On my recent visit to the once golden state, I saw a behavior that I haven’t noticed before. The older folks purposely decided not to raise certain issues just to keep peace in the family. I think this was for their well-being and not mine.
My folks don’t talk about my girlfriend. My mom says she doesn’t want to hear about it but keeps bringing it up anyway. I took the hint and don’t tell her that we will get hitched in a few months. On this visit she kept asking me about my future plans. I gave her an evasive answer since she kept saying she didn’t want to hear about my friend. It was kind of weird.
She also kept talking about women that were previously married not wanting to do it again. No shit Sherlock. I learned that lesson on my trip to Ireland last summer. Somehow, she ignores it when I told her that during my last visit with them, but when she learns it from her friends, more recently, somehow its now true. Keep up with the group mom.
I’m past caring what my parents think about me getting married again. I don’t get why they suddenly care. They wanted me to divorce my previous wife because she was, in their opinion, a “bad mother.”
Essentially, my mom wants me to find a white girl with a bunch of baggage, personal and financial, and somehow that will lead to happiness. Sorry, I don’t want to marry someone that looks like my grandmother—or at least my memory of her. I also don’t want a babe that is Dave Ramsey’s worst financial nightmare.
I know a good deal when I see it. My girlfriend is someone worth pursuing. As I have said before, she checks all the boxes in what I say I want in my next wife.
My other quiet encounter concerns my father-in-law. It was understood that any discussion of a certain baby was verboten. When others brought the subject up, I just deflected. We both avoided the issue which was fine with me. I’m not a biological relation to the child or its parents so that was easy to take a pass on discussing.
So, there you have it, avoid certain topics and you can peacefully coexist, even when visiting family. The key is not to be totally honest and learn which things need to be withheld. They don’t want to know what’s really going on in my life. Check the things that promote drama at the door. Nobody knows everything I really did on my recent visit to California.
Lastly, unless someone ends up in the hospital or the morgue, I don’t plan another trip to the Left Coast this year.