festival.

While invoking War Games might seem a stretch to some, my conclusion when analyzing my current conflict with my church was that there is a life lesson to be found in the idea that sometimes avoiding a confrontation is best. Anyone that is happily married knows what I mean.

I originally drafted this blog just a few hours before appearing before my church’s board. If you find me changing time tenses, that is probably why.

In their particular parlance, this group is called “The Session”. They are the judicial body of my local congregation. These are the guys that meet out justice as they see fit. Twice in the last year they have excommunicated members for adultery and followed it up by declaring the other spouse fit to remarry. Except for politicians and country music singers, adultery is usually viewed as something bad. Having this group taking an interest in my love life is not a good sign.

I have had friends excommunicated from their churches for dating women from the wrong or unapproved church denomination before. I have seen abuse of heavy-handed dealings with folks for just being honest that they wanted to leave and go to a different church. I have even seen pronouncements of excommunication for people that never attended services and were certainly never church members. My wife and I have also been beaten up by churches that we have attended in the past. I made a vow that I would never again yield any part of my life to one of these judicial boards or to a pastor in any church. I will never voluntarily put myself on any path that might ever lead to church discipline or excommunication, never ever!

I repeatedly told these guys that I am perfectly willing to discuss my relationship with my girlfriend over a meal at any local watering hole but that I do not want to appear before “The Session.” If I’m called before a judicial body to give an account of my personal life, then I’m in trouble. That seems obvious to me.

They keep saying that they “have a few questions” for me. Hey guys, you know where I live, you have my phone number, and email address. I’m retired and don’t have much of a life so I’m rather available for a casual lunch or dinner.

But No. It must be ASAP, and it must be before this body; then they say I have nothing to worry about! Guys, I wasn’t born yesterday. This cover story is not credible. If they want to speak with me, the church is having a Christmas potluck in a few days, why not ask me your questions there?

If I go to this meeting and then answer their questions, then obviously they will then draw a conclusion from the information that I provide, and then the next step is a determination. Determination is another word for rendering judgement. Any judgment issued will then include a follow-up to their conclusion to see if I’m obeying them or going a different way. If I go a different way, then it is implied that they will then jerk my chain and I will again have to appear before them. Thus, like most things in life, my appearance is not a destination but the beginning of a process with no clear or predefined endpoint. This sounds like politics to me.

Oh, what about Matthew 18: 15-17 about going to your brother if he has a fault. Well, that doesn’t apply. First, because I haven’t offended anybody in my congregation, unless not liking me dating someone is a crime, and second because there is an exception to this biblical mandate in the Book of Discipline. If “The Session” originates the charge against someone then the process in Matthew is not required.

Also, did you know that there is no Fifth Amendment in the Bible? Yep, you can be hung on the basis of your own words. So even if they don’t have anything on me when I walk in the door, they can hang me on the basis of what I say in their presence. Thus, the command to appear before them is a fishing license to find a charge to hit me with. To appear is to grant them a blank check to find a charge even where none existed before.

Oh, on a previous post on this subject, an anonymous comment was made that I did not allow on the blog just because it was not signed. Said comment quoted a verse in Proverbs. I would like to comment on that verse now.

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14.

First, the verse is directed at leaders of men, would it be a stretch to think this is advice from one king (Solomon) to another (like maybe his sons). But let’s allow that all folks need counselors and see if it applies in this situation.

 Are the men in my church that are on “The Session” my trusted friends that really know me and what’s on my heart?

Is this situation a meeting of equals? 

Do I see these guys as my circle of counselors?

Nope. Just because someone knows my name does not make them my friend. My wife may have felt that way about everyone that she met, but I do not. I’ve had a handful of true friends in my life; probably about ten individuals. With the exception of the Sith Lord, who dumped me when I was no longer useful to him, I’ve kept the rest of them in my life. True, I don’t see my friends every day or even every year, but our lives are linked, and I trust them and our relationship goes on. When we are together, we pick up right where we left off the last time that we were together.

There is only one guy in my congregation that I am friendly with, and he is not on this board. He also does not know, or even want to know, all the nitty gritty details of my life. We have some things in common and as a result, spend time together. I would describe him as a casual friend.

This is not to say that I dislike the other men in my church; it’s that we have never gotten to know each other very well. We are not actively part of each other’s lives. It is something between presumption and hubris for them to claim to act as my counselors when I appear before them assembled as “The Session.”

No, in “The Session,” they are my betters, and I am the inferior person. This is not a meeting of Christian brothers, equals, or friends. By its very nature, this is an adversarial meeting.

When I walked into the meeting today, I greeted the four people in attendance and shook their hands. The guy from Boise didn’t make the meeting but after about a ten-minute delay, the other fellow finally logged in on Zoom. Once all five people were assembled, the meeting was opened. I was invited to join them at the table, but I did not. Instead, I announced that I was resigning my membership. One of the people then quipped, but you have to appear here because you’re a member. Then I said, “I’m not doing this” and left.

