Lyric above were used to introduce the gossip segment of the old TV show Hee Haw. They seem appropriate when introducing a post about getting into someone else’s business.
Sadness. Anger. Pathetic. These are words I won’t use to call out the losers who are criticizing William and his dating situation. It’s a symptom of something else going on in their lives that they act like that. It’s disgusting. Actually, I’ll quote Don Corleone “act like a man!”
However, I would ask William to describe the folks who are treating him this way. I can say without much risk of being wrong. They are, and I quote my Filipino friend, “Pale, Stale, and likely male.” I would expand that universe to females as well. It’s the older generation. Oh, and they are all likely married to boot.
There is a biblical passage “He who is without sin cast the first stone.” The way I interpret it, a group of sinners (we are all sinners) standing around the rock pile and no one tosses a rock. Unfortunately, the way it is now is a group of older folks grabbing multiple rocks and chucking them because they can (since they went to church Sunday.)
Many people use the term ______ is the greatest invention since sliced bread. Well, that generation actually invented something better than sliced bread; they put wheels on a goal post!
The point of this blog is “what is grief?” And how does one grieve?
I have an uncle in my life, he lost his wife to cancer as did William. He had 2 very young girls. He spiraled and became a full-on alcoholic, lost custody of said kids. He claimed he was “grieving.” I guess that would be an acceptable outcome for William? Not the Wiliam I know.
Truth is William has been grieving his wife, it’s been ongoing. I made an effort to call him weekly on Thursdays while his wife was undergoing treatment. It’s what a friend does. I am not married; I have no kids. I have no idea what the loss of a spouse is like. I simply called to give Wiliam a reprieve for a few minutes, a friend should do that. Just because someone has passed doesn’t mean the grieving didn’t start sooner. There were a lot of LASTS. Now William is having a lot of firsts, as in first ______ without said wife. I cannot imagine it’s easy.
To those who are shooting their arrows at William, allow me to ask, what is proper grieving? A customer of mine who lost his wife started frequenting strip clubs right after, is that ok? Is it one life one wife? Someone I went to college with is on wife #3, is that ok? Why is it not ok to chart your own course in life? Doesn’t everyone deserve to be happy?
When did we start comparing ourselves to everyone? Why is it that the nuclear family has to be husband and wife plus two kids of opposite gender? It’s an easy answer; we are now a Hallmark country. Better be married post college, better have a couple kids. The commercials on the TV put it right out there, gotta be a family during this season, single people be damned. Valentine’s Day is worse. The ads are basically saying it’s time to f**k and make babies and if you are not doing that you are worthless.
The bottom line is William is doing what makes him happy. He has a way in life and the path he is on is his. I am happy for him and everyone else should be too. He loved his wife, full stop; no one is happy she is gone, or how she was gone. Some may say war is hell, cancer is hell.
Let William live his life. Live and let live is a motto I live by. I am happy for everyone and everybody, do your thing, do what you do. I don’t care if you’re banging some bleach blonde bimbo or some brunette. I do care if you are banging Jennifer Aniston as that’s Troll’s piece of ass!
My biggest concern is when did it become a thing to “punch down” rather than up. Sure, you may have a wife, kids etc. Why can you not respect folks who do not? Maybe it’s a personal choice, but why? They do this because it makes them feel better about themselves. Jealousy is another factor. The 90-day guy loves to remind me of this every Thanksgiving and Christmas season. He isn’t religious but he always says I am missing something. It’s a shot at me being single. It’s his way of trying to push a narrative. Trust me, he is bitter. He has told me he watches porn. The jokes he tells about having sex with sheep and goats tells me what I need to know. He views his wife as a child maker who is past her prime.
Let William live and live yourself.
The Chief