Trigger Warning: the following post discusses mature issues such as body parts, reproduction, family relations, and other stuff. If you are thin skinned, narcissistic, or easily offended then stop reading now. You have been warned.
I will give you a countdown to change to another article.
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Ok, thanks for sticking with me on this one. This post is about my vasectomy reversal. Again, if the topic offends you then turn back now.
First some history.
My wife and I were married in 2003. She spent almost all of the first two years of our marriage pregnant. Yep, three months into our marriage, she was pregnant for the first time. We had just started to tell people in our circle of friends, mostly at church, that she was with child and then she lost the baby.
I remember the drive home from work in the middle of the afternoon. Trying to drive and bawling my eyes out is difficult but I made it to the hospital. My wife was in the emergency room at Kaiser South Sacramento. She was sitting in the emergency room for way too long and nobody was in a hurry to see us. Once I got there, she pulled out her trusty cell phone and called Carolyn. Carolyn was a friend and a doctor on staff at that hospital. She came immediately to the ER to help her friend, my wife. She walked us from the ER to see an OBGYN doctor. No paperwork, no waiting, just service. Ten minutes after calling Carolyn my wife was finally being helped.
A few months later, my wife’s ex, her children from the previous marriage, and her former in-laws all took a trip to Mexico. It was Valentine’s Day week in 2004. It was during this period of no children in the house that my wife became pregnant again. Our son James was born in November of that year.
In the spring of 2005, pregnancy number three happened. Again, just as we were prepared to tell people, she lost the baby.
At this point, my wife took a trip to the OBGYN. After that fateful visit, we had a talk. During her pregnancy, she had gained a lot of weight and never lost it after our son was born. The verdict of the OBGYN was that my wife was too overweight to successfully have any more children. Thus, a proposal was put before me, either I had to have a vasectomy, or she had to have her lady parts “fixed”.
Since it was easier for me to have a vasectomy than for her to get her tubes tied, she pushed me to get the vasectomy. I reluctantly agreed. In exchange for me getting the surgery, she promised me more frequent sexual relations since we wouldn’t need to worry about any more children.
Editor’s Note: never do anything for a women based on a promise of more and better sex in the future. Such promises are hollow and unenforceable.
Reluctantly, I agreed. Folks I never wanted to do this, but it was the only time she played the “if you love me…” card during our marriage. I wanted to please her and who says no to more sex with their wife?
About ten years later, she had her ovaries removed as a preventative, in an effort to avoid getting cancer. Ironically, she later died of cancer, just a different one.
Following her death, I received a small insurance payment. With that money, I had promised to take a trip that we would have enjoyed going on together. That was my trip to Ireland last year.
At the same time, I was booking the Ireland trip, I decided to right a wrong that I still regretted from our marriage. I wanted to be whole again. Thus, I made an appointment to get a vasectomy reversal. I researched the topic and landed on a place in Ogden Utah that specialized in the reversal procedure. I paid for the surgery and got on the waiting list. The surgery was scheduled for September 9, 2025.
FYI As it turned out, Charlie Kirk was assassinated the day following my surgery. Charlie died about two miles from my hotel room on the day I checked out of the hotel.
Folks, by the time I booked the vasectomy reversal, I had been doing enough online dating that I knew that I wanted someone younger than me. I have stated before on this blog that I didn’t want to be dating someone that looks like my grandmother. I had decided that I wanted to find a woman about 40 years old. I knew that women in that age group still desire the possibility of children but a guy that can’t offer that is handicapped when they are sterile.
After booking the surgery, I met my girlfriend, fiancé, wife, or whatever the correct title is. We discussed the issue of children. And, yes, she would like a few kiddos in her world. However, she said if God will give us children, then that will be good, if not, we can try other ways of having a family. Being with me was more important than children but she would like both.
Seven weeks after the vasectomy reversal, I flew out to see her for a month.
The surgery place in Ogden provided me with four test kits. Periodically, I was expected to send in samples for testing. The test prior to my trip was negative. The test after my trip (December) was negative as well. Spending a large sum of money only to be shooting blanks was painful and discouraging.
Following the surgery, I told some friends that knew about me getting a reversal that all my private parts were black, but not bigger. Folks, the amount of bruising was remarkable. It took over six months for the dissolvable sutures to go away. The healing of my scrotum was uneven and slow. The horizontal cut was substantial. I later found out that even though the reversal utilizes microsurgery that the testicle is fully removed from the scrotum so the doctor can do the operation. Oh, the vas tube they attach is almost the diameter of a human hair. In my case, the vas tube had to be directly attached to each testicle. Sorry, I didn’t get a splice job, I got the deluxe reversal surgery.
This brings us to the present.
I am going to see my lady for two months at the end of September. I tentatively plan to return around November 30. On this trip, we will be participating in a “blessing ceremony.” (Something that didn’t happen on the previous trip.) Whether said ceremony is recorded with the government is unknown at present. It is mathematically possible that the annulment will be completed during my stay, which makes recording a possibility.
Anyway, prior to my trip, I wanted to pull out the old test kit and see what the lab in Ogden said. I mailed sample number 3 on Monday of last week. The package was delivered on Thursday. Since I didn’t hear from them on Friday, I was expecting the results on Monday. When the results were zero, they were always followed up by a phone call saying to hang tough, it’s not the end of the road yet, so don’t be discouraged.
Last Sunday night, I got an email from the place in Ogden. Yep, at 8:20 PM on a Sunday night, the test results rolled in.
My first thought was, what the #!@%?
Folks, for the last few weeks, I have been planning when would be the best time to redo the surgery after this report came back with bad news too. Oh, BTW, my answer was January. I even told my girl that redoing the reversal is cheaper than the other alternatives that I’ve seen on the internet. Believe me, I’ve been researching this for a few weeks now. Folks, everyone screams do IVF, but it has some serious ethical issues that I wish to avoid.
Anyway, I got up the nerve to read my reject letter. Most of the first paragraph was even in red letters. This turned out to be boilerplate language about verifying my contact information. As I continued to scroll down, I saw my name and date of birth. Yep, that’s me and that’s my birthday. Then I kept scrolling. Date of analysis was August 28th. Yep, Friday. Then was “Total sperm concentration: 7 million/ml.”
BINGO.
Yep, 7 million is a great number for a vasectomy reversal. I reread it. I was shocked. I texted my girlfriend and then select members of the blog staff to share the news.
This guarantees nothing as far a children goes, but it means I can do my part in the process. The reversal I wanted has happened. Folks, a lot more things have to align on the female side before invoking words like “family” but it’s a start. I wanted to promise the possibility of offspring and now I can do that.
God has answered yet another prayer for us. Boy, am I a happy camper.
Final Thoughts
Folks, I know there are a lot of naysayers out there that think I should crawl under a rock somewhere and wait to die of loneliness or old age. For them the thought of someone my age getting into another relationship is preposterous. To them I say, “Go pound sand.”
God put us on this earth to convert the world and exercise dominion over this planet until every square inch acknowledges Christ as King. This was the message of Charlie Kirk. Biblical faith is the long game. Those people waiting around doing nothing as they wait for the Rapture are the useless people wrecking it for the rest of us. Their disbelief is the biggest problem in our society not Democrats, Islam, or socialism.
Charlie Kirk was right and I’d rather go down like him, instead of sitting on my butt watching Fox News and contributing nothing. Family, faith, and hard work are the way out.
My grandfather lived to be 96. My dad is almost 90 and in great health. If I make it as long as either of them, then starting another family is a no-brainer to me.
My last comment is that there is no such thing in the Bible as retirement. We are to work until God takes us home. I choose faith and family over frivolity.