Just so you know, I spent the better part of a week crafting this long speech about my relationship with my girl and all the pertinent details that I was going to offer as a defense and I scrapped it completely. Yep, nine pages of reasoning and airtight logic that will never see the light of day unless I post it separately (which I currently have no plans to do).

So why just quit?

First, they are wrong and out of line. While true, I know I can never convince them of that or this blog post would never exist.

Second, I would rather part as casual friends than adversaries or combatants.

Third, this is a really small town, and we all need to continue to live here after this is over. Folks, most guys living here won’t believe it, but there are high schools in other states that have a bigger population than this town. 2,300 is not a lot of people to be rubbing shoulders with on a daily basis.

Fourth, why should I stay in a group that is hell bent on stringing me up? If I dodge the gallows this time, what will prevent them from trying it again in the future? If not me, then who will they go after next?

Lastly, the closer I got to this meeting, the more the scares of my previous dust-up in a Presbyterian church began to open. Unresolved wounds are the ones you carry the deepest hoping to suppress them. When they burst forth and the new situation is pumping vast amounts of salt into them, the more the pain is renewed and intensified. This steeled my resolve that I would not willingly enter into another opportunity for a church’s leadership to sit in judgement of me. Were my wife still alive, I believe she would support me in this feeling (of course, we’re here because she is not).

This whole thing is so stupid. The church has already lost about one third of their membership this year (this is a conservative estimate) and they want to cap off the year with my scalp too. They are bleeding members and money. Maybe they need to get a clue that some things are not right. Again, they can never be convinced of that and it’s not my job.

In summary, had they come to me as a fellow brother in Christ and not treated me as their inferior, I might be there next Sunday. They have wasted the greatest advantage that they once had, goodwill and trust. Sadly, that has been laid waste because they were too proud to ask me out for a casual meal and then speak their mind.

Let’s Play Global Thermonuclear War—Church Edition Part 1

Yep, me having a girlfriend is too much for the board at my church. I have been summoned because they are “concerned.” Please understand that this is not a casual chat. No, all the voting members are scheduled to attend. Two members, including one that lives almost 400 miles away, are scheduled to attend via Zoom.

I had asked for an informal setting, like maybe over a burger and beverage of your choice but learned that was not an option. If chatting is all this meeting is about, then a casual setting should be in order; however, I have been led to believe that they have other plans. I was assured by one board member, “I’m not up for excommunication just yet” or words to that effect. It was implied that lesser punishments were the likely outcome.

I also asked, why not meet after Christmas? Why the urgency? I was told sorry; we need to do this now.

Given my 35 plus years of experience in and around California Republican politics and the CRA, I know when you are about to reenact the Ides of March. Oh, FYI, in religious politics, it is called “churchmanship” not church politics.

I have had about ten days of waiting for this confrontation. In that time, I have gone over the likely issues that might be raised. Frankly, I don’t see any grounds that can be raised to summon me there. I have tried keeping three board members, including the pastor in the loop of what is happening, specifically for the purpose of avoiding this very action. Clearly my request/promise to him “to give me the grace to get through this and everything will be ok” has not been honored.

I already have a good idea of the likely issues that will be raised. Since June I have been probing various members of the board on their thoughts on various issues that I expected to encounter while hunting for a wife; this was long before I met my future new bride.

What they don’t understand is that I am working through the plan that was formulated about the time my wife was buried in May. Like any plan, once the battle ensued, field adjustments were necessary, but the plan has gone forward, and a successful conclusion is within sight.

I have always been looking for a wife. I have only been looking for marriage minded women, not a quick romp in the sack, or a movie night date. As mentioned, many times on my posts about dating, as a group, American women in the 40 years and older category are a mess and mostly a toxic bunch. I don’t want to finance their mistakes in love, student loans, credit cards, etc.

Zero people that know me or my wife have offered me a single name, no matter how ridiculous, to ask out for a date; but when I fend for myself and pick a nice Christian woman all hell breaks loose. Clearly, they don’t know of anybody or I think, as much as everyone is trying to be in my business now, that I would have heard from them. FYI it’s too late now, I found my next wife.

Two more things have been bubbling out about the church fathers wanting to make me an offer that I can’t refuse.

One is related to the idea that it’s too soon to get married again. Says who? Oh yeah, a bunch of married people gladly giving a single guy the advice not to get married. Guess they don’t want me to suffer by being married like they are. This tells me that they aren’t too happy about having a bride. Just sayin’.

Sorry I loved being married and would do it again in a heartbeat. I find it really sad that Christian people have such a hangup on the idea that marriage can’t be fun. Biblically, it is our proper role in the universe so why not enjoy it? (Can you tell that Charlie Kirk is not influential in these circles?)

