Yep. It’s about unanimous that my immediate family (and a few others) are unsupportive of me. Somehow, I’m expected to be miserable for the rest of my life and must continue to pine over my deceased wife until I too wind up in the grave.
I’ve gone from irritated to just plain done with the lot of them. This characterization is an understatement. If I’m guilty of anything, it is being too forthcoming with people. My conclusion is that folks don’t really care what I’m up to just as long as they can find fault with me. Why I must be put down to lift others up seems perverse to me.
Before going further, you must know that my mom has repeatedly told me that she does not want to hear anything about me and my girlfriend. It is a forbidden subject when I’m at her house; however, she keeps bringing it up, both at her home and via random phone calls. In recent months I’ve gotten two rather weird phone calls from her.
The first call was about how I had no right to make her a grandmother again. That doing so would be unfair to my parents and somehow a burden which they did not want. Folks, if you can explain this behavior then have at it in the comments. Last I heard, bringing children into the world was supposed to be a blessing, well except for them anyway. My folks have repeatedly said that if they had a chance to do life over again, that they would never under any circumstances have any children. Zero is the best number. As the oldest child, that comment clearly says that they were not happy with the way that I turned out and thus, why have the other two after me? Oh, this was said multiple times to us during family lectures.
Then there was the whole thing about the necessity of me needing to divorce my wife because she was a terrible mother and surely, I could do better than her.
The more recent phone call was just as out of left field. She wanted to know about my upcoming trip to see my girl. Since she is on record as not wanting to know, I told her only what day my flight leaves and when I think I will return.
I could bring a few other things into the discussion but what for?
Gary North famously said that you can’t beat something with nothing, but my family thinks nothing is a far superior ambition.
The number of people that don’t think I have a right to make my own decisions and live my own life is apparently legion. Nobody wants to walk a mile in my shoes, they just want to know why I even have any shoes, where I got them, and how much they cost.
Folks, I’m torn between blasting certain facts all over Facebook and just going radio silent. Radio silent seems a better strategy. I will not be around for Thanksgiving, and I just might boycott Christmas with any family as well. I also think future trips to see my girl will be off the record, as well. I’ve just had enough abuse, condescension, and bullshit.
Folks, this blog may make you want to throw bleach over your eyes. It’s that bad.
Jeffrey Pribble, a varsity football coach and teacher at Tracy High School, was arrested last week after police said his cell phone was found recording students in the boys’ locker room.
Pribble, who began coaching at Tracy High School in 2004 and became head coach in 2021, was arrested on campus Friday afternoon. According to the Tracy Police Department, students discovered the phone recording them while they were changing in the locker room. The students stopped the recording, deleted the footage, and turned the phone over to a staff member.
The police department said Pribble was arrested on a misdemeanor charge. It said it generally involves intentionally using a concealed camera, or in this case a cell phone camera, to secretly record an identifiable person who is fully or partially undressed in a private area where they have a reasonable expectation of privacy.
Pribble was issued a citation at the time of his arrest but was not booked into San Joaquin County Jail. He was processed at the police station and released.
Ummm, so catch and release doesn’t just apply to fishing season. Okay. Folks this guy (teacher) literally had a phone camera recording boys changing. They got him on a misdemeanor, but I have a feeling a felony or Megans List is coming. Bro, why are you recording boys? As a troll, I would comment “stop being a Leo Naranjo,” the women at a high school or local gym are barely wearing clothes. Visit there, use your eyes.
This coach needs to go away for a long time. Do not let your eyes confuse you. He is a sick puppy dog. Folks, hiding a phone or any other recording device in a locker room is sick.
Maybe, what is sicker, is this coach had the ability to walk through said locker room as often as he wanted as a male. Gross.
The Troll
Editor’s Note:Back when I was in the military (1982), the female Lieutenant—in charge of our bootcamp barracks—used to frequently walk through when we were taking showers. Since she was the supervisor in charge of our drill sergeants, we had to permit her entry into the building at any time; night or day.
There is a lot of talk lately about Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania switching parties to the GOP. This is because he has shown strong support for Israel.
Senator John fetterman
Make no mistake about it, Fetterman votes with democrats 90% of the time. Yet there is serious talk of a primary challenge in 2 years. My advice? Do so at your own peril! About 12 or so years ago, Democrats did a primary challenge to a sitting senator in Arkansas. The far-left candidate challenger won, and got blown out in the general, they lost the seat. Now it’s a Republican who seldom votes with the Democrats. It’s called cutting off your nose to spite your face.
