Petsmart Sued for False Imprisonment

This one could make Jay Leno’s Headline segment.

In the December 29, 2006 edition of the Sacramento Business Journal is the following item on page 33.

Rachel Mikel is suing Petsmart, Inc, Whitney Lumstead and Antionette Valles for a complaint of sexual battery and false imprisonment.

This raises many questions to the careful reader including:
How did Rachel get in the gerbil cage?
Are Whitney and Antionette employees?
Does Rachel buy all her leather goods at Petsmart?
Aren’t the cages too small for any kind of imprisonment?

Rachel, that’s not what they mean when they offer obedience classes.