Second, right before my road trip to the Philippines, my pastor hands me a tract on grief. If I didn’t know better, I would say he was talking to my mom. I read said booklet last night. It covered no new ground or anything that I hadn’t heard before. One nugget in there was the timeframe for people grieving: three months to one year. As stated previously, I have known that Sheryl would die for four years before it finally happened. My wife and I countered down the last time we will get to have a birthday, Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day, etc. The private hell that I went through was horrible and I don’t wish that experience on anybody, but to deny that I have been dealing with the loss is beyond stupid and borderline evil.

The richest irony in all this is that my attendance at this particular church was due to my wife. Going to this church was her idea and literally the only thing left in my life that we used to do together. Now the church wants to take that away from me too, in part because according to them, I did not grieve her properly! All I have left in my weekly activity that I shared with my wife is being forcibly removed from me at this Wednesday (tomorrow) meeting. Ironically, by the church where she wanted to worship and set down roots. WTF?

I have easily lost over 40 hours of sleep in the last week trying to find a way to solve this mess. I finally settled on a solution today. I won’t tip my hand as to what I chose but I have peace about Wednesday’s meeting.

 My biggest frustration is that I like many of the people involved in this ill-conceived intervention. They are about nine months too late to have a talk with me. Just because they mostly left me alone when I was grieving, and therefore didn’t witness it in vivid detail, doesn’t mean it never happened. Lastly, none of them have walked in my shoes but dare to know better! Really? I thought the Good Book covered that topic too.

If You Can’t Be Helpful Please Stay Out of My Business

This is my personal blog, and I need to vent. I have written numerous posts (probably about two dozen) over the last six months that I have not actually posted. But I’m gonna break from that practice and stick this on the record.

As stated previously, my wife died in April. After much searching, I found a woman worth pursuing all the way to the alter. Instead of being happy for me, many people have made it their life’s work to start attacking me. Sadly, this included people in my family and church.

One vector of attach is that my lady lives outside the United States. My response is so what? I took a look at the available women in the US, and they are a sorry lot. The pickings are slim to none.

I can’t remember what I have posted before but I decided early on that I have no interest in marrying someone that looks like my grandmother. That was a sound and good decision. Why? Because women in my age group that are single, by whatever reason, have zero interest in getting married again. All they want is to dote over grandchildren. They will not move one block further away from the grands and certainly not to another state to live with somebody like me. Leave and cleave is not part of their world.

This leaves younger women. I’m talking in this category of women plus or minus 40. I want the option of having more children so babes in their fifties are not on my radar, plus see comment above on grand kids.

Folks the amount of baggage that many of these broken women have is lethally toxic. Joint custody, student loans, careers, social activities, etc. They either don’t really want a husband or have so many restrictions that they impose on the relationship that it will never work. Many have their mortgage, car payment, and career and then want to add a husband in much the same way as they would add a wardrobe  accessory. They are not serious about marriage, at least not as defined biblically. They are so poisoned with feminism and our consumer culture that they are unhealthy to be around. It is not unusual for a woman in this demographic to start their evaluation of a man’s fitness by the car that he drives and the man’s financial statement. They require that any man in their life be able to pull out his credit card and fix all their past mistakes. I’m not making this up.

Statistically, women in their thirties don’t want to get married. Less than half are even interested and that statistic may really be as low as 34 percent. And that doesn’t mean that the marriage minded  34 percent are actively looking. Our culture is over the cliff of demographic suicide. Why do you think Charle Kirk kept saying start a family? Have children.

Contributing to this abysmal condition in the church is the prevalence of the broken and failed evangelical theology of premillennial dispensationalism. Jesus is coming any second so why plan for the future? Most Christians don’t believe there is any future. It’s all gonna burn and we are just passing through. Just ask them. Why get married and have children if you believe the world will end any second. Yes, this doctrine is bullshit and heresy. I know adherents will complain about my analysis but it’s true and I can prove it. This is why eschatology is a primary issue not a secondary one.

I have spent months scouring Christian Singles websites, allegedly populated by marriage minded women, for any signs of someone wanting a serious relationship and came up empty. My criteria were simple and realistic, but detailed. Zero takers. I even pivoted from the United States to searching for single Christian women anywhere on the planet. I expanded my search into Europe, South America, Africa, and Asia.

 Believe it or not, many of the Christian websites that I tried do not list the ages of the women or the ages of men that they would be interested in meeting. I had some nice chats with a few women between 25 and 31 but we agreed that they were too young for me. I thanked them for chatting, wished them happy hunting, and parted ways.

I decided more radical action was needed in order to be successful in my search. In August, I joined a site called Christian Filipina. Wow!

There’s an old story about someone asking a thief why he chose to rob banks. He replied, “because that’s where the money is.”

Christian Filipina is like the bank. It is chock full of real women that want to find husbands. In one day on Christian Filipina, I met more woman than I had on every other singles website I had tried combined. Of course, the cost of the website is one reason that it is so good, but I highly recommend it if you are serious about being marriage minded.

