Yesterday I did something that I never would have considered even a few months ago. I will give the punchline and then the story.
Yesterday, I offered to pay the legal fees of a lady if she would file for a divorce. Yep, how’s that for a hook for my story.
I have known this person for a while via a business here in town. She is very attractive except for one thing, she is miserable. The Book of Proverbs references a person with a fallen countenance and this woman sure fits that description. She is in pain. I can feel it when I’m in her presence. Other folks that know her don’t get that sense at all but wow; how could you miss it?
She doesn’t wear a wedding ring, and I personally know some men that have asked her out for a casual date. They were brushed off but were never told that she is married. One of my neighbors is her friend and we had a chat after this woman did something nice for me. It was then that I learned that the woman was married.
I was able to chat with the miserable lady via text message. She initiated the contact, but I will not get into the details here. Via a text exchange, I was able to confirm her agony and marital status. She declined even speaking to me outside of work. The vibe I get is that she has been abused and abandoned. At one point, she said she would pursue a divorce, but not for another five years. Folks, I don’t think she can endure five more years of suffering.
I went to my collection of books and pulled out Second Chance: Biblical Principles of Divorce and Remarriage by Ray Sutton. In this book, Sutton covers biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. In it, he discusses the fact that you can be married on paper but that you may have a partner that is covenantally dead. A spouse can commit sin such that they have destroyed the marriage. If that happens, the offended party has not only a right, but an obligation to file for divorce if reconciliation is not possible.
“Death is covenantal in the Bible, not mere cessation of existence. It is the loss of a relationship with God through an ethical violation of the original bond. It is the severance of the fundamental God/man union, due to disobedience to the covenant-terms…”
“Covenantal death … also means that if the spouse breaks the moral terms of the covenant, he will die to the relationship, and the marriage would be dissolved.”
Sutton lists six grounds for divorce (see his book pages 57 & 58 for more detail)
1 Idolatry, Blasphemy, and False Prophecy
2 Witchcraft, Divination, and Spiritism
3 Sabbath-breaking
4 Sexual Sins
5 Murder
6 Contumacy and Malicious Perjury
Most folks think of the reasons for divorce as adultery or abandonment, but Sutton shows that much more is in view. If a violation occurs, the innocent party is free to declare the marriage as dead and move on.
“… the innocent party is free to divorce and remarry when his spouse commits one of the capital offenses, since the guilty party dies covenantally to his covenant with God, and he simultaneously kills the marriage covenant at that moment. … the innocent party is always required to try to restore his marriage. … He is not obligated to divorce, even if the guilty spouse does not repent, but the innocent party is free to marry.”
Based on the above info, I made my offer. My text to her can be summed up as, if you have a biblical basis to divorce then I will pay up to $3,000 in legal fees on your behalf.
She politely declined but later indicated that she was looking at filing papers now to end the marriage.
One of my friends that had previously asked her out wondered why she waited. My response was, better the devil you know…
Life in a small town can get really interesting in unexpected ways.