The Supreme Pontiff Calls out “The Troll”

By Troll

The Blog Father sent an urgent communication to Jake the Snake which he received while at work yesterday. It was an article that said the Pope during his sermon (or homily) earlier this week said folks should refrain from trolling during Lent.*

On Wednesday, Pope Francis added a modern twist to the list of things to quit during the season and beyond: insulting people on social media.

The pope made his appeal to tone things down while speaking to tens of thousands of people in St. Peter’s Square for his general audience on Ash Wednesday, the start of the 40-day season that leads up to Easter.

Pope to Catholics: For Lent, give up trolling
Pope Francis

Just like in the presidential debates, when you call someone out or invoke their name, they get a chance to respond….so Jake put out the Bat Signal and………………..Troll Attack!!!!!!!

At first, Troll thought for certain the signal was a notification of a direct message from Hope Hicks, but alas it was not to be. Once he heard the Pope was gunning for him; however, Troll reacted mercilessly with the following rant.

Batten down the hatches readers Troll takes zero prisoners, better hope he doesn’t get after you next!

First of all……lighten up Francis! Because no one has been a bigger troll than you since you became Pope. Maybe rather than talking down and looking over your fiefdom, you should talk to the actual people; like you once did when you started as a priest and again as a bishop? Back in the day when you didn’t ride around in a Popemobile and didn’t wear such a ridiculous hat?

Give it to me again……give it to me again…..I’m just heating up!!!!!!!

Remember that time when you slapped that poor ladies hand when she tried to touch you…..haven’t you heard of the #metoo movement! Sorry I need to give up trolling on Twitter so…Me Too Movement! You may have apologized, but who do you confess your sins to!!!!!! Jesus himself????? I would love to think your confession penance was to kiss and make up….but that’s only allowed with priests and young boys!!!!!!!

Give it to me again…..Give it to me again…..Give it to me again!

Speaking of the young boys scandal, why do you continue to hide bishops, priests and others who actually did abuse their victims? You know like maybe de-frock them and allow prosecutors to do their job, you may be wealthy and powerful (the Pope usually is one of the most wealthy) but you’re not above the law.

Ok I caught my second wind……Give it to me again…give it to me again!!!!!!!

Why Francis, do you continue to apologize for the church’s misdeeds? Every Easter and Christmas service I hear the same speech which I am told comes directly from you. Look, these folks I call Creasters–they attend at Christmas and Easter only–which I don’t see as being a big deal, yet we constantly pander to them…how come? They do attend on what most would say are the two most important days of Holy Obligation.

One last time Troll…..Troll him!!!!!

Francis, why have you in essence become a Democrat? I say that because you take to the pulpit and you constantly lecture us on what Marx said we should do, not what the Bible says. Shouldn’t your job be to grow the church? Why did I see a sermon from you on how the death penalty is immoral, even though the Bible says “an eye for an eye?” If God didn’t believe in the death penalty then why did Jesus have to die? You tell us in America we must take refugees and immigrants, yet the Vatican where you reside is a closed environment surrounded with a large wall and security force? Must be nice to “do onto others as you would do onto yourself.” I say you are a Democrat not because of your social justice upbringing but because you have made the church into an apologist for all we have done bad over the years, yes, the Bible shares some very nice things from our past, yet why must we continue to apologize for it? I don’t hear Japan apologizing for Pearl Harbor each year!

Oh Boy one last time…..give it to me again….give it to me again!!!!!

Francis, do us a solid, quit worrying about Twitter trolls, because they will not stop; instead, spread the good news of the Bible. The church used to be something where differences were tolerated, now we get shamed or demeaned constantly, all under your tutelage. I used to attend a church where our priest once gave a pro-Prop 8 sermon, I visited that church last year, and it’s so far left of center now, I thought they would be sponsoring an abortion clinic and conducting gay marriages. My current place of worship is now dominated by folks with Bernie or Hillary bumper stickers; keep in mind those same people while being social justice warriors like you, elect apostate Catholics to office at the State and federal level who want to spend my taxpayer dollars to fund abortions thru all nine months of pregnancy!

Ok I lied….I’ll hit confession Friday….give it to me again……give it to me again!!!!!

Finally how come you don’t stick up for Christians? We are being persecuted as a group throughout the Middle East, and now in Europe, for nothing other than our Catholic faith. Additionally ISIS has said they want you and all Christians dead. Yet you don’t speak out against any of this. Funny that you find time to tell me about how bad my beliefs on the death penalty are? Or chide me that I’m not all in on the myth of global warming? I thought you were supposed to say God is in charge not man. You won’t stick up for Christians in China either but give your blessing to the government that persecutes your flock. You should be focused on growing the church, yet you choose these dumb social justice fights? And worse yet you choose to talk about the evils of trolling? Like you ever actually use Twitter? Maybe you should be more like President Trump and clean house….remove the filth, turn over the bad apples to local prosecutors…most seem more than willing to knee cap the church anyway…..let them do it! As far as folks whose beliefs stray from the church’s teachings on; abortion, pre-marital sex, the death penalty etc? They will answer to God upon death, and that’s ok. But please, please stop this senseless trolling you have done since you were elected Pope, or step down….because if I looked up rudderless ship in the dictionary, it would be a photo of the Vatican.

The Troll

Let me leave you with some additional photos of future Mrs. Troll as I will give her up for Lent!

  • Bloggers note: Lent is a season in Christianity leading up to Easter, where for the layman us Catholics “give up” something for Lent…basically an almsgiving. I personally Hope the Troll gives up Hope, because we can all agree there is none for him.