The Republicans do similar things; they despise the senators from Alaska and Maine. Those senators, while they aren’t MAGA, they do vote about 70% of the time with the GOP. How often will a Democrat who wins the seat vote with the GOP? I’d say not very often. Folks, if these ladies, and they typically do; vote in favor of the Supreme Court nominees, support tax cuts, and want to try to reduce spending I’m good with them. Also, Maine and Alaska are very different from other Republican traditional states. Note that party line votes are very rare in nature except when it comes to tax cuts and judges. A bill to regulate the seafood industry more or less strictly, may draw a different vote than from an Oklahoma Republican. It is far more important to vote for what’s best for your constituents, state, or district, not a party-line vote on a bill that could have a serious impact on your state.
Finally, I need someone to explain this logic to me
Everyone’s favorite jagoff, Leo Naranjo, was spouting off on a blog about how we need to get rid of two Republicans in Sacramento (the capital), one from this area. Yes, replace them with Democrats in November because they aren’t MAGA.
Leo Naranjo
He belongs to the CRA, so his take makes sense in his mind. One of them he is attacking is Josh Hoover. Hoover occupies a seat that has a Democrat registration edge; he beat a Democrat entrenched incumbent. His district is suburban in nature, as opposed to the typical, more rural Republican traditional district. The timber industry or cattle ranching business is likely not the most salient of topics for him to vote on. I know Republicans who are angry in various groups because he has been fighting for remote work for state workers. He has a lot of state workers in his district, and they are likely the crossover voters who picked him and got his re-elected. Nothing wrong with this. Hoover is also a great retail politician, he goes to just about every event in his district, not just the Republican ones. He knows how to work a room, Republicans could learn a lot from him. But they would rather he be gotten rid of.
The other issue they do not see, from their perch typing angry comments in a blog, is they are killing the farm team. I witnessed this firsthand after Dan Lungren lost, we had zero good candidates to run for his seat the next cycle. We had no farm team in place to step in when needed. A candidate like Hoover has a built-in fundraising network, connections at most groups/clubs/events, and knows how to campaign. But instead, these types want a whacko who writes comment-after-comment in other people’s blog comment section after he doesn’t win. (Oh, who, by the way, has never uttered a single word about any Democrat). Look at the types that are backed by the CRA, the door-to-door vacuum salesman, the soda jerk at Woolworth’s, the local ice cream man, or the chimney sweep gets their backing as candidates because they agree on far-right ideology! Really, that’s all they need? Christine Bish and Craig DeLuz never came close to winning an election (full disclosure, I’m referencing state or federal, Craig is a school board member, I believe still).
In closing, I’m not saying every elected needs to be a moderate, Marjorie Taylor Greene and her personality played well in rural Georgia, AOC and her crazy ideas play well where she is.
Marjorie Taylor Greene
But MTG won’t play well at all in a district like Hoover’s and AOC won’t play well outside of a very populated city. Two things can be true. If a squish is elected in a far left/right district by all means get them.
As stated before in this space, Megan Eisenberger and Brad Ng laid a turd in the punch bowl in regard to prosecuting the K Street shooting here in Sacramento. This blog is taking a look at a different part of the trial, the witnesses.
Megan Eisenberger
Ng and Eisenberger handed out immunity from prosecution like it was candy on Halloween to the folks who were present when the shooting went down. I am honestly not sure why. If you didn’t fire a bullet nor posses a gun or help the assailant flee why the need for immunity?
The second major misstep was declaring this was a gang related trial. Folks, I will share this with you and I am sure quite a few feel the same way. I have no issue finding a common person guilty of a crime if evidence points to that verdict. Folks if it’s a gang related anything keep me the heck away! It is not about me turning the key in the ignition of my car and it not turning over, it’s about not being shot 12 times at the sandwich place. Folks gang related trials mean gang members in the galley at the trial, no thanks. There was a saying when I was little, snitches get stitches, yeah, I don’t need that.