Because my lady is not from the United States, I am getting a ration of crap from some people. I’ve surveyed the dating screen in the United States and its really crappy.

Oh, lastly, NO. Since my wife died, zero people have suggested a single female for me to take a look at as a possible mate. Bye the way, I’m OK with that. I just wanted to mention that to make the point that people will gladly complain about my choices, but they really are not interested in helping me, they just want to bitch and criticize me only to put me down.

This brings up the other attack vector that people are using against me. These attacks are cruel, evil, and none of their f*cking business. This is the “you haven’t mourned enough for your dead wife” line of crap.

First, how the hell would you know?

Funny how these people tend to be married, with a currently living spouse, trying to tell me what I should do. They have never been through it but somehow are self-appointed experts in what I’m going through. They are totally inflexible. Their minds are made-up. Somehow, they know best.

I have zero respect for folks in this bucket. If you feel this way, please keep your mouth shut. By opening your pie hole, you make yourself a fool and I don’t want to be around people that feel this way about me or my wife ever again. Please just remove yourself from my life so I won’t have to do it later.

Look, I know people say stupid stuff to those suffering cancer or having lost someone to death. I know, I used to say stupid crap too, but I know better now. But the line, “you haven’t mourned enough” is out of line. Even if you feel that way, keep the opinion to yourself and don’t go repeating it to a widow or widower.

I knew for four years that my wife would die from her cancer. How f*cking long must I mourn?

I’ve been mourning since the day I heard the diagnosis and looked it up on Doctor Google.

I knew it both times that we worked on our last will and testament.

I knew it when we chose to move to Idaho.

I knew it when we watched my son graduated high school.

I knew it when we somehow were able to come up with the money to send my wife to sing at Carnegie Hall.

I knew it when we sat down at our last Valentine’s Day meal. We both knew that there would never be another.

I knew it when she was placed in hospice care.

I knew it when her dad and I watched her die.

Please don’t ever say I haven’t mourned enough. That is a lie, and I won’t have it said in my presence. If you really feel that way about me then please get the hell out of my life because I don’t need you in it.

I have some people that I thought cared about me that are gunning for me for stupid reasons. Please stop. If you can’t be happy that I have found love again then shut up and get out of my life. If you don’t then I will remove you from it myself.

Abolitionist Responds

Many years ago, Christian recording artist, Steve Taylor, released a parody song that pretty much ended his singing career and a brilliant run of successful albums. His release of “I Blew Up the Clinic Real Good” was a bridge too far for some folks in the executive suite of his recording label. The song is about an ice cream man that blows up the local abortion clinic because it is depriving his business of future customers. The best line in it is,

Excuse me, sir

Ain’t nothing wrong with this country

That a few plastic explosives won’t cure.

Yesterday on Facebook, I took my turn as the ice cream man of the Abolitionist movement. I asked what I thought was a legitimate and honest question to a post stating that “IVF kills more babies than abortion”.

The guy that posted it was someone I have been Facebook friends with for about a year and a half. He has about 4,600 followers and is constantly posting about the evils of IVF.

I asked, “[name deleted] can you start talking more about alternatives to IVF instead of just condemning it?”

Folks, I think that is a fair and honest question. I think that I stated so in my previous post. But the response from Abolitionists followers was off the rails weird.

“Like all sin the best alternative is the gospel.”

“Adoption.”

I then restated my question. “… what alternatives can be offered to people that think IVF is their only option?”

Restating the question did not help.

Abolitionists were dumbfounded that I would ask such a question. It was so outside of their wheelhouse that it simply didn’t compute with them.

One person said that folks at the IVF clinic simply need the Gospel.

I said, I’m not talking about the Gospel or adoption. What help can you offer a couple walking in the door of the IVF clinic that can’t have children the usual way but wants their own biological children?

At one point I said, we have centers to send people as an alternative to abortion clinics. Where can you send people instead of the IVF clinic? I even mentioned the saying, “You can’t beat something with nothing.” There were zero responses to that question. I can only conclude that they don’t feel an alternative should even be offered.

Other that shouting to infertile couples not to kill their own baby, they seemed to have nothing to offer.

After restating my question for the third time in the same Facebook thread, the original poster of the anti-IVF remarks then started private messaging me and demanded that I call him personally. It was then that I learned that he was a truck driver by profession. He said that he couldn’t text and drive, although he managed to message me several times when he was supposed to be driving.

I finally called him and spent the better part of an hour on the phone. He treated me like I was visiting junior high youth group for the first time and stepped me through his thought process on why IVF was evil.

During this call, it was claimed that there are one million fertilized eggs in cold storage in the United Stated. These eggs are considered property and depending on the clinic and lab arrangements, the biological parents may or may not be considered the owners of these children. (If life begins at the beginning, then they are children.)

