Rosie Gets News Job

Rosie O’Donnell is leaving “The View.” She has been unable to come to terms with ABC. Rumor has it that she will be moving to CBS to take the slot currently held by Katie Couric.

Veteran CBS reporter and former news anchor Dan Rather praised the move, “Rosie is like a bulldog. She will follow a story wherever it takes her and leave no Bush unwatered. She has good instincts and knows that the Catholics and Republicans are the cause of all our country’s ills. Her pursuit of the truth will put CBS on the cutting edge of journalism and bring a dignity to CBS News that it has been lacking since my retirement. She will be an excellent replacement as news anchor.”