Folks, the witnesses called were the dregs of society, everyone outside of the guy in the hotel lobby and the 12-year-old selling hot dogs (again at 2 am wtf?) were a poop soup. Even the girl whose sister was killed was a hostile witness. The colorful language she used toward both the prosecutor and defense was crazy! Oh, did I mention her sister was killed? Yeah wild. Folks, I do not like and have never gotten along with my sister, but if she was shot and I was a witness, I’d be a good witness. This was like Cheer’s “where everyone knows your name” and was always glad you came.
I have a feeling, it was a list of give me immunity, and I will forget what I told the detectives. Folks, let me remind you, 114 shots were fired. Six people died, 3 were shooters. The three (one died in jail) who were caught ditched their weapons in the river or a planter box. It should not have been hard to secure a conviction. Why not move the trial to El Dorado or Placer County? Heck move it to San Francisco and you might get a conviction on murder 2.
This whole thing stinks, Eisenberger and Ng really messed up and now a couple hardened criminals may walk.
To be continued at a hearing for re-trial in October.
By now, you readers know I am a Libertarian who basically believes in a person’s right to do anything they want when they are an adult. I believe in personal freedom. So why do I hate gambling? Shouldn’t someone be able to gamble if they so choose? The answer is a “yes” and “no;” sure, in principle, a person of age adult is more than okay to gamble his paycheck on red or black.
The problem is that gambling has spread immensely and, in my opinion, is unregulated now. It used to be you had to make a pilgrimage to: Las Vegas, Tahoe or Reno; if you lived in California. In Nevada, it’s kind of an anything goes state; prostitution is legal, your drinks are comped free at casinos, and gambling is welcomed. I have no issue with this. My issue is, California and a lot of other states, have decided to legalize Indian Casinos to operate in them. Back then a couple popped up here and there, but now darn near every town in my area has one. To give you an idea, within a 1.5-hour drive from my house, I can go to Cache Creek, Thunder Valley, Hard Rock, Jackson Rancheria, Sky River (down the street from me); in addition to a couple of gambling halls in Sacramento. I’m sure I missed a few others, but you get the point. Oh, and they are building 2 more in the same area over the next few years. Even these casinos, while I see it as nothing more than a money grab for the city they are located in, don’t bother me too much.
What really bothers me is the roll-out of daily fantasy/sports gambling right on your phone. Yep, even actual gambling. The Supreme Court legalized it, and most states allow it. The problem is regulation and compliance laws do not exist. While drafting this blog post, I actually tested this theory and was stunned at how I was able to circumvent the laws in place. So, the actual gambling sites i.e. Fan Duel and the like are illegal in California. The Indian Casinos defeated that proposition. But I was able to download the app on my phone, use a fake name, address and viola, it worked. I used the name of a character in the movie Animal House and an address of 101 Main Street, yep it worked. Upload a copy of a government issued ID? Nope, not required. Verification of my identity? Nope. The rules for gambling sites are about as stringent as voter requirements in Blue states. I am free to place what amounts to illegal bets on this app platform. Now to be fair, I’m sure if I placed a couple large wagers and won, emphasis on won, they would flag my address and name for fraud. The key Is winning wagers.
The problem that this brings up is underage gambling.
Younger adults report even higher rates of early sports betting and online casino play before age 21 compared to older generations. The survey found that 33% of 21–44-year-olds placed a sports bet before 21, versus 11% of 55+.
“Youth are at significantly greater risk for developing gambling problems, and as gambling becomes increasingly normalized in media, sports, and online spaces, the risks grow,” said Heather L. Maurer, MA, CAE, Executive Director of NCPG. “Prevention and education are essential to ensure young people, families, educators, and policymakers understand the potential harms and are protected from early exposure.”
This is a real issue; there is no way to verify age via an app on your phone to see if you are of legal age to gamble. Just like a pornography site, check a box saying you are of legal age, and you are good to go. You would think with AI and other means, it would have caught me using a cell phone in central California, caught me using an obviously fake name, and using a fake address, but no. They likely operate under a business model that if I won a few bets, they would flag me and make me either pay back the winnings or sign some legal mumbo jumbo saying I will never bet with them again. If you are underage, I would assume you pay back the winnings and if you lost money they would make you whole. I say the latter is to keep the regulators at bay; you don’t want the government snooping around when it comes to underage gambling. But you can see it’s a problem.