At points in the conversation, the man seemed to confuse IVF with surrogacy. He also stated that most people at IVF clinics were not Christians as Christians know better than to pursue IVF which is why giving people at IVF clinics the Gospel is so important.

I reminded him that that was a false assumption. I told him that statistically, there is no difference in the abortion and divorce statistics between the general population and those who identify as Christian, so why would he expect people at the local IVF clinic to be any different? He was dismissive of my remark and didn’t believe it. For someone claiming to be pro-life, this bothered me. The statistics that I quoted on abortion and divorce have often been used to show the ineffectiveness of the Christian Church in the West. I also said that I have never heard any church speak from the pulpit on IVF or abortion. (I am not talking about some throwaway line in a sermon but an actual sermon on the topic.)

After letting him talk for quite a while, I again brought up what alternatives that he could offer. Again, he said the Gospel. I pressed him on it, and he suggested that it was our duty as Christians to adopt all one million kids in freezers and bring them all into the world. Adoption was mentioned as part of this discussion.

Folks. As we were ending the phone call, he promised to send me a URL to a website with alternatives but all I got from him was 3 memes on the evils of IVF.

He also said that a minister that is big in Abolitionists circles named John Speed had responded to my question. I told him that I hadn’t been on FB in a while.

Speed’s response was in five points which I will summarize below.

1 Pastors need to preach about the unethical nature of IVF and that there is no ethical version

2 Pastors need to research #1 to be convinced that IVF is unethical.

3 When infertile couples come to their pastor for counseling, pastor must know NAPRO tech and natural methods to deal with infertility

4 Adoption

5 If you really want a kid, try to get an embryo donated.

Folks, if IVF continues and Christians start adopting frozen children then I think the situation will get worse from the Abolitionist point of view, not better. More demand will require more supply. Only if IVF is ended first would this form of adoption be a good idea.

Later, the original poster of the IVF comment gave me 10 bullet points on the Facebook thread. They include: being content in your current situation, prayer, fasting, adoption, get your “baby fix” at the church nursery, or lastly seek an expert in fertility that is ethical. (Several of the points were duplicate ideas just stated differently.)

This advice was followed up with “Let us “not” to do evil (make and murder babies) so good may come (one baby delivered) to begin with.”

So, there you have it. Abolitionists don’t have any alternate ways of a couple conceiving a child. Their answer, just be happy you can’t have a kid or go borrow someone else’s.

Oh, the initial claim that IVF kills more children than abortion is demonstrably false; if for no other reason than there are few that can afford IVF. Last I heard, we have about 2. 5 million abortions annually and there are about 50 million per year worldwide. Sorry, but the math doesn’t work to support a claim that IVF kills more than abortion.

Thoughts on IVF, Abortion, and Abolitionists

For decades, the Pro-Life Movement was defined by the seemingly impossible goal of defeating the Roe v Wade Supreme Court decision of 1973. Every Republican President since Ronald Reagan claimed to be opposed to this ruling but refused to appoint known opponents of Roe to the Supreme Court under the guise of judicial objectivity. Meanwhile every appointment to the Court by Democrats was a known and vocal supporter of Roe.

In fairness, please note that it is true that Reagan was the only sitting US President to write a book opposing abortion. After his death, Nancy Reagan did her best to block efforts to reprint Reagan’s book, but I think it is back in print. I know because I have an original copy of the book somewhere.

Anyway, Donald Trump comes along and appoints judges to the Court that eventually did away with Roe. This effectively blew up the Pro-Life movement. Many supporters of biblically based political movements are only fair-weather, short-term adherents to such efforts anyway. After decades of defining of victory as defeating Roe, the Life issue now looks very different. In the aftermath, many are asking if defeating Roe was just a pyric victory.

Some in the Pro-Life camp were hailing Trump as its champion during his first term and now many of these same people are claiming that Trump is the archenemy of Life in his second term. Folks, Trump hasn’t changed, just their definition of Life.

That is what I’d like to explore in the next few paragraphs of my blog post.

There is a relatively new group of people in the Pro-Life camp that seemingly didn’t exist up until the Supreme Court tossed out Roe. These folks call themselves “Abolitionists.”

For those not too up on the issue, originally “Abolitionists” were those people that wished to wipeout slavery in the years prior to the American Civil War. Part of the argument against slavery was that black folks were human too and the color of one’s skin did not diminish their value.

With the rise of Darwinian Evolution, many people had a “scientific” fig leave to cover their blatant racism. They asserted that the darker one’s skin color, the closer to apes that they must be. Some men were clearly genetically superior to others. These, so called, scientific facts were the basis of many mass genocides in the 20th Century. This included Hitler and his “Final Solution.”

Praising the same values and rubbing shoulders at cocktail parties with such Elites as those that later became the core of Hitler’s government, was Margaret Sanger, of Planned Parenthood fame.

