A pox on Jonnie Does, Chief, and Jake the Snake’s houses! I had told them Epstein didn’t kill himself and the government was covering it all up! They better be smearing Chick-fil-A sauce over their doors each night! They have been warned! They all tried to get the editorial board to block this blog. I get the last hurrah!
I can appreciate a good conspiracy, NBA draft lottery being rigged, games being fixed, the Clinton Crime Family, People “falling out of 2nd story windows in Russia, and planes “disappearing over Malaysia.” But these four things I know are true; we have never been to the moon, the earth is flat, covid was a hoax, and Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.” Trust me, the first 3 have already been proven true, I will now show you positive proof of the last one.
We were all told Epstein killed himself in his jail cell, he had no help. Jeffrey Epstein, if you are not aware, is the guy accused of “allegedly” sex trafficking girls as young as 14 for wealthy clients/friends/celebrities/politicians/etc. to have sex with. Also arrested and jailed was his accomplice, Ghislaine Maxwell. Maxwell “allegedly” recruited these girls, again, as young as age 14, for this operation.
For years we were left to wonder who was listed on the “client” list, rumors of; Prince Andrew, Alan Dershowitz, Bill Richardson to name a few. He was also running in the same circles with this list; Epstein was a longtime acquaintance of Prince Andrew and Tom Barrack, and attended parties with many prominent people, including Bill Clinton, George Stephanopoulos, Mark Zuckerberg, Donald Trump, Katie Couric, Woody Allen, Jeff Bezos, Sergey Brin, Naomi Campbell, Stephen Hawking, and Harvey Weinstein. Contacts listed in his printed phone directory included Rupert Murdoch, Michael Bloomberg, Andrew Cuomo, John Kerry, Richard Branson, Alec Baldwin, David Koch and Michael Jackson. The “black book” also included Israeli prime minister Ehud Barak, British prime minister Tony Blair, and Saudi Arabian crown prince Mohammed bin Salman. This is quite a diverse list of clients and friends. Several as you can see were either accused of or rumored to engage in this type of behavior. Bloggers note: Due to me naming Clinton as a client, expect me to “commit suicide by 4 shots to the back of my head by a gun I do not own.”
So where is the conspiracy? Well look at that list of clients. Maybe look a couple more times. Those are wealthy and powerful folks who do not want their reputation clobbered and destroyed. Hell, look at Weinstein on that list, he is done. Well, while in jail Epstein died. Yep, in a cell with a live video feed strictly to watch for suicide, he died. It was ruled suicide. He was with a cell mate, kind of odd when you are “that” kind of prisoner. His cell mate was a former New York corrections officer… again kind of weird, huh. Of all the folks to share a cell with, it’s the one occupation that could do the deed and maybe not get noticed or know how to stage it.
Here is a full accounting of his “stay” at jail. Also notice the lack of protocol followed.
When Epstein was placed in the special housing unit, the jail informed the Justice Department that he would have a cellmate, and that a guard would look into the cell every thirty minutes. These procedures were not followed on the night of his death. On August 9, 2019, Epstein’s cellmate was transferred out, but no one took his place. Later in the evening, contrary to the jail’s normal procedure, Epstein was not checked every thirty minutes. The two guards who were assigned to check his jail unit that night fell asleep and did not check on him for about three hours; the guards falsified related records. Two cameras in front of Epstein’s cell also malfunctioned that night.
Epstein was found dead in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center (MCC) in New York City at 6:30 a.m. EDT on August 10, 2019. The Bureau of Prisons said lifesaving measures were initiated immediately upon the discovery of Epstein’s body. Emergency responders were called and he was taken to a hospital. On August 10, 2019, the Bureau of Prisons and U.S. Attorney General William Barr called the death an apparent suicide, although no final determination had been made. The United States Department of Justice‘s Inspector General’s investigation report released on June 27, 2023, criticized jail officials for repeated “negligence, misconduct, and outright job performance failures” in connection with Epstein’s incarceration and death. It also denied the suggestion that what happened was anything other than a suicide. In May 2025, the FBI announced plans to release surveillance footage from the night of Jeffrey Epstein’s death, aiming to address ongoing conspiracy theories. Deputy Director Dan Bongino stated that the video clearly shows Epstein alone in his cell, with no evidence of outside involvement, reaffirming the official ruling of suicide.