In closing I will say this; it’s a bad vice. Comparing it to alcoholism, a large bottle of Jack Daniels can likely last you three days or more and costs around $30. Pro and college sports can be found daily, and even several games a day. While bets may start at $5 or so, it will add up quite quickly. I was stunned at all the things you can bet on in a game; not just which team will win. You can bet the over/under on the total points scored and bet on just about every player’s stats they will put up. Oh, and the latter bets carry much larger potential payouts, so as a result you bet more. Oh, and your phone app doesn’t know if you are of age, or in a state of intoxication, making it illegal for you to gamble. It should only be legal inside of a casino, but we have built so many alternate means of access that gambling is very much available to any and everyone.
This post is about willful ignorance and my frustration with it.
Folks, over the last year, I have been crystal clear about the intricacies of navigating the legal and ethical dilemmas that I have encountered in my relationship with my special friend. The basic frustration that I have is that Americans tend to think that the whole world works by the same rules, laws, and rights as our own country. This is clearly not the case.
The old adage of my parent’s generation has often been stated as, “My house, my rules.” Somehow though, many people don’t think that this saying is relevant to countries other than our own. Every political entity has its own unique laws, regulations, customs, assumptions, etc. Our country may have common borders with both Mexico and Canada but trust me, both places have different laws, customs, languages, food, etc. than our own.
The common assumptions that undergird our country are things like English Common Law, Protestantism, religious liberty, freedom, and rights proceeding from God, etc. But what happens when you are forced to interact in a country that never based their culture and society on these things? Is it reasonable that they will see the world just as we do? My answer is “NO.”
President George W Bush
Why was George W. Bush’s idea of nation building in Iraq and Afghanistan folly? Establishing democracy in an area that had no concept of individual rights was ridiculous. It had to fail. Folks, at least one lesson here is that imposing our culture and attaching expectations upon someone with no concept or appreciation of our values is stupid and can’t work, yet we continue to do it.
Ronald Reagan talked often about men yearning to be free but if that is true then why are so many in our country yearning to be led and enslaved by socialism and communism? Like Orwell’s 1984, they are screaming that “slavery is freedom.”
The answer to the above is that Reagan presupposes that the society is Christian while the Communist presupposes that humanism, evolution, and atheism are true. Different folks have different worldviews and assumptions that undergird their view of society, culture, and nation.
The problem that I face when talking to people about my situation with my girl is that they have no frame of reference to understand the situation but the one they are living in. Frankly, it’s a lot like talking to someone who is immersed in Premillennial Dispensationalism. You can show them a verse that disproves their worldview, but they can’t see it because they filter it through their presuppositions and can’t read the text on its own merits. As mama used to say, “It’s like talking to the wall.”
When I explain that my girl is eligible to marry me, folks can’t grasp the concept. The church in her country has declared that her marriage is over, she is the innocent party, and she can marry me. This should be the end of the discussion, but it doesn’t compute to people here. “How can the church declare anything about marriage?” they any ask.
The presupposition is that the State is in charge of marriage. My question is, “Where in the Bible do you find such an idea?” It clearly says in the traditional marriage ceremony, “Whom God has joined together, let no man pull asunder.” God makes marriages not governments.
Governments claimed the right to regulate marriage—at least in this country—about 120 years ago as a scheme for generating tax revenue for local governments not because God changed His mind. Yes, if you like then you can go back to the Supreme Court cases about polygamy in the late 1870’s but my point still stands; government claimed the power and churches were silent on the power grab. This silence by churches does not make the government overreach a legitimate act. Later government decided to allow tax benefits based on marital status. Further strengthening their hold on matrimony and thus its dissolution.
If government owns the power to create marriages, then it only makes sense that they remove the church’s power to end such unions as well. Naturally, the power to dissolve marriages also fell to the government and their brethren in the legal profession.
I think most folks will agree with my basic thesis about marriage in the United States, but what happens when you interact with a country that knows no such thing as divorce? Their presupposition is that marriage is in fact created by God and divorce is anathema in their society?
This question, boys and girls, is the hinge that takes you to a place that you can’t comprehend. A place with no divorce. The only way out of a marriage is to prove that one partner is defective and incapable of making a forever vow before God. Such a finding must be made, not in civil court, but before a trial judge with a full-blown court proceeding. This place is not a parallel dimension or gateway to the Twilight Zone but another country. Here you need to act in accordance with someone else’s laws, culture, and way of doing business. This ladies and gentlemen is what you encounter once you leave the borders of your home country; the good ole US of A. Welcome to the world of my girlfriend, the Philippines.