Now in 21st Century America, there is a new Abolitionist movement. This one is to eradicate abortion in all its varied forms. Folks, in theory, I support the goals of the Abolitionists, but… and you knew there was one or I wouldn’t have much of a post today, but … these guys are going scorched earth on their fellow Christians more than the guys they claim to oppose.

I have spent, and yes possibly wasted, many years in the political world. In politics you meet people that generally fall into two categories, what is possible and what should be. Guys in the, what should be basket, say stuff that sounds really good if you don’t examine it very closely. One go-to phrase is, why should I ever have to vote for the lesser of two evils? The what should be crowd usually votes for long-shot third party candidates or not at all. Guys like Ross Perot, Ron Paul, etc. come to mind.

The quest for perfection before I’ll vote for them, is really dumb. Typically, the folks that whine about no candidates that are good enough for their vote in the General Election sat on their butts doing zero for anybody when the Primary process was underway. Thus, they claim moral superiority over the rest of us and did zero work or investment of their time, treasure, and resources to make their part of the world a better place.

They are worthless leaches that look down their noses at us, the unwashed masses.

A lot of rhetoric from self-identified Abolitionists is firmly rooted in the what should be bucket. Anybody that isn’t hip and up to speed on their issue is their enemy.

Folks, it took over fifty years to convince a ragtag group of Protestants that abortion was wrong. The Roman Catholics were the backbone of the fight for many decades and standing alone for most of the fight. I am hesitant to say that the Pro-Life side could ever claim a majority supported them.

Folks, the Abolitionists, in the minds of many, have moved the goalposts. Victory was always defined as overturning Roe v Wade. It’s done. Roe is no more, and many thought the fight was over.

However, like the proverbial hydra, the head that was removed from Planned Parenthood has spawned several others. I can think of three new fronts on the battle for Life. Think of Planned Parenthood as being the evil corporation in some Hollywood movie, since most villains in their movies are corporations, this analogy won’t be far from the truth anyway. Since surgical abortions are not in vogue anymore, they have been forced to diversify their portfolio of evil. Revenue and death is what they are all about.

Planned Parenthood is the biggest supplier of transgender drugs in the world. Planned Parenthood is knee deep in the abortion pills by mail business. And then there is IVF (in vitro fertilization).

I personally have seen nothing from the Abolitionists about the transgender drug distribution perpetrated on the youth of America by this organization dedicated to weeding out the unfit from society.

The other two categories have both been used by Abolitionists as battering rams to vilify President Trump.

On the one hand, the FDA is continuing to approve generic drugs used for mail order abortions while Trump and his appointees are trying to stop them; or so it appears. I think there are some rogue folks doing what they can to thwart Trump and give him a poke in the eye whenever they can. I’m not convinced that Trump and his administration are ok with mail order murder of the unborn. This issue is leftover from the Biden Administration, and I think it will be dealt with in due time. Putting the proverbial genie back in the bottle, will be difficult with both New York and California encouraging mail order abortions and allowing the drugs to be freely sent to other states. Yet another use of the Interstate Commerce Clause that disrupts its proper application.

Lastly, is IVF (in vitro fertilization).

I don’t know if this is true, but for many years it was alleged that IVF was typically needed because women that had abortions when they were younger, finally wanted children when they were older, and couldn’t have them.

IVF was never a centerpiece in discussions about abortion. It is always talked about as allowing people to be parents that otherwise couldn’t be. In an era of declining birth rates, being parents should be encouraged. Isn’t that, at least in part, the message of Charlie Kirk?

If people are not educated on the nuts and bolts of IVF, why would you expect them to question the process? Isn’t the fact that many couples can have children as a result of IVF a societal good?

Opposing IVF is the line-in-the-sand or litmus test for many Abolitionists.

Yes, technically, the Abolitionists are correct, but … the vast majority of folks they want to vilify are just ignorant not purposefully evil.

I think they are wrong for demanding a top-down political decision. I think they need to spend their time educating the church. Lord knows we need it.

If Covid proved anything, it’s that our seminaries are broken institutions and the vast number of people in pulpits are hirelings not shepherds.

Randy Stonehill wrote many years ago,

We take our loftiest intentions

And engrave them all neatly in stone

And once they’re safely up there

We’d prefer that they just leave us alone.

Randy Stonehill Stop the World 1974

Sadly, for most churches, this was the fate of their Pro-Life and Pro-Marriage statements. Add them to a document never to be heard from again and then these same churches could bury their heads in the sand. Somehow sermons never happen on the topic of Life, or Marriage, or abortion, or anything else that Satan is using to attack the flock. Such messages might disrupt the amount being contributed to the collection plate, and we just can’t have such controversy. After all, Jesus said, “my kingdom is not of this world.” Too often we have a milquetoast church not the militant one.

The gripes of the Abolitionists, as I understand them, are these: many eggs are fertilized but only a few are actually implanted into the mother. The rest are literally placed in a freezer as backups in case they are needed later. This is because extraction of sperm or eggs, depending on which partner needed the surgery, and subsequent implanting of the embryos is expensive. Second, multiple fertilized eggs are usually implanted. Often, at a later date, multiple children are then aborted to prevent the birth of too many offspring at once. A woman can only handle so many babies growing inside her at a time.

Since President Trump is trying to make IVF more attainable, the above (batch fertilization and implanting multiple embryos) makes him a mass murderer in the eyes of the Abolitionists. I think there may be more ethical ways of doing the IVF procedure, but the Abolitionists simply want the IVF procedure banned by law.

I have been involved in the Pro-Life movement in various ways for my entire adult life, and I can’t name one alternative to IVF that allows a married couple to bear children. No, I’m not going to allow a discussion on adoption. That is a different topic. I am talking about biological offspring. What is the alternative when “doing the baby dance” doesn’t result in children?

Gary North had a few phrases that he liked to use in his books. Two come to mind as I consider this topic.

“You can’t change just one thing.”

“You can’t beat something with nothing.”

I think the Abolitionists need to educate their own people (folks in their various churches and denominations) on the subjects that they are passionate about before expecting the rank-and-file pagans to fall in line just because they say so.

Discouraging use of the hormones utilized for mutilating transgender people and stopping the distribution of at home abortion pills are issues that many traditionally Pro-Life people understand. IVF is a much harder sell because it is more complicated and multifaceted. IVF requires an alternative while the other two issues do not.

Again, what are realistic alternatives to IVF?

Can IVF be changed to be more ethical?

Few people try to get the IVF procedure, as compared to the number of women using abortion as retroactive birth control.

Also, how many women are taking the at home abortion pills that aren’t even pregnant? I’d wager quite a few.

Guys, I’d really like to get on the Abolitionist bandwagon, but I don’t know where you’re going or how you plan to get there. The idea has merit. I just can’t figure out if you are a grassroots religious movement or a political one. Lastly, might I humbly suggest that you get like-minded Christians on board with your views on IVF before trying to burn President Trump in effigy for his.

Peace in the Middle East–Dream On

Donald Trump is taking a victory lap for getting Hamas to release the Israeli hostages after two years of “war.” Can you say, “Pyric victory.”

Sorry, but this is just a pause in hostilities so both sides can regroup.

Hamas has no hostages, so now Israel can blow-up stuff with impunity. Also, thanks to Trump, the United States now has troops in the middle of this mess in Gaza. That can only mean that when some of our guys die, that we will green light even more bombardment of Gaza in the name of vengeance.

Hamas is ok with folks getting killed in Gaza. They are hoping that enough wanton destruction will force their Arab Brothers to retaliate. Dream-on baby. Iran and its proxies may funnel arms into the conflict, but most other nations will sit it out.

What has really happened is that Trump, Israel, and Hamas have just agreed to a genocide program to rid Israel of Palestinian Christians. Nobody speaks for them, and nobody cares.

If you weren’t paying attention, you may have skipped the part about Hamas publicly executing people just hours after the Israeli hostages were released. There are no coincidences. Hamas will not disarm or relinquish power. They have only learned to play in their own backyard.

Peace only comes through victory. This war is not over, just paused. I predict that it will continue, just via more subtle means.

Civilians always suffer, but even more so when combatants don’t wear uniforms.

It is stupid that we are involved in this war.

Other Thoughts

Israel is one of the biggest lobbying organizations in Washington D.C. That coupled with the false theology found in many Christian churches that have swallowed the lies of premillennial dispensationalism have created an environment where the current nation called “Israel” is the same nation as that found in the Bible. This is fantasy.

As a result of this false equivalence, many Evangelicals believe that national Israel can do no wrong, and whatever they do is in accord with God’s will, prophetic or otherwise. Thus, Israel is given a pass on behavior. For them, to question or oppose any actions by the current government based in Jerusalem, is to oppose God Almighty.

In fact, for many, to criticize Israel is to prevent the return of Christ. Yep, oppose Israel, prevent or delay the Second Coming. Of course, these same Evangelicals also believe that the price of Christ returning is that two thirds of all Jews will perish in wanton slaughter which somehow causes the rest to believe in Jesus. Good luck with that.

Thus, folks like Ted Cruz support Zionism so that Jews will die which results in Jesus returning to rule. This makes Jesus the king of a ball of radioactive slag not king of a world that has believed the Gospel and been transformed by it. And we think Liberals are mentally ill. Good grief.

Thoughts on Charlie Kirk

Charlie Kirk was killed the other day. It was coincidence that I was in Utah when it happened. It does seem weird that shortly after I drove thought metro Salt Lake City that my brother in Christ was murdered.