Here is the autopsy, again notice the wild inconsistences.
On August 11, 2019, an autopsy was performed. It appeared likely that Epstein had thrown himself violently off the cell’s top bunk, which would explain the damage he suffered, other than strangulation. The preliminary result of the autopsy found that Epstein sustained multiple breaks in his neck bones. Among the bones broken in Epstein’s neck was the hyoid bone. Such breaks of the hyoid bone can occur from those who hang themselves from some substantial height, e.g. jumping from a chair into the rope, but they are more common in victims of homicide by strangulation. A 2010 study found broken hyoids in twenty-five percent of cases of hangings. A larger study conducted from 2010 to 2016 found hyoid damage in just 16 of 264, or six percent, of cases of hangings. Hyoid bone breaks become more common with age, as the bones become more brittle. Forensic pathologist Cyril Wecht noted that hanging by leaning forward would not result in broken cervical bones.
On August 16, 2019, Barbara Sampson, the New York City medical examiner, ruled Epstein’s death a suicide by hanging. The medical examiner, according to Epstein’s defense counsel, only saw nine minutes of footage from one security camera to help her arrive at her conclusion. Epstein’s defense lawyers were not satisfied with the conclusion of the medical examiner and were conducting their own independent investigation into the cause of Epstein’s death, including taking legal action, if necessary, to view the pivotal camera footage near his cell during the night of his death. Epstein’s lawyers said that the evidence concerning Epstein’s death was “far more consistent” with murder than suicide. Michael Baden, an independent pathologist hired by the Epstein estate, observed the autopsy. In October 2019, Baden said that Epstein had experienced a number of injuries—among them a broken bone in his neck—that “are extremely unusual in suicidal hangings and could occur much more commonly in homicidal strangulation”. Baden stated that he thinks that the evidence points to homicide rather than suicide.
So, you see all that info right? Seems suspicious, maybe conspiratorial right? You know what the easiest way to debunk a conspiracy or myth is? The truth. It isn’t that hard. Pam Bondi claimed she had the documents and was going to release them. Including the client list. Also, there was video to be released, I believe circa 8 whole hours. Bondi and Kash Patel seem competent, so I believed it was the case. Epstein didn’t kill himself; they said it as well. They released the documents and footage. BIG PROBLEM. There is a minute of video unaccounted for. Oh by the way, it was between 11:59pm and 12:00 am. Yeah, no conspiracy there right? Wild time for the video footage to be spliced together, but yeah, no way he was murdered. Oh, and the client list? There is/was no list.
So, answer me this. If there is/was never a client list, where was the crime? Why is Maxwell still in prison? Why was Epstein in prison?
Sorry, but I’m now a believer that this story was covered up in a bi-partisan way. Too many rich and powerful on that list, things were leaking out and action was needed. Epstein was offed in prison, Maxwell continues rotting there today, and all files gone, including one minute of camera footage from an 8-hour recording. You had 1 job, you said it never happened. I thought this conspiracy would die out, but nope, you re-opened it and made more believers that he didn’t kill himself.
Final serious thought. It’s a troll blog so it’s satirical in nature, but I do believe the alleged crimes were committed, I also believe the powerful came together to squash this issue. Donald Trump seems to love shining light in every corner to watch the cockroaches scramble futilely, but in this case he failed. Patel and Bondi, as mentioned above, seem pretty sharp, and this was the equivalent of a wet fart they dropped on us. Next thing you know, they will say they have proof 2020 election was rigged, then say well actually it wasn’t. I will say this; the world is a better place without Epstein, it will be a better place without Maxwell, sorry but it’s true. These crimes are the lowest of the low. Trump, you better figure some things out, because you are starting to look like the deep state you claim to be fighting. I guess if you live long enough you see yourself go from hero to villain.