In the Philippines, divorce is illegal.
In the Philippines, a husband and wife agreeing to dissolve their marriage is illegal.
In the Philippines, adultery is not grounds to end a marriage.
In the Philippines, abandonment is not grounds to end a marriage. (Technically, the Philippine Supreme Court, via legislating from the bench, added abandonment as grounds for ending a marriage but no one has actually litigated a case on these grounds due to expected pushback by the legislative branch of the government. No lawyer wants to be the first to try such a case.)
In the Philippines, abuse is not grounds to end a marriage.
The Philippines is one of only two countries in the world where divorce is illegal. Vatican City being the other. (FYI the United States did not recognize Vatican City as a country until 1984.) Instead, the legal process to end a marriage in the Philippines is annulment. As stated above, a court trial is mandatory. The process for a simple annulment is six to twenty-four months. A complex annulment—meaning children, properties, and acrimony between parties—can take as long as five years.
Annulments are very expensive. Based on average wages earned per month in that country, we have thus far spent about 28 months’ worth of wages to get where we are in the process. Our next stop should be the trial court. Depending on which Internet search you wish to believe, we are two to five months away from completion of the process. Oh, thus far, we have been at this for a good eleven months.
Due to the cost—financial and in time—most people in the Philippines cannot afford the annulment process. This is why there are only about ten to twelve thousand annulment cases per year out of a population of 80 million or so souls.
Folks the only other routes for ending a marriage in the Philippines are a declaration of annulment by the Roman Catholic Church or divorce via Sharia Law. Both these alternatives cost more than the legally prescribed route for annulment, and neither is available for my girl as she is a Protestant.
If I chose to live there, I could simply marry her in her church and then live together without the expense of an annulment. However, I want to bring her to the United States. Since our government regulates immigration rather stringently, they demand that my girl present either a marriage certificate issued by the Philippine government or proof that she is eligible to remarry.
While I dispute the government’s claim to regulate marriage, I do acknowledge their right to regulate immigration. (Yes, biblically immigration should not work like it does now but that is a topic for another day.) Since the power of the sword is being used to ship people home for violating US law, I must recon with the current rules whether I like them or not. Thus, I am paying for the annulment process to clear the way to initialize the US immigration process.
The situation is this, per the church located in the Philippines, I am allowed to get married. Said marriage will not be recorded with the government but with the church. Said church has acknowledged the innocence of my girl as well as her eligibility for marriage. Once we exchange vows, we may live together, have children, and be members of the church in good standing.
Folks, there are a few different things in play here. First, Protestants only have limited recognition of their beliefs in the Philippines. Second, the Bible is only partially acknowledged as authoritative by the Philippine government. Clearly divorce is biblically allowed in some circumstances even if not allowed by the government. (See Ray Sutton’s Second Chance.) Poor people are more adversely impacted by the annulment laws than rich folks. Since justice cannot be had without money, the people there have found ways to skirt the system.
I’ve previously blogged about income and inaccessibility for women stuck in a bad marriage. If the husband is hell bent on fornicating with every wench at the local watering hole, the reality is that the wife can’t do anything about it but raise her voice and hope he doesn’t raise his fist in retaliation.
So, the bottom line is that I can get married in the Philippines but until government paperwork catches up with reality, I am unable to bring my spouse to the United States.
Folks, I’m to the point now that I am willing to record said marriage with the Philippine government as soon as I can just to get all the self-righteous folks here in the United States off my back about this whole deal. I was hoping to have a legally recorded wedding here just because it is a shorter wait to get a fiancé visa, but now I don’t care. I’m ok to let all the paperwork happen overseas just to get it over with.
Closing remarks
When I visit another country, I am expected to go by their rules. I think that concept should be easy to understand. That being said, my actions should always conform to Scripture. What should our response be as Christians when biblical law is illegal or ignored in a country?
Church and State are separate institutions created by God. Part of the issue being discussed here is what our response should be when the State gets itself involved in the affairs of the Church? Does the Church just roll over like it did for Covid-19 or does it fight to keep charge of what has been entrusted to her by God? Truthfully, the American Church is very willing to abdicate its role; especially in deference to the civil authorities.