Shortly after the Fox News alert, I got a text from “The Chief” informing me that it was a fatal shot. Chief stated that anyone viewing the video knew Kirk was dead. He told me the delay in announcing the death was to inform next of kin. As usual, my staff is Really Right.

Charlie Kirk was doing what he loved, arguing presuppositional apologetics with young skulls full of mush. Charlie was effective in removing the blinders from the minds of young people. He was quick on his feet and gentle in his rebukes to followers of the failed philosophies of our age. His mission was to turn the hearts of our youth toward the reality of God.

I find it remarkable that this unapologetic Christian has been praised by Protestants, Roman Catholics, and even Jewish folks of all stripes. In the wake of his death, people have been spontaneously doing what Charlie advocated, taking back our institutions. People praising his murder on social media are finding themselves unemployed and outcasts. People are seeing a chance to fight back via peaceful means and taking it. Chief was right that Charlie was just a guy with a microphone and a message that is older than our civilization.

Charlie’s methodology of discourse follows in the footsteps of folks you probably haven’t hear of like Cornelious Van Til, Rousas John Rushdoony, and Greg Bahnsen. Charlie Kirk argued that you need to stay consistent with your worldview assumptions. This, in essence, is using a presuppositional apologetic. Bahnsen called it “pushing the antithesis”. Don’t let folks borrow capital from a Christian worldview to prop up their failed philosophy. Look on YouTube for some videos of actor Kirt Cameron doing the same thing long before Charlie Kirk was old enough to shave.

Charlie Kirk touched the lives of many people and his reach on social media will allow his message to reach people long after he is laid to rest. Charlie’s message is eternal because the God that he knew is eternal. Charlie was able to communicate that love with boldness. Charlie will be missed. “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.” This has always been the truth.  

Charlie, thanks for fighting the good fight. Well done thou good and faithful servant. Enter into God’s rest. (see Matthew 25:23)

Am I out of My Mind?

Yesterday I did something that I never would have considered even a few months ago. I will give the punchline and then the story.

Yesterday, I offered to pay the legal fees of a lady if she would file for a divorce. Yep, how’s that for a hook for my story.

I have known this person for a while via a business here in town. She is very attractive except for one thing, she is miserable. The Book of Proverbs references a person with a fallen countenance and this woman sure fits that description. She is in pain. I can feel it when I’m in her presence. Other folks that know her don’t get that sense at all but wow; how could you miss it?

She doesn’t wear a wedding ring, and I personally know some men that have asked her out for a casual date. They were brushed off but were never told that she is married. One of my neighbors is her friend and we had a chat after this woman did something nice for me. It was then that I learned that the woman was married.

I was able to chat with the miserable lady via text message. She initiated the contact, but I will not get into the details here. Via a text exchange, I was able to confirm her agony and marital status. She declined even speaking to me outside of work. The vibe I get is that she has been abused and abandoned. At one point, she said she would pursue a divorce, but not for another five years. Folks, I don’t think she can endure five more years of suffering.

I went to my collection of books and pulled out Second Chance: Biblical Principles of Divorce and Remarriage by Ray Sutton. In this book, Sutton covers biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. In it, he discusses the fact that you can be married on paper but that you may have a partner that is covenantally dead. A spouse can commit sin such that they have destroyed the marriage. If that happens, the offended party has not only a right, but an obligation to file for divorce if reconciliation is not possible.

“Death is covenantal in the Bible, not mere cessation of existence. It is the loss of a relationship with God through an ethical violation of the original bond. It is the severance of the fundamental God/man union, due to disobedience to the covenant-terms…”

“Covenantal death … also means that if the spouse breaks the moral terms of the covenant, he will die to the relationship, and the marriage would be dissolved.”

Sutton lists six grounds for divorce (see his book pages 57 & 58 for more detail)

1 Idolatry, Blasphemy, and False Prophecy

2 Witchcraft, Divination, and Spiritism

3 Sabbath-breaking

4 Sexual Sins

5 Murder

6 Contumacy and Malicious Perjury

Most folks think of the reasons for divorce as adultery or abandonment, but Sutton shows that much more is in view. If a violation occurs, the innocent party is free to declare the marriage as dead and move on.

“… the innocent party is free to divorce and remarry when his spouse commits one of the capital offenses, since the guilty party dies covenantally to his covenant with God, and he simultaneously kills the marriage covenant at that moment. … the innocent party is always required to try to restore his marriage. … He is not obligated to divorce, even if the guilty spouse does not repent, but the innocent party is free to marry.”

Based on the above info, I made my offer. My text to her can be summed up as, if you have a biblical basis to divorce then I will pay up to $3,000 in legal fees on your behalf.

She politely declined but later indicated that she was looking at filing papers now to end the marriage.

One of my friends that had previously asked her out wondered why she waited. My response was, better the devil you know…

Life in a small town can get really interesting in unexpected ways.