Tomorrow marks one year since my bride died. She took her last breath about eight feet from where I’m sitting right now. I am reminded of her in random ways: smells, sounds, sights, and seasons.
One thing to know about my wife was that music was important to her. She liked the old Roger’s and Hammerstein musicals, opera, and classical compositions. Heck, her major in college was voice or vocal training if you prefer. She often sang at community events before I came along. She continued to sing during our marriage but got invited less frequently as the years went on. In later years, she sang at many funerals.
She and her children sang a song for me at our wedding.
It was a surprise that they sprung on me after the ceremony. As it was recounted to me, she and the children would practice singing it on the way to school in the morning. The song was, “If You Could See What I See” by Geoff Moore. The song became her ringtone for the entirety of our marriage. We’re not the only people to use the song during a wedding but it was special to me.
Oh, eventually my generic ringtone was “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Burl Ives. Each of the children earned their own ringtones too. Child #1 got “When the Saints Go Marching In” which was due in part to this child being a band nerd. Child #2 earned “Now that We’re Men” from the first Sponge Bob movie.
As good as my ringtones were, when each child was born, their mother assigned each a song. The song was mostly a bedtime thing. I don’t recall what the songs were. If I guessed, “Baby Mine” from Dumbo went to child #2. Child #3 was assigned a church hymn like “Amazing Grace” or something like that. Child #1, no clue what song it was although the wife was partial to classic Disney stuff.
I have a special place in my heart for the three songs listed below.
“The Warrior is a Child” by Twila Paris
“Touch of the Master’s Hand” by Wayne Watson
“Tell Me Again” by Geoff Moore
During my wife’s cancer and beyond, I frequently listened to “Stand by Me” by Darrell Mansfield.
Darrell has six or seven versions of the song that I have accumulated over the years. My favorite is from his album “People Get Ready” from 2009. It is a slightly edited version of “Stand by Me” from his live concert video released in 2008. Darrell Mansfield owns this song. He reclaimed it as the church hymn that it once was but stays with the tune made famous by Sam Cook. The video version of the concert is worth it just to watch this song and “Tell the Truth”.
One other song that deserves an honorable mention that has some musical hooks and lyrics that get my attention is “Things Left Unsaid” by Disciple. Many lines really sting when I listen to it, but a few don’t/didn’t apply to our relationship.
Here’s most of the lyrics presented in order.
It’s just a matter of time a few days ago
I saw you, you were fine
Remembering what you said
About the book you read
The one I got you
The Beginning of the End
Oh how we’d talk
For hours upon end
What I give
Just to do it again
But you’re lying there
In this hospital bed
Won’t you open you eyes
And let’s talk once again
If you fly away tonight
I want to tell you that I love you
I hope that you can hear me
I hope that you can feel me
Well I’ve been here all night
And I’m watching you
Breathe in and breathe out
Is it really you
Or just a machine
That’s giving you life
And it’s making it seem
That there could be hope
I could say to your face
If it weren’t for you
That there would be no grace
That’s covered my life
You took the time
To speak into my mind
And my heart
Words of life
If you fly away tonight
I want to tell you that I love you
I hope that you can hear me
I hope that you can feel me
So goodbye for now
And I’ll see you again
Some way, somehow
When it’s my time to go
To the other side
I’ll hold you again
And melt at your smile
Now all I have
Are the ones that I’m with
And you taught me not
To take for granted
The time that we have
To show that we care
Speak into their minds
And their hearts
While they’re here
And say I love you
If you fly away tonight
I want to tell you that I love you
I hope that you can hear me
I hope that you can feel me
I’m gonna call this post a wrap. I’m feeling spent just thinking about her last few hours of life. Disciple’s lyrics hit close to home and emotionally strike a chord with me as well. I’m sure you can find all the songs listed on YouTube or Amazon Music.