Most Christians were wrong about Romans 13 and Covid lockdowns. Sadly, too many folks are in agreement that Caesar is really Lord of everything except your soul, and you ought to consider giving that to Jesus. Somehow the supposed shepherds of our souls like to keep singing “Have thine own way Lord” to the State instead of Christ.
Folks, yes, I’m just one guy, but the issues at play here are macro worldview issues. If you would just quit imposing your American cultural presuppositions onto me then maybe you can see there is more going on here than at first glance. It’s just easier for folks to throw me under the bus than to look at the issues.
It’s simple to me. When I am in the Philippines, I play by their rules, when I’m in the USA, I play by the rules here. Ignorant people want to project their presuppositions onto the whole planet because they are intellectually lazy. The bottom line is that both countries have areas where they fall short of biblical standards. I’m stuck in between them and eventually I will have to satisfy both to get my lady friend here one day.
I promised my former pastor that if he would give me the grace to get through this process that he would be happy with the end result. We parted ways because he didn’t like watching the sausage getting made. It’s his loss and perhaps yours too.
Trigger Warning:the following post discusses mature issues such as body parts, reproduction, family relations, and other stuff. If you are thin skinned, narcissistic, or easily offended then stop reading now. You have been warned.
I will give you a countdown to change to another article.
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Ok, thanks for sticking with me on this one. This post is about my vasectomy reversal. Again, if the topic offends you then turn back now.
First some history.
My wife and I were married in 2003. She spent almost all of the first two years of our marriage pregnant. Yep, three months into our marriage, she was pregnant for the first time. We had just started to tell people in our circle of friends, mostly at church, that she was with child and then she lost the baby.
I remember the drive home from work in the middle of the afternoon. Trying to drive and bawling my eyes out is difficult but I made it to the hospital. My wife was in the emergency room at Kaiser South Sacramento. She was sitting in the emergency room for way too long and nobody was in a hurry to see us. Once I got there, she pulled out her trusty cell phone and called Carolyn. Carolyn was a friend and a doctor on staff at that hospital. She came immediately to the ER to help her friend, my wife. She walked us from the ER to see an OBGYN doctor. No paperwork, no waiting, just service. Ten minutes after calling Carolyn my wife was finally being helped.
A few months later, my wife’s ex, her children from the previous marriage, and her former in-laws all took a trip to Mexico. It was Valentine’s Day week in 2004. It was during this period of no children in the house that my wife became pregnant again. Our son James was born in November of that year.
In the spring of 2005, pregnancy number three happened. Again, just as we were prepared to tell people, she lost the baby.
At this point, my wife took a trip to the OBGYN. After that fateful visit, we had a talk. During her pregnancy, she had gained a lot of weight and never lost it after our son was born. The verdict of the OBGYN was that my wife was too overweight to successfully have any more children. Thus, a proposal was put before me, either I had to have a vasectomy, or she had to have her lady parts “fixed”.
Since it was easier for me to have a vasectomy than for her to get her tubes tied, she pushed me to get the vasectomy. I reluctantly agreed. In exchange for me getting the surgery, she promised me more frequent sexual relations since we wouldn’t need to worry about any more children.
Editor’s Note: never do anything for a women based on a promise of more and better sex in the future. Such promises are hollow and unenforceable.
Reluctantly, I agreed. Folks I never wanted to do this, but it was the only time she played the “if you love me…” card during our marriage. I wanted to please her and who says no to more sex with their wife?
About ten years later, she had her ovaries removed as a preventative, in an effort to avoid getting cancer. Ironically, she later died of cancer, just a different one.
Following her death, I received a small insurance payment. With that money, I had promised to take a trip that we would have enjoyed going on together. That was my trip to Ireland last year.
At the same time, I was booking the Ireland trip, I decided to right a wrong that I still regretted from our marriage. I wanted to be whole again. Thus, I made an appointment to get a vasectomy reversal. I researched the topic and landed on a place in Ogden Utah that specialized in the reversal procedure. I paid for the surgery and got on the waiting list. The surgery was scheduled for September 9, 2025.
FYI As it turned out, Charlie Kirk was assassinated the day following my surgery. Charlie died about two miles from my hotel room on the day I checked out of the hotel.
Folks, by the time I booked the vasectomy reversal, I had been doing enough online dating that I knew that I wanted someone younger than me. I have stated before on this blog that I didn’t want to be dating someone that looks like my grandmother. I had decided that I wanted to find a woman about 40 years old. I knew that women in that age group still desire the possibility of children but a guy that can’t offer that is handicapped when they are sterile.
After booking the surgery, I met my girlfriend, fiancé, wife, or whatever the correct title is. We discussed the issue of children. And, yes, she would like a few kiddos in her world. However, she said if God will give us children, then that will be good, if not, we can try other ways of having a family. Being with me was more important than children but she would like both.
Seven weeks after the vasectomy reversal, I flew out to see her for a month.
The surgery place in Ogden provided me with four test kits. Periodically, I was expected to send in samples for testing. The test prior to my trip was negative. The test after my trip (December) was negative as well. Spending a large sum of money only to be shooting blanks was painful and discouraging.
Following the surgery, I told some friends that knew about me getting a reversal that all my private parts were black, but not bigger. Folks, the amount of bruising was remarkable. It took over six months for the dissolvable sutures to go away. The healing of my scrotum was uneven and slow. The horizontal cut was substantial. I later found out that even though the reversal utilizes microsurgery that the testicle is fully removed from the scrotum so the doctor can do the operation. Oh, the vas tube they attach is almost the diameter of a human hair. In my case, the vas tube had to be directly attached to each testicle. Sorry, I didn’t get a splice job, I got the deluxe reversal surgery.
This brings us to the present.
I am going to see my lady for two months at the end of September. I tentatively plan to return around November 30. On this trip, we will be participating in a “blessing ceremony.” (Something that didn’t happen on the previous trip.) Whether said ceremony is recorded with the government is unknown at present. It is mathematically possible that the annulment will be completed during my stay, which makes recording a possibility.
Anyway, prior to my trip, I wanted to pull out the old test kit and see what the lab in Ogden said. I mailed sample number 3 on Monday of last week. The package was delivered on Thursday. Since I didn’t hear from them on Friday, I was expecting the results on Monday. When the results were zero, they were always followed up by a phone call saying to hang tough, it’s not the end of the road yet, so don’t be discouraged.
Last Sunday night, I got an email from the place in Ogden. Yep, at 8:20 PM on a Sunday night, the test results rolled in.
My first thought was, what the #!@%?
Folks, for the last few weeks, I have been planning when would be the best time to redo the surgery after this report came back with bad news too. Oh, BTW, my answer was January. I even told my girl that redoing the reversal is cheaper than the other alternatives that I’ve seen on the internet. Believe me, I’ve been researching this for a few weeks now. Folks, everyone screams do IVF, but it has some serious ethical issues that I wish to avoid.
Anyway, I got up the nerve to read my reject letter. Most of the first paragraph was even in red letters. This turned out to be boilerplate language about verifying my contact information. As I continued to scroll down, I saw my name and date of birth. Yep, that’s me and that’s my birthday. Then I kept scrolling. Date of analysis was August 28th. Yep, Friday. Then was “Total sperm concentration: 7 million/ml.”
BINGO.
Yep, 7 million is a great number for a vasectomy reversal. I reread it. I was shocked. I texted my girlfriend and then select members of the blog staff to share the news.
This guarantees nothing as far a children goes, but it means I can do my part in the process. The reversal I wanted has happened. Folks, a lot more things have to align on the female side before invoking words like “family” but it’s a start. I wanted to promise the possibility of offspring and now I can do that.
God has answered yet another prayer for us. Boy, am I a happy camper.
Final Thoughts
Folks, I know there are a lot of naysayers out there that think I should crawl under a rock somewhere and wait to die of loneliness or old age. For them the thought of someone my age getting into another relationship is preposterous. To them I say, “Go pound sand.”
God put us on this earth to convert the world and exercise dominion over this planet until every square inch acknowledges Christ as King. This was the message of Charlie Kirk. Biblical faith is the long game. Those people waiting around doing nothing as they wait for the Rapture are the useless people wrecking it for the rest of us. Their disbelief is the biggest problem in our society not Democrats, Islam, or socialism.
Charlie Kirk was right and I’d rather go down like him, instead of sitting on my butt watching Fox News and contributing nothing. Family, faith, and hard work are the way out.
My grandfather lived to be 96. My dad is almost 90 and in great health. If I make it as long as either of them, then starting another family is a no-brainer to me.
My last comment is that there is no such thing in the Bible as retirement. We are to work until God takes us home. I choose faith and family over